Floodlighting: Which Enneagram Types Are Most Prone to Oversharing (and Why)?

Picture this: You’re on a first date, and within minutes of ordering drinks, your date launches into a detailed account of their childhood trauma—stories of being bullied in school, feeling unseen at home and how those experiences still shape their relationships today. The worst part? You don’t even know their last name yet…

This, my friends, is floodlighting. And whether you find it oddly refreshing or socially overwhelming, it’s more common than you might think.

What Is Floodlighting?

Coined by Brené Brown, the author of Daring Greatly, floodlighting refers to the act of emotional oversharing—a rapid deep dive into intimate personal experiences with someone before a foundation of trust or rapport is built. It can leave people on the receiving end feeling confused, overwhelmed or even strangely honored by the sudden intimacy. It is distinctly different from vulnerability. Brown describes vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure" that is shared with intention and discernment. Floodlighting skips the discernment. It may feel involuntary, impulsive or even compulsive. The sharer often doesn't read the room—they just go.

In an interview with Glamour, Jessica Alderson, the co-founder of the dating app So Synched, said “Floodlighting in dating is about using vulnerability as a high-intensity spotlight. It involves sharing a lot of personal details all at once — to test the waters, speed up intimacy, or see if the other person can ‘handle’ these parts of you.”

Is Floodlighting Bad?

Floodlighting isn’t inherently bad, but it can be. Whether it lands as a moment of raw connection or emotional overwhelm depends on two key factors: the openness and capacity of the listener, and the underlying motive of the person sharing. When the intention is genuine connection, and the receiver is receptive and feels safe, it can foster intimacy. But if it’s driven by anxiety or a need to control the narrative, it can backfire.

Floodlighting can stem from nervousness, a longing for connection or a desire to self-soothe by externalizing stress. It can also be a subtle (or not-so-subtle) bid for validation or empathy. In some cases, floodlighting serves as a test to see how the other person will react. The psychology behind it is nuanced, but the behavior is instantly recognizable.  

What drives people to floodlight? And who is most likely to do it? Let's use the Enneagram to explore the personality styles that are most prone to floodlighting.

Which Enneagram Types Are Most Likely to Floodlight?

It is important to underscore that all Enneagram types have the potential to floodlight, just as all types can moderate their sharing. Inappropriate oversharing is more a function of self-awareness, personal mastery and the specifics of a person’s situation. However, some types are more prone to floodlighting than others. Below are a few of the most common.

Type 4: Floodlighting Champions

Type 4s have a rich inner emotional world and a deep desire to be seen for who they really are. For Type 4s, oversharing can feel like a shortcut to intimacy. They aren't afraid of sadness, longing, pain or personal struggle. In fact, they often lead with it. This can create profound connections—but only if the listener is ready for it.

First date floodlight alert: “I’ve been struggling with anxiety for years–I’ve probably been prescribed seven different anti-anxiety meds, but just last week I realized how much it’s affecting my relationships. I keep pushing people away. I’m afraid they’ll eventually see me as ‘too much’ to handle, and I don’t know how to stop."

Why they do it: To be seen, to feel authentic, and to create depth quickly. They may floodlight as a conscious (or subconscious) way to quickly gauge whether someone can hold space for their depth and intensity.

What’s really going on: A desire to be authentic and fully seen. A floodlighting Type 4 lets their desire to be understood cloud their vision and their ability to read the air. With little prior history with the person they are sharing this information with, they don’t realize they are overwhelming some people, the same people who might have been perfectly fine hearing the information once the relationship was more established.

Type 2: The Compassionate Confessors

Type 2s often feel that love must be earned. In dating or new relationships, they may overshare emotional stories about how much they’ve given to others—or how much they've been hurt—hoping this will signal their emotional depth and loyalty. It’s an indirect way to say, “See how loving I am? You can trust me.” 

First date floodlight alert:"I just want you to know you can tell me anything–the same way I tell my therapist everything, like about my abandonment issues and how my last boyfriend left me even after I stayed by him during his cancer treatment."

Why they do it: To feel loved, useful and emotionally connected. Oversharing becomes a way to emotionally hook the other person.

What's really going on: At the core, Type 2s deeply desire to be loved and valued, often believing that their worth comes from being there for others. This leads them to overshare, thinking that by revealing personal struggles and sacrifices, they can demonstrate their emotional availability and loyalty. They may not realize, however, that by pushing for closeness too soon, they risk overwhelming the other person or creating an imbalance in the relationship. 

Type 6: Anxious Oversharers

Type 6s tend to process anxiety externally. When they feel nervous, they talk. A lot. If they’re unsure of how someone feels about them, they might overshare to test the loyalty of a new relationship.This behavior serves as a mechanism to establish a sense of safety. The oversharing isn’t always about emotional pain—sometimes it’s logistical overload. Health anxieties, family dynamics, political opinions all are fair game.

First date floodlight alert: "Okay, I know this is a lot for a first date, but I just need to say it—I had a really rough time growing up. I was bullied for years in middle school, and even now, I still flinch when people raise their voice. I never really trusted my teachers or even my dad—he’d say one thing and do another. I guess I learned early that people aren’t always what they seem, and I’ve spent my whole life scanning for the next betrayal. I’m working on it—I have a therapist—but sometimes I just need to get it out because I don’t want to pretend everything’s fine when it’s not. I guess I need to know... are you someone who’s going to stick around, or should I be bracing myself?"

Why they do it: To feel safe, to anticipate threats and to build trust. Type 6s tend to overcompensate for their underlying fears by seeking reassurance from others. They overshare in an attempt to assess the reliability of their relationships, often not realizing that their need for certainty might overwhelm or push people away. It’s a way to test the waters and gauge whether someone will stick around when things get difficult.

What's really going on: Type 6’s anxiety stems from a deep-rooted fear of betrayal or abandonment, which leads them to externalize their thoughts in order to feel more secure. Their oversharing isn’t just about unloading emotional burdens—it’s an attempt to assess whether someone is trustworthy enough to handle their vulnerabilities. In reality, their need for constant reassurance and validation can create an emotional push-pull dynamic, where the other person feels both drawn in and overwhelmed. They may not realize that their attempt to create a bond through excessive sharing can unintentionally create distance instead of connection.

Type 7: Storytelling Speedsters

Type 7s are natural storytellers and social butterflies. They can floodlight simply because they get carried away by their own excitement. A good story, a funny anecdote, a wild experience—it all comes tumbling out. Boundaries can blur when they’re in the zone. For Type 7s, oversharing isn’t always emotional; it can be impulsive or sensational. But it often reveals more about their inner world than they realize.

First date floodlight alert: "Okay, buckle up—I went to five schools in four years- my mom’s boyfriend made us move every time he got a new job-and I basically raised my little sister while pretending everything was fine. One time I ran away just to prove a point, but I only made it two blocks and ended up at 7-Eleven crying into a Slurpee. Honestly, it’s kind of hilarious now, but I don’t like Slurpees even to this day..”

Why they do it: Type 7s use their energy, humor and excitement as a way to forge connections and avoid confronting difficult emotions. Their oversharing often stems from their desire to maintain a positive, upbeat atmosphere, helping them sidestep deeper, more uncomfortable feelings. It’s a way to distract themselves—and others—from potential emotional discomfort by keeping the conversation light and engaging.

What's really going on: The Type 7 floodlight often comes from their fear of being trapped in negativity or emotional pain. By telling stories and offering up wild experiences, they attempt to stay in control of the narrative, focusing on fun and excitement to avoid the underlying discomfort of vulnerability. They may not realize, however, that in their eagerness to entertain or connect, they risk overwhelming others with too much information, making the relationship feel one-sided or chaotic. Floodlighting can sometimes act as a defense mechanism against their fears of emotional confinement.

Enneagram Types Least Likely to Floodlight

• Type 5 Investigators  are generally reserved and private. They may think deeply about their personal experiences but tend to be selective about who hears them.
• Type 1 Perfectionists prefer self-control and decorum; they tend to filter what they share.
• Type 8 Challengers present strength over vulnerability unless trust is firmly in place making them unlikely to floodlight.
• Type 3 Achievers curate their image carefully so they are unlikely to floodlight unless they find themselves in an environment where they determine oversharing will improve their social capital.
• Type 9 Peacemakers may merge with others’ emotions but typically won’t floodlight unless under stress.

Final words

Floodlighting can be an instinctive behavior for some Enneagram types, driven by a desire for connection, reassurance or emotional release. While it’s not always inherently negative, it’s important to recognize the emotional risks involved in oversharing too soon. Whether it creates intimacy or distance depends on the timing, the listener’s receptivity, and the underlying motivations driving the sharer. Understanding the role of floodlighting within the context of the Enneagram can help individuals become more mindful of how and when they share personal details, leading to healthier, more balanced connections.