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Our guest is Lily Vasiloff, a Certified Financial Planner practitioner and a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. As President of Wealth Protection Management and Connecticut, she is an advocate and an ally for her clients as they go through a divorce. Lilly is also a nationally sought after speaker and author of four books on divorce. Welcome Lily. Good to have you. Thank you, David. Pleasure to be here. My pleasure. So I want to ask you today about. People getting a heads up on a divorce coming their way. So is this something that people can pick up on certain clues or do people just, you know, have it in their gut? They're getting the vibe something's going on. When should they listen to that gut? And then of course, the next thing is obvious. What should they do about it? So it's a great question. Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. Have a heads up. And I I of course I could share stories about both sides. But let's talk about when you start to smell something in the air, you feel it in your bones. Something's changed and the whole atmosphere is just different in your marriage. So I break it down into three parts. One is changes in behavior. The second one is your access to information that you normally used to have, and the third one is, you know, if there's changes in schedules and something's just different, person's not there anymore or they're there too much. Ohh and we can go into greater detail if you want. Well, I tell you what I do. I would like to pick the second one which is about access to information, because that's one that I think is really key and I want to even start by saying. If you don't have access to information to begin with, if you are in the dark, not good. And that's probably in of itself a warning sign. But what kind of change of access are we talking about? So great point that you just made. If you start thinking you are going down that path of divorce, your best offense is preparation. How do you get preparation? You need access to information. So here are the things that change that you should be aware of for accessed information. Your mail and his mail or her mail suddenly is going to a different address. You don't see it coming as often. Maybe there are new credit cards that somebody just simply shows, doesn't reveal, or you see bills for. There's a change in your online access. Can't under score that one enough. You look at bank statements or credit card statements and you see something transfers between accounts or new auto debits or deposits from other sources that aren't familiar to you. And you know, all of this is sort of like the setup of having financial information not available to you and or being manipulated by your partner or spouse. Well, and when you say manipulated, you're talking about maybe somebody moving money. Or they're getting It's almost like they're getting ready to to disappear or and disappear with your money as part of the process. Or premeditating your divorce before you even know it hits you. And and the biggest, biggest thing that I recommend in any of my books is preparation, preparation. Preparation is your best offense. You need to not only know your finances, which is huge, you need to know the laws of divorce in your own state. Because each state has different divorce laws. So if someone. Gives you that creepy little feeling that, ah, I don't like which way our relationship is going. The least you should do and we know this is financial planners, is get a hold of your financial information and know what it costs you to live. Absolutely. Well yeah. And. And so beyond looking for specific clues then do you confront them about it or do you kind of go with what you were suggesting, which is maybe become more aware of your own options and do you see an attorney if you're. Suspicious, I think you know. I'm always optimistic, So I think first you take care of yourself. You get information. If there is a challenge to doing so, or you put yourself at risk or you're in harm's way, don't do that right. The second approach is absolutely open up the lines of communication. Maybe it's something unintentional. Could be, could be. Maybe it's something that's just overlooked because the person is feeling more. More empower of taking, you know a protecting you of of keeping things from you that maybe you don't want to know about like debts or something. So it's, you know open lines of communication can't understate that enough. You need to have that available at all times. Well, and those are all the way those things you just characterize are all really good optimistic and well intending things. But the reason we need to look at this is because it might not be, it may be very nefarious and underhanded and all the things of course I know you've seen in two decades. O great advice, Lily. Good things for people to be thinking about. Lily Vassell, thank you so much. If you would like more information about the topics and our guests featured in the series, please visit ourwebsite@planstrongertv.com. Also, if you have a question you would like David to answer, please send it to questions@plannedstrongertv.com.