So You Think You Can Dance recap by Donna Kauffman

It's Week 2 of the So You Think You Can Dance auditions and I know what you're thinking. Please show us some good dancers we can fall in love with! I'm ready to start caring now, Show! Are you listening, Show? Are you?

OK, so maybe just me. But simply watching awesome skills isn't enough. No, I'm a needy dance-show viewer. I want to feel something for the dancer, I want to care. I want to worry if they do well. I want to be excited to see what they'll do next week. And sure, I think the show strikes a fairly good balance of showing actual footage of the good dancers and keeping the bad dancers to the easily fast-forwardable montage clips, but there's still a lot of filler. Like the Dad Dance-Off. Please, Show. Spare us more of that. Unless it's something truly meaningful and memorable. And the Bottle Dance? Yeah, not even. I filed it under "Please, if there is a God, I'll forget I ever saw that." Because dads? Should not be doing that dance. Not in front of their daughters, and definitely not on my television. Just. No.

Tonight, we hope for better. A fruity umbrella drink will help to foster this hope. At least, that's my excuse. Use whatever works for you. Also? It's midnight where I am, but you're at work by now, so be responsible, will ya?

We start the night in still exceedingly cold and snowy Chicago, where they think it's a fabulous idea to race into Lake Michigan in barely above zero degree temps. Because … they can? I don't know. Yes, it's the Polar Plunge, but I'm sorry, giving it a name and making T-shirts doesn't make it any less insane. And yet somehow they persuade myriad celebs to join them, along with Mary Murphy (file as you deem necessary). When I see her in a towel, my fast-forward finger starts to get a little twitchy, but then, whew! We're back on the dancers again and I feel safer, and most important, not cold, wet, and freezing. Like some other people I know. Jimmy Fallon.

We meet our judges, Nigel and Mary, and this week they are joined by … whoa. I'm sorry, I can't type for a moment. I need to be still so I can take in the beauty that is 6-foot-5-inches of principal dancer, choreographer and male model goodness named Fabrice Calmels. My, my … oh so very much my.

So, my night? Hoo boy, it just improved. How's your workday looking now?

As the rules are explained to us once again, we see a montage of the good, the kind of good, and the why-didn't-somebody-keep-you-in-the-car moments, including a few tickets straight to the next round in L.A. And, well … I sure hope we get to actually see some folks dance in more than a montage of dance moments.

OK, I should have qualified that. GOOD dancing.

Because we start the evening with … Puppet Guy. And, all right, OK, so the initial fear that there would be actual puppets involved in his routine is quickly dispelled when we find out that he himself dances as if he's a puppet on strings. And OK, he gets a somewhat greater leeway margin from me when he mentions being inspired by the incredibly moving and inspiring dance stylings of Bryan Gaynor (what, you don't know about Bryan? Please, go YouTube him. I'll wait here). And? Turns out Puppet Guy is pretty brilliant. At puppeting. Very entertaining to watch. I can't say that I see him in the broader scope of the show, but he's certainly earned a shot to find out.

So, yeah, OK, Show. You win. Nice surprise feel-good open. Keep that up.

There is a debate on whether they should send Puppet Guy straight to L.A. or at least vet him through the choreography round first and the only part of that discussion I care about is that Fabrice? Yeah, he has a voice to match the godly goodness that is him, so he can sit there and look like he does and talk to me All. Night. Long. Oh, the verdict? Yeah, Puppet Guy got his ticket. I'm thrilled for him … and send my apologies to whoever they partner him with because she's going to have a challenging time.

Next up is a very striking young lady who has tried out twice before, then took a year off to get her degree … but feels she's left this part of her life unfinished. I can relate to that, sister! She's very charming and I'm liking her. I hope we like her even more after she dances. And? I think she's stunning. Strong, athletic, graceful, elegant. There's a ticket in her immediate future. I hope we see more of her. I even forgive the cute kid cousin moment after her ticket announcement because it was a feel-good moment. And there was no bottle involved.

Well done on the opening, Show. I'm in!

That said … you continue to show us all these amazing clips as we go to commercial of what's to come. Please don't let them be the same little micro-clip montages later on. SHOW US STUFF. Cough. Sorry. On we go.

We come back from commercial to a trio of spliced together dancer auditions all resulting in tickets, but without giving us any real connection to any of them. And while I love — I do — that we're getting a little taste of how great the competition is this year, I want more immediate one-on-one dancing, too. Of course, they already know which of these dancers go on to make a mark in the later rounds, so perhaps we're not meant to get attached to these folks, but still … you know there's always that handful in the top 20 we've never once laid eyes on, and I just think they could do them a better service by letting us get to know them as well as their compatriot competitors. Even the voting field, as it were.

We move on to a young dancer who happens to have alopecia areata, which in her case means an absolute absence of any hair, including eyelashes, eyebrows, and the like. She's a lovely young girl who has a somewhat serene acceptance of the disorder and has even incorporated the striking look it gives her into her dance style, which is contemporary with a little quirk. She's mesmerizing and fearless. The way she maintains eye contact with the judges is equally riveting. They love her. I love her. They talk about her working with choreographers Sonja Tayeh and Mia Michaels and … oh yeah, she could be someone I care about. She reminds me in a way of Mark Kanemura, in a very good way. (Oh, all right. YouTube him as well. But hurry back!) And yes, of course, here's your ticket!

Next up! Oh. Right. We're reminded that we're going to meet two more dance crews later this evening that we don't actually get to see, you know, dance. Of course, there is always the slim possibility that the show took the avalanche of viewer backlash on that very subject from last week's initial outing and edited this week's package differently, but the key word there? Slim.

First, we meet our next auditioner, a ballet dancer who has been in tutus and toe shoes since she was a wee tot. I immediately identify with her because her Fabrice love is greater even than mine. Of course, she got to see him up close and personal during her time training with the Joffrey. And, boy, isn't she a happy camper having him as a judge today? No happier than I am, sweetie. No happier than I. She's lovely in her audition and how cute is Fabrice in his embarrassment that he's never noticed her in the halls of Joffrey. She's all, "Well, duh, I am but a mere speck in your universe," and he's all, "I'm so embarrassed, but I will look for you now, I swear." Gorgeous, talented, and humble. Can he stay, please, Show? Pretty please? He gives her a great critique and hands her the golden ticket. And, really, it can't be better than that!

We go from the lyrical, beautiful flow of the ballerina to … Contortionist Guy. Oh sure, sure he has some other new street dance move called bopping, but it all boils down to the fact that he can make his joints do things that they honestly? Just shouldn't. Not on my TV. Not if I want to keep this fruity umbrella drink all nice and cool and slushy in my happy fruity umbrella drink belly. I mean, I'll watch for you guys, because that's why I'm here and all, but the minute things start going at angles that usually require major reconstructive surgery? Yeah. I'm out. So is Nigel. And while it bothers me to share something so intimate with Nige, yeah, I can't do it. I fast-forward. Sorry, gang.

And, bing, bang, boom, and we're at the Choreography Round. Apparently there were 22 dancers we never so much as blinked at who were sent on to this round. We get All-Stars Marco and Eleanor as our coach instructors and … off we go! The result? Ten more dancers get through, who we have met not at all.

Next up? We move on to much warmer and sunnier L.A. for the next round of auditions. In addition to Nigel and Mary, we also have? Christina Applegate. And now, she's no Fabrice, but I happen to like her a whole lot. Her humor is much like mine. We'd be besties, I'm sure of it.

We start with Golden Sunshine State Girl, who has the most ethereal eyes and seems nice enough. Right up until she unloads the "I'm the one who can't contain my sexuality while I dance and feel I must writhe for you" declaration. Or, you know, words to that effect. Now, she's seen this show before, so she knows that Uncle Nigel? Will be all over that. Me? Not so much. Not even a little. In fact, none at all. Now, before you misunderstand me, let me clarify. I love a dancer who is naturally sensual and all sinew and grace and rrrowr. When it's simply a natural extension of who they are, to the point that they don't feel the need to actually point it out, they just are. In other words, just be sexy. If you have to tell me you're going to be sexy, then we're through, me and you. It's like telling me you're funny. Just make me laugh. I'll figure that out on my own. Even worse is her coquettish attempt at wanting us to believe that offstage? Giggle giggle. "I'm not sexy at all! I swear! It's just onstage, I can't help it." Oh, please dear Lord, save me from the rest of this and let's get it over with.

Cue music! Cue Nigel's grossly inappropriate comments! Cue, well, just general inappropriateness! And? She's good. She's very, very good. If she could dial back the "don't you see how sexy I am" vibe to like, anything under 1,000 watts, she'd be a true wonder. But while that over-the-top sex bomb thing will work on any man with a pulse, I'm not sure it will get her the kind of nationwide (read: female) votes that she'd need for this. Not because we envy it, but because we're mature enough to know it's unnecessary and that she's selling the enormous talent she does possess short by selling herself as something so one-dimensional. Worse is, Mary and Christina love her as much or more than Nigel does. Sigh. So, gushy gushy judge love, we endorse you, you sex kitten you, here's your ticket, my sexbot soap box is stowed, we do this every season, so why do I care, let's move on.

Now we're on to Tap Girl and our palates are cleansed by her adorable, perky cuteness. And by her There's No Place Like Home red tap shoes. And? Oh, she's one heck of a tap dancer, yo. She's got it going on. And in. And around. Cute as the proverbial bug Just … next time? If you're going to be dancing with your backside facing the camera every bit as much as your front side? Yeah, rethink those weird gray yoga pants. Otherwise? Solid entry. Have no clue if she can do other disciplines, but she earned the right to find out. Judges? Agree. Let's see you in choreography!

Next up is our Ukraine Krump Animator. Who happens to be a woman. Also? She's got this Dorothy cuteness about her, so it's an interesting combination of sweet and strength. She trained with Phillip Chbeeb (yes, yes, YouTube, come back, you know the drill) and followed him back to the States and here she be. And? She's really crazy krumping animating goodness. No judge conversation. They just throw tickets at her. I would have, too. Will be interesting to see how she goes from there. I like her.

We come back from commercial break to a montage of former contestants who are all dropping by to see how auditions are going, given they're happening in their current stomping grounds. We get a moment with last season's winner, Fikshun. Who? Still adorable.

What's not adorable is the mercifully brief and even then still too long Montage of Crazy we're subjected to before getting back to the good stuff. And by good stuff, I mean Wichita Guy. He's 28, from a place where no one does what he does, presently out in L.A. getting his Kid-in-a-Candy-Store on, being around more people who do what he does than he's ever met in his life. Also? His idols are in the audience, so pressure. His take? I just hope I can impress them. Aw. How can you not like this guy? So earnest Oh, Wichita Guy? Please be impressive. We learn he's done all of his training … in his living room. And my hopes and prayers, they begin to dim. Then Moves Like Jagger starts and … holy mother of dance. This guy can move like Jagger, and everyone who ever thought they could move like Jagger. He's great! He combines animation with popping and locking and just plain grooving to the music. Love this guy. Then Nigel gets the great idea to get him to battle some of his idols in the audience. Come on down, Cyrus! Fikshun! Legacy! And you know, how awesome are those guys? Love seeing Fikshun and Cyrus, again, especially. So entertaining and charming all at the same time. How did Wichita Guy hold up? Considering his sole experience is in his own living room? Pretty dang well, I'd say! Considering this guy hasn't even met another dancer, much less icons of his dance style, he must have felt like he died and went to animator heaven. It was a joy to watch, some straight-up feel-good stuff. Thank you, Show, for that! Also? Get your bad self on to choreography, Wichita Guy! I'd be shocked if he makes it past that round, and that matters not at all. Big enough step for that guy. Huge.

We come back from commercial to a contemporary dancer who initially seems somewhat nondescript and nice enough, but nothing that reaches out and grabs you. Until she starts to dance. She's quite good and makes the most stunningly quirky and at the same time beautiful lines and poses with her body. It's elegant and organic all at the same time. Her control is spot on and you want to keep watching to see how she can continue to work her body into such unusual and beautiful tableaus. I really enjoyed that. Standing O from all three judges with tickets in hand. Earned.

That leads us into the Montage of Dancing Goodness that I wish we could see more of on a one-to-one basis, but the show has been heavier on good stuff and lighter on filler than usual this evening, so I forgive. Mostly.

Then I forgive completely because we move on to a pair of ballet dancers who might just be the sweetest things ever. Fabulous Hostess Cat asks them if they are scared or nervous or excited and they look in each other's eyes, then she beams and shrugs, saying, "In love." And it's genuine … I'm in. Pass the Kleenex now, y'all! I can see where this is going. I'm just happy it's the happy happy joy joy tears and not, you know, the other kind this show loves to wring out of ya. And? Oh, it was so, oh so very lovely. She's utterly stunning. Breathtaking. Hard to take your eyes off of her, she's simply luminous. He initially comes off as more of a background figure, as that is his role in supporting her, but he supports her so beautifully, that by the end, it's just one big love fest of love. Standing O from all three judges, and? Oh, so very earned. I don't know that they comprehended most of what was being said to them judge-wise, language barrier and all that, but they understood the tickets they received. I look forward to seeing them again, most especially her.

We're back and it's finally dance crew time. The Biebster's had a tough week of the type that definitely underscores all the reasons why I was already over his participation in this last week, so I hop, skip, jump on over to the first dance crew intro this week.

First up is BreakSk8, the crew who dances, breaks, all on skates. It's an interesting combo and they're definitely good. The show sticks with the performance/interview mix style of intro, but we do get to see a modicum more straight-on performance this time.

Second up is Academy of Villains who are basically the theatrical crew. They're good, but I don't know if the theatric element makes them stand out to the point that I see them competing beyond this stage. And that is enough of that. They really did not think this new additional segment through well at all. It's a fail for me, and I'm a dance crew perma-fan.

We segue from that to Miley Cyrus Lookalike Girl who is just a little TOO ON for me. Or a lot. Can she dance? Yep, that she can do. Quirky, strong, plenty of body control. Sonja will have a field day with her. However, honesty … I liked some of the other quirky dancers better, and I'm not sure I'll ever connect with the personality, so I fast-forward to the here's your ticket part … and we move along.

Day 1 is coming to a close with a return of a contestant from last year who was cut just before the Top 20 was named. He's a very strong competitor. A fierce ballet warrior in a compact body. I think he'll move on to the next round fairly easily. And we'll see how he does this year. And? Yep, tickets all around, please.

Our next dancer is a young girl who danced her entire life, then left the arena at 16 with an eating disorder. After two years away and in treatment, she is back and seems like she has her head on pretty straight. An endorsement to her strength and to whatever facility helped her to get to that point. It's a great story to tell, because, contrary to what we see in the media about various stars and celebs dropping into and out of what I call Drive By Rehab, only to drop in again … and again … true treatment requires more than that, but help is like that. You actually need to stay long enough for it to do what it does. Because help? Actually does, you know, help … if you commit to it. So, a good thing to see the other side, the workable side of what getting help looks like. I wish her well and hope she dances beautifully. At the same time, I worry that someone who has battled esteem issues to the point of putting her health, both physical and mental, at risk, at any point in her past, would position herself for such potential national attention, because … people can be horrid. And this? Exposes her to such a potentially huge quotient of ugly, that … well, even the strongest of us would struggle. So … I'll just hope that things go for her in a way that ends up doing the best for her and by her. Whatever that may be. And? She's graceful, and light, and lovely. It's a very soft, ethereal and uplifting dance. She has joy grounded in the kind of maturity that only comes with deep reflection. Judges … well, see above. Christina has lovely things to say and gets it. She'd have sent her on to L.A. I would have too based on the dance, but perhaps baby steps are the way to go for this dancer. Regardless, as Christina says, it means getting to see her dance again and that's a good thing.

We're on our final contestant of the night, and we get another female street dancer/animator/popper/fill in the latest street dance name here. She is French, goes by the stage name Mary Poppins (get it, popper? Poppins? Eh, never mind). She is tall, strong, and unlike any street dancer I've ever seen. She is delightfully upbeat and attacks the dance ferociously and takes no prisoners all while being elegant and beautiful. I have no clue if she could do anything else but that style, but if anyone could figure it out and adapt? It would be this one. What makes it even more awesome? She's dancing and popping and animating to Sade's Smooth Operator, which … you'd think wha? Only … it's made of awesome. She works her way into the audience and up on stage, then Fikshun approaches the steps leading up and the two of them fall into this completely spontaneous popping pas de deux that is nothing short of brilliant. Standing O from every last person in the place. And, Show? THAT is the way to end a night. Judges? Come and get your ticket already!

Now it's choreography time! Fourteen dancers have made it through to this round and unlike last time, we have met a number of them. All-Stars Kathryn and Robert take them through their steps and yowza, I just like watching that particular All-Star combination right there. Wichita Guy realizes early on he's way above his pay grade and gracefully bows out. I hope he gets more dance training and continues to enjoy his craft. He's a joyous man. As to the rest? Our tapper gets her ticket, and our The Power of Rehabber also gets hers, too! All in all 18 move through from this round and we got enough goodness out of it I won't even mind that we never even met most of them.

Next week? Another day in L.A. then on to Philly! Also? Thank you, Show, for keeping the tearjerker stories to a min and giving us just as much uplift in other ways this go-round. Well done, you. Another helping of that, please and thank you!

So, my fellow dance watchers and armchair judgers. We've popped, parried, and pas de deux'd our way through the past two hours of dance goodness, but I'm not ready to end this little street party quite yet! I have some goodies to give away and new giveaway goodies to announce!

In last week's season premiere recap, I put an advance copy of my Aug. 26 Bachelors of Blueberry Cove release, Sandpiper Island, up for grabs, and boy, are you guys a grabby bunch! I like that immediate gratification side of you. Come over here and sit by me, won't you? So who grabbed and got? Well, come on down, Fiza Halliwell!!! Drop me an e-mail to donna@donnakauffman.com with your address and the book will be out the door tomorrow. No, I'm totally not kidding. I want you to have it in plenty of time to taunt your neighbors and friends, being the first on your block to have a copy in your hot little hands. Because, getting your hands on an advance copy? That's half the fun really.

Now, I know the rest of you feel your hands are every bit as hot and where's your book swag? Well, let me just say, you are at the right recap at the right time! Up for grabs this week? An autographed copy of my current release, the second book in the Blueberry Cove series, Half Moon Harbor. But? That's SO not all. Along with the book comes some extra book swag goodness! If you're a fan of my favorite redhead — some of you know her as Nora Roberts — you might be familiar with the original pieces of jewelry she has commissioned for her every release designed by the amazing Joyce Taber of The Cotton Thistle. Well, I feel incredibly lucky to even get to say this, but the fabulous Joyce has also been designing an exclusive line for my Blueberry Cove series. I know!

Already in her online shop are several pieces for the first two books in the series, including the beautiful lighthouse bookmark charm for Book 1, Pelican Point, as well as a lighthouse charm necklace inspired by the same book, and the clipper ship bookmark charm & nautical knot for Book 2, Half Moon Harbor. To that she has added a stunning clipper ship charm and hand-tied Monkey's Fist nautical knot necklace. (To see a photo of this beautiful piece, check out my blog here.) So you will win both the book AND your very own Half Moon Harbor necklace as well. I know! To see the entire Blueberry Cove collection, check out the special shop she has set up on her site.

How do you enter to win the fabulousness? Simple! Drop me an e-mail to donna@donnakauffman.com with "We dance, we read, we wear fabulous jewelry!" in the subject line. That's it. You're in. If you want to include any of your own dance dish thoughts, you know I want to hear it!

Then drop round next week to dish with me again and see if your name is up in digital lights here. Yes, you need to check back because it's the only way you'll get your goodies. Hey, man, I can't be all chasing you down and stuff. But you'll be here anyway … right? Same Dance Time, Same Dance Station.

In the meantime, if you want to know more about the whole "Wait, she writes books, too? Hunh!" thing, you can discover more than you ever wanted to know but will be so glad you did right here. And if you want to keep up on the day-to-day crazy good times, then join my Facebook Fan Page and dub step right along with me. And a one … and a two …!