Amanda Dilima, a retail leasing consultant for the V&A Waterfront in Cape Town, and Dennis Jonsson, the founder of My Choice Travel, a travel agency focused on curating unique experiences to South Africa and greater sub-Saharan Africa, met at Rocking the Daisies, South Africa’s biggest outdoor music festival, in 2011. Amanda was there with her friends, and Dennis had agreed to go as his friend Kalle’s wingman. “Even though we’re from completely different worlds [Dennis is Swedish and Amanda is South African], the chemistry between us was instant,” says Dennis. “I knew I felt it with the touch of Amanda’s hand on that first night.” After the festival, Amanda asked Dennis out on a date, and the two quickly found common ground in their shared love for travel, good food and wine, and the outdoors.
But after four years of dating, Amanda felt like a proposal was long overdue. “I thought it was so late that I wasn’t expecting it at all when the day finally came,” she admits.
“Early on in our relationship, Amanda started to drop hints that in South Africa people actually get married,” remembers Dennis. “I told her that it’s not really necessary in my culture to get married and that lots of people live their whole lives together without tying the knot.” This continued to be an ongoing debate while the two dated. “After a while, she finally started to get comfortable with the fact that it probably wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.”
On August 1, 2015, Dennis blocked out time in Amanda’s calendar for a “supplier function.” “He often gets invited to activities, and I regularly get to tag along, so this was not strange,” says Amanda. “He was unusually vague about what this activity would be, though, and on the day, he only told me to be comfortable and wear sneakers. As we drove up the N27 toward Atlantis, I assumed we were going to the dunes for some sand sledding. Before our turnoff, I saw the skydiving sign, though, and I almost died. My stomach moved up my throat, and I had to breathe it back down. I wouldn’t call myself an adrenaline junkie, but I always feel safe with Dennis, which makes me stupidly brave. Jumping off that plane was such an exhilarating, scary, freeing experience that I was on cloud nine afterward, and I really thought that was it. Dennis then wanted to go for a walk to grab some lunch. On our way toward the promenade, he suggested we go to the Radisson Hotel to listen to their Saturday live jazz band. I honestly wasn’t so keen because I was dressed like a tourist in jeans and running shoes, not really appropriate for sitting in a hotel. Dennis convinced me regardless. While we were there, he then wanted to show me one of their luxury suites for a potential client. I remember walking into the room seeing petals on the bed and a bottle of Champagne and then saying to Dennis, ‘Wow, they really go all out for the luxe rooms!’ Dennis at this point picked up the bottle and guided me to the balcony where he then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I remember being so shocked that I got down on the floor with him not quite understanding what was happening and then seeing this beautiful ring. We popped the Champagne, kissed, cried, and hugged each other the entire day and then spent that night with friends. It was perfect and will remain forever in my heart.”
For the wedding, the couple wanted to embrace both of their cultures so they decided to have two separate ceremonies, one with a traditional African ceremony and dress and the other more Western. The first was held in the coastal town of Port Elizabeth where Amanda was born and raised. “We wanted it to be outdoors, rustic, African-inspired, and relaxed,” says Amanda. “In African weddings guest lists are really hard to manage. We formally invited 250 guests, however, more than 350 arrived. Luckily, we catered knowingly. In our culture, when a woman gets married, the entire village comes to celebrate the coming together of two families. We no longer live in villages but that tradition lives on, so we planned accordingly.”
The ceremony took place on a friend’s farm about 20 kilometers outside of Port Elizabeth. “The remoteness, openness, and natural beauty really gave us the opportunity to create something unique and special,” says Amanda. “The wedding oozed vibrant colors and prints with indigenous and wild floral arrangements. Our wedding planner, Hayley Howarth, and her team of Belles from Wedding Belles came highly recommended. Her biggest challenge was creating the venue from scratch as our location had no water, electricity, toilets, or drainage—it was all outdoors.”
The dresses for both of Amanda’s ceremonies were made by Tamara Cherie. “Her design philosophy, cuts, and fabric choices bring a conscious yet simple touch to everyday womenswear,” says Amanda. “Even though she didn’t market herself as a wedding dress designer, I approached her hoping she would be excited about the prospect of designing a contemporary African wedding gown. She was—and together we created the most beautiful dress.”
“I knew I wanted a blue and white shweshwe print incorporated into my dress as well as in Dennis’s shirt,” says Amanda. “My bridesmaid Sibongile and I sourced the fabric we ended up using when shopping for bridesmaids’ and groomsmen’s fabrics. I love the large circular pattern in it. From Tamara’s initial sketch, the dress started coming to life with every fabric piece we added. I am pretty short so a full dress never would have been my first choice. The fit of the dress on my waist, bust, and back was perfect—and I felt so beautiful as a result. Plus, the contrast of this style and my second Western wedding dress made me very excited about doing something completely ‘out there.’ ” Amanda had planned on complementing the look with a pair of custom Pichulik earrings. “However, on the day, after I put everything on, my entire squad was like, ‘too much!’ Sadly, they were right, given the bold nature of the dress, and less was more in the end.”
Normally, Amanda likes to go natural and isn’t really into makeup. “I’m a blush and lipstick kind of girl,” she admits. “My mother is the complete opposite—she loves it!” She put Amanda in touch with Noziqhamo, her favorite makeup artist in town. “The brief was simple,” says Amanda. “Make me look like myself, but prettier. We did a trial beforehand, and then she worked her magic on the day.”
The ceremony started at 2:00 p.m. Dennis led the bridal party down the aisle while the choir sang Beyonce's rendition of “Ave Maria.” The bride followed behind in a car driven by her brother and her father. “This was a special time with the men I have loved the longest,” says Amanda. “My dad basically supported me down the aisle. I was overwhelmed by all of the people, and Dennis waiting at the other end.”
Amanda’s family priest conducted the ceremony and delivered a message that described love, resilience, and faith as the ingredients for a good marriage. “Just before the vows, the priest dropped my wedding band,” remembers Amanda. “It’s a rope-inspired thin gold ring, and the thick grass below made it virtually impossible to see. For a moment, panic entered the scene. Luckily, Daniel, my dearest faux brother, dived to the rescue alongside the groomsmen and bridesmaids; once found, the entire crowd applauded his efforts.”
“During the ceremony, we were blessed by an impromptu praise song from an imbongi—a praise singer among the guests who was moved by their ancestors to sing about the beauty of this union, which brings two worlds together, and the joy that was felt by all,” says Amanda. “These performances are very moving, intense, and are almost an out-of-body experience for the person delivering the message. It was a moving and profound moment.”
After the ceremony, guests enjoyed a cocktail hour while the newlyweds took pictures. Sparkling wine, beer, and ciders were served up along with African cuisine canapés. Everyone was entertained by a marimba band, choir, and dances. At around 5:00 p.m., the bridal party entered the main reception tent with the rain and a dance. “The crowd loved this and cheered us all the way to our main table,” says Amanda.
The seating was informal, so guests could choose where they wanted to sit, and Amanda’s brothers served as the emcees for the evening. “They’d coordinated a stellar lineup of friends and family to speak,” says Amanda. “All of the Swedes from Gotland—the island Dennis came from—surprised us with a rehearsed Swedish song, which the South Africans loved.” Amanda’s aunties gave gifts of blankets, cooking aprons, and jackets to Dennis’s family as a thank-you for accepting their niece into the fold.
All of the typical African food favorites were on offer including oxtail, samp and beans, creamed spinach, chakalaka salad, pap, roasted lamb, pickled fish, and delicacies like pig knuckles and tripe. “After all of the formal entertainment and formalities had finished, DJ Earl opened up the dance floor,” says Amanda. “This was the best part of the night as everyone old and young was out there, and we danced until 4:00 a.m.”