Camillus, NY - Michelle Fox's ex-husband interrupted her while she was feeding their 3-month-old daughter. He wanted to show off his shotgun. With the baby propped up on a pillow in the bedroom, he raised the weapon toward his ex-wife.
Exploding bird shot sheared off Fox's nose, blasted a hole in the left side of her face and stripped her of sight and smell. There was complete darkness, but she couldn't understand why. She tried to talk and stand up.
Fox was airlifted to a hospital. She remembers the pilot asking her if she wanted to live. She nodded as hard as she could. Her last memories before she was put into an induced coma were having her head shaved and choking while a feeding tube was inserted into her throat.
For more than six months, the 28-year-old lived in a nursing home while family members cared for the infant and Fox's 5-year-old daughter. Completely blind, she battled infections as her face healed. Attempts at facial reconstruction failed because of blood clotting and infection.
Five years later, Fox wears a prosthetic face made of silicone and acrylic that covers the width of her face from her eyebrows to her upper lip. It includes artificial blue eyes and lashes. She has forgiven Mariusz Burchacki, her ex-husband who she had dated since she was a teen. He remains active in their children's lives. She has found new love. She has tried snowboarding, ran a 5k, and is an avid cook who prepares meals from scratch without help.
She credits her transformation to a rekindled relationship with God, her new romance and learning Reiki, an eastern healing therapy.
"I'm happier now than I was before my accident," she said. "I never thought I would say that when I first became blind. I was feeling like I was all alone in a big black room. I'd cry and cry. Now it doesn't matter."
The shooting
Fox has been blind since Feb. 21, 2009, the day her ex-husband bought a gun. She'd recently moved back in with him to keep the family together in their Baldwinsville home. He wanted to demonstrate the gun's similarity to one he already owned. With the barrel of the older gun pointed toward his ex-wife's face, it accidentally discharged.
"It looked like the whole front was gone, the whole front of her face," said her friend Rebecca Cornelius who witnessed the shooting and called 911.
The shotgun shell had just grazed Fox's nose, but the bird shot exploded into her face. The location of the wound made her susceptible to suffocation, brain damage and bleeding to death, said Sherard Tatum, one of her doctors at Upstate University Hospital.
Fox remained at the hospital until the end of March 2009, 10 days of which she was in an induced coma. She has cloudy memories of the coma, which she calls "pure torture." Doctors had to keep her strapped down at first, and she remembers nightmares, feeling very cold, and feeling like she could never get enough air. At one point, a molar lodged in her throat had to be removed.
Then, until the end of that October, she lived in the Van Duyn Home and Hospital on Onondaga Hill. During that time, Fox had a 16-hour reconstructive surgery at a hospital in Rochester.
Doctors took two 8-inch skin grafts from her thigh and calf. When the reconstruction was complete, her mother said her new upper lip was a "movie star lip."
But the grafts quickly turned white because of blood clotting and bone infection. Her ongoing battle against a bacterial infection called methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA, made problems worse.
Rather than run the risk of another failed surgery, Fox sought a second opinion. Cancer survivor and philanthropist Carol Baldwin helped set her up with a free consultation. That led to a New York City cancer hospital.
A new face
Dr. Joseph Huryn, a specialist at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center who uses dentistry techniques to correct facial defects usually caused by cancer, worked with artist Margie Golden to make a new face for Fox.
In 2010, they gave her a placeholder, a basic prosthesis with no eyes.
"I'd rather have you wear the bandana than that ugly prosthetic," 6-year-old Maya told her mother at the time. Though blind, Fox had to wear glasses to hold the prosthesis in place. It was difficult to talk, eat and breathe, and part of her collapsed face could be seen underneath.
A year later, she had the face for which she longed.
Huryn and Golden first took a mold by covering Fox's face with gooey material used to take dental impressions. After removing the mold from Fox's head, they coated it with plaster. The dried plaster formed a replica of what Fox's face naturally looks like. They then used wax to sculpt Fox's new face on the replica. The wax sculpture was then removed and fitted to Fox's face for her approval.
After it was perfected, the wax sculpture was then returned to the replica and coated with more plaster. The wax was then boiled away. That created a facial opening which they filled with acrylic and silicone. The silicone was tinted to blend in with Fox's natural skin color. That acrylic-and-silicone product became Fox's new face.
Huryn and Golden viewed old photos of Fox to make sure the prosthesis resembled her. Her family and boyfriend were frequently consulted.
Positioning the unblinking, acrylic eyes alone can take one or two sessions, Huryn said. The gaze needed to appear to be focused at a speaker at a conversational distance. Naturally blue-eyed, Fox opted for "ice blue" irises. Golden sewed in the eyelashes one by one. Fox picked plum-colored eye shadow.
Huryn, who has been creating facial prostheses for 25 years, said Fox's case was rare. He normally creates 24 a year. Fox's stands out because it covers the bulk of her face. Her case was also rare because she was a shooting victim or trauma patient, not a cancer patient.
The finished face was attached to anchor points, raised areas of Fox's face created by a surgeon using her own facial tissue.
Fox attaches the prosthesis to her face each day with glue, which she can blow dry if she's in a hurry. It can stay in place up to five hours before having to be reapplied.
Due to wear and tear, Huryn expects Fox will have to get a replacement every two to six years.
Turning to God
Fox had always been religious. She was raised Catholic, and went to church every Sunday.
One night at the nursing home, Fox was feeling broken and alone and dropped to her knees on the floor of her room. She prayed to God to remind her of His presence. In that moment, a new song came on the radio. It was "Don't Cry" by Seal.
"I just felt like He was touching me," Fox said.
Her renewed faith helped her forgive her ex-husband, who now takes care of the children on Sundays.
"I let go of it," she said. "I gave it up to God. I forgave him a long time ago because it sets me free. I can't hold animosity because it's not me. It's not who I am."
Burchacki was sentenced to five years' probation, credited for jail time served after his arrest, and was let off probation early for good behavior.
Fox returned to everyday activities that sighted people take for granted. On Halloween night in 2009, she went out for one of the first times since the shooting. She and a friend attended a masquerade party at the Landmark Theatre.
She dressed as a mystery boxing girl, in hot pink and white shorts and a halter top with boxing gloves laced to her shirt and a cape. She wore a mask covered in feathers and a long burgundy wig to cover the hair that was cut short after the shooting.
She made new friends including one who introduced her to a different kind of spirituality based on energy, which led her to try out Reiki.
She took Reiki classes, where a master of the healing technique applied hands to and over her body. She began studying the therapy and in March became a master herself. She's planning to start her own business.
She returned to cooking, making favorite dishes such as lasagna and "crabby patties." She even won second place at a chili cook-off put on by her boyfriend's employer.
"I knew I was not going to back away from cooking," Fox said. "Occasionally, yeah, I got burned. But that's OK. You survive. I'm careful. Now it's almost like second-nature."
Recently, she tried her hand at making quiches. She drained a ham and diced it up into pieces, then fried up peppers and onions. Measuring for just the right texture, she combined eggs with half-and-half. Then she poured the mixture into crusts. Once the quiches had baked long enough, she took them out and sprinkled onions over the top.
Removing all of the skins from an eggplant is her biggest cooking challenge these days, she said.
Helping friends
Fox credits a team of friends - human and otherwise - for her recovery.
She uses a hand-held device she calls "Vic" which reads aloud her favorite pre-recorded non-fiction books about healing, inspirational stories and near-death experiences.
Fox uses a "talking pen," which scans printed words and states them out loud. She has taped words and phrases to the clothes hanging in her closet and the spices in her kitchen cabinets.
AURORA of Central New York provided the devices. Another group, the New York State Commission for the Blind, helped pay for her Reiki classes and trips to the New York City hospital. Fox didn't tally her medical bills, but they were mostly covered by Medicaid.
Six months after the shooting, friends organized a benefit for Fox. Funds from that and a few pancake breakfast fundraisers were used to build an addition on her parents' house in Camillus, where she now lives with her daughters. Local contractors and suppliers provided many of the materials for the addition for free.
A new love
Fox credits God with answering her prayers three years ago to find romance. At a Reiki class, she met Mike Notaro.
When Michelle Fox's boyfriend Mike Notaro gave her tickets to Bryan Adams concert for Christmas, he presented the gift by making a diorama she could explore with her hands.
For their first Christmas together, he gave her tickets to a Bryan Adams concert. Since she couldn't see them, he created a diorama of a concert hall that she could explore with her hands.
He glued dancing plastic figures to a cardboard sheet, added a raised stage, and put a plastic man with a microphone in the center.
Notaro recently visited Fox's favorite store, Behind the Iron Gates on West Genesee Street in Syracuse, in search of a vintage wedding ring.
He found a size 5, princess cut diamond in the center of a diamond-studded white gold band that wraps around the centerpiece like a yin yang sign. The owner recognized Notaro as Fox's boyfriend.
"She picked it up, handed it to me, and said 'Leave.' "
Like Fox, the ring would have a second life.