The 2014 election in 35 quotes

by Gareth van Onselen, 2014-04-17 05:37:20.0

ONE thing missing from this election has been a great speech to define the national mood and dominate national discourse. That tells you much. That is not to say there have been no significant statements. Of them all, perhaps Public Protector Thuli Madonsela’s report on Nkandla will be the one most quoted by history. But no single political insight has captured the public imagination.

In the subsequent vacuum has come a mishmash of standard rhetoric, clichés and platitudes, and a lot of garbage too. One can distil from all of this a series of quotes that speak to the overarching narrative that has defined the official election period.

Here, then, follows a collection of those remarks, in no particular order. It is not a definitive compilation but it alludes to the key statements that have defined events to date — the good, the bad and ugly:

Election 2014 in quotes:

1. "A revolutionary must become a cold killing machine motivated by pure hate."

The content of an Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF) banner, from the party’s launch. Since then its leader, Julius Malema, has said there will be no white genocide if the EFF comes to power. So, killing machines with nothing to kill. At least they can fall back on hate.

2. "We have a good story to tell."

The African National Congress (ANC) and the ANC government slogan (not that the government should have a political slogan) for this election, among others.

3. "Together for change; together for jobs"

The Democratic Alliance (DA) slogan, although you wouldn’t think it, from all the emphasis it has put on SMSes about stealing, adverts attacking the ANC and a focus on Nkandla.

4. "The ANC will expand our already significant public employment programme and we aim to provide 6-million work opportunities."

The cornerstone promise made by President Jacob Zuma at the ANC’s manifesto launch, although we have heard precious little on this since.

5. "Six million real jobs!"

So read DA posters in response to the ANC’s promise as the party marched on Luthuli House to protest against what it argued was a bogus offer. The march became all about violence and confrontation, however, and the message was somewhat lost in all the hostility.

6. "They took the undemocratic process of marching to another political party."

ANC deputy secretary-general Jessie Duarte on the DA’s march, demonstrating quite nicely just how little the ANC — the king of marches — understands about what is and what is not democratic, or at least how well it selectively uses the idea.

7. "When I was in Venda recently I was so impressed to see how people there express respect for other people. A woman would clap her hands and even lie down to show respect. I was so impressed. If I was not already married to my wives I would go to Venda to look for a woman."

That’s Zuma, on an endless quest for respect that constantly seems to elude him, casually suggesting he got a real kick out of women bowing and scraping before him.

8. "I seem to have said a word which I had no intention of saying, but I have been assured by my colleagues that you were right in reporting that I said we were broke but we are not broke. I don’t know how I said that. But I think what I tried to communicate was that we were down ... we were not as high with resources as what we thought we should have been. Of course every party is always not happy about how much money it has, but I can assure you we are equal to the task of running a very competent election campaign."

Congress of the People leader Mosiuoa Lekota, trying desperately to explain away his previous comment that the party was bankrupt.

9. "We can’t think like Africans in Africa generally, we’re in Johannesburg."

Zuma’s considered contribution to the e-tolls debate.

10. "E-tolls. Proudly brought to you by the ANC."

An anonymous billboard in Gauteng, later revealed to be "proudly brought" to you by the DA.

11. "Last night (Sunday) we saw a bunch of losers — unbearable, useless individuals. We must never wake up to this. We indeed have a crisis of monumental proportions, this tournament has proved. That mediocrity we saw yesterday is disgraceful."

Sport and Recreation Minister Fikile Mbalula, who features prominently on this list, tearing into Bafana Bafana after they lost to Brazil. Hypocrisy was never so blatant — one could apply the same sentiment to the performance of his own government.

12. "Just to make it very clear: our target is NOT 30% of the vote."

Democratic Alliance leader Helen Zille abandoning her party’s much-vaunted 30% target on Twitter.

13. "We want to win 30% of the vote nationally, 30% of the vote!"

DA parliamentary leader Lindiwe Mazibuko on the DA’s objectives.

14. "(Apartheid architect Hendrik) Verwoerd used the quota system, therefore we should too! We unashamedly say we will use quotas."

Enoch Godongwana, the ANC’s transformation chairman, completing the circle, so to speak. Once Verwoerd was evil personified; now the ANC seems to think he had some pretty good ideas.

15. "The South African government will, through existing diplomatic channels, be seeking clarification on these developments from many capitals around the world."

The Department of International Relations and Co-operation "noting" Uganda’s repulsive homophobic laws, further criminalising gays and lesbians. No one puts the amoral into diplomacy like the South African government.

16. "People must remain in the party and try to fix things internally because those who do leave will attract the wrath of the ancestors who will also bring that person bad luck."

Zuma, given a rare opportunity to actually speak (Nkandla has forced him into hiding), doing his bit to suggest magic will play a big part in this election.

17. "It passed — in four minutes it was over, and it didn’t happen again. We will not take a small event and make it into a crisis in our democracy."

Presidency spokesman Mac Maharaj trying rather badly to explain away the booing of Zuma at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service, which reverberated around the world on international television.

18. "All of their plans, infused in Satanism at best, will never succeed in the future because their plans are nothing else but filled with evil."

Mbalula trying to do the same thing, although he blamed the devil.

19. "There is no president in the DA. She must ask other premiers at her level to have a debate."

Zuma dismissing DA calls for a debate between him and Zille and, in doing so, suggesting the only person he would be willing to debate is himself — perhaps the only debate he is likely to win. Even then ...

20. "The toxic concoction of a lack of leadership, a lack of control and focused self-interest."

The significant quotes from Madonsela’s report into Nkandla are too many to mention. This one best captures the thrust.

21. "They did this without telling me. So why should I pay for something I did not ask for?"

After 11 days of silence, Zuma spoke out on the Nkandla report, only to suggest once again that he was a victim of machinations he did not control and was generally oblivious to and, thus, he would not repay monies as the public protector had suggested.

22. "The Nkandla report shows how Zuma stole your money to build his R246m home. Vote DA on 7 May to beat corruption. Together for change."

An SMS the DA sent to about 1.5-million Gauteng voters. The ANC took it to court. It lost, with costs. It is now appealing against the judgment.

23. "Today, the Sunday Times speculates that our leader is on the Democratic Alliance list of candidates for the election. Ignore this speculation. In the run-up to the election you will read all sorts of suggestions in the media, and there will be rumours everywhere. Do not read any truth into them. The only truth is what we communicate directly to you."

An Agang SA statement denying a Sunday Times report that its leader, Mamphela Ramphele, would join the DA as its presidential candidate. She did, the next day. Then she didn’t. Then things got messy.

24. "I am not joining the DA now."

Ramphele speaking in a radio interview the day after she announced she would stand as the DA’s presidential candidate.

25. "Only party members can serve on the representative and other structures of the party and be public representatives of the party."

Section 29.1.1.3 of the DA’s constitution, the requirement around which the DAgang scenario imploded. Ramphele refused to join as a member, thus the deal fell through.

26. "When President Mbeki proclaimed that he was an African, born of the people of this continent, our spirits soared. We shared his pride. President Mbeki helped get our economy on track. He presided over the roll out of RDP houses, water, sanitation and electricity. Social grants were a lifesaver for the poor. It was President Mbeki who introduced black economic empowerment. The policy wasn’t perfect, but it signalled that the injustice of apartheid would be redressed. We believed that the party that liberated us from apartheid would liberate us from unemployment and poverty. That is why I voted for the ANC. I had no reason to look anywhere else."

DA Gauteng premier candidate Mmusi Maimane, waxing lyrical about former president Thabo Mbeki, whom he supported because, from HIV/AIDS to Zimbabwe, he saw "no reason" to look anywhere else. The DA has made much hay out of championing Mbeki in this election.

27. "Sometimes in politics you have to bend the truth."

DA deputy federal chairwoman Anchen Dreyer, trying to justify the party’s politically convenient but entirely tendentious attitude to Mbeki.

28. "Those poty poty communities must give a taste and give those that don’t have the luck of experiencing poty potys. I’m saying somebody took a decision to deliver these things to other human beings. What’s wrong if other communities, somewhere, in the same province, in the same city, they have an experience."

Former national police commissioner Bheki Cele, in a virtually incomprehensible piece of gobbledygook, trying to justify the actions of poo-flinging protesters in the Western Cape.

29. "It’s just Helen decides and everyone must follow, and everyone else is an idiot. You dare not differ, she will use vilification and her minions will go after you."

Former DA stalwart Grant Pascoe, now an ANC member and one of more than 20 people to defect from the DA in this election, using the opportunity to denigrate his former leader. The DA argued in response that Pascoe had been on the verge of being sacked for poor performance.

30. "God is with the ANC and that is why we will win the 2014 general elections."

ANC national executive committee member Mcebisi Skwatsha making up for the absence of Zuma’s usual electoral suggestion that the ANC, God and Jesus are one and the same.

31. "It is not because of the ANC’s ways that we are in government ... it is through God’s will."

ANC secretary-general Gwede Mantashe promoting more religious nonsense to voters in the Free State. The party has more than made up for Zuma’s general absence from the electoral stump.

32. "This thing of witchcraft is when a witch does nothing for the people but they still get re-elected. This is what we find ourselves in here in the Western Cape. We are being governed by witches."

Mbalula again, still fascinated by the dark arts, this time accusing Zille of being a witch. Ironically, the argument he makes applies far more appropriately to Zuma.

33. "A vote for the ANC today means a vote for the Guptas, for people who are parasitic on the state, for people who want to accumulate."

Former ANC stalwart, now disillusioned ANC stalwart, Ronnie Kasrils, promoting his spoilt-vote campaign, much to the chagrin of the ANC. What he doesn’t seem to get is that a spoilt vote is a relative vote for the ANC anyway.

34. "Nxamalala (Zuma) has increased grants, but there are people who are stealing them by voting for opposition parties. If you are in the opposition, you are like a person who comes to my house, eats my food and then insults me."

KwaZulu-Natal agriculture and environmental affairs MEC Meshack Radebe behaving like any seasoned democrat (seasoned in demagoguery), suggesting grants demand political allegiance to Zuma and the ANC.

35. #Ayisafani

The DA’s attack television advert, banned without due cause by the SABC, along with a range of DA radio advertisements, suggesting you can take the Snuki Zikalala out of the SABC but his spirit lives on.

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Fikile Mbalula. Picture: SOWETAN