5 whacked-out games that will save your soul from slither.io addiction

My dearest, occasionally tormented by my vitriolic demeanor co-workers at Team PhoneArena haven't been themselves lately. Their very existence has been consumed by a serpentine viral plague called slither.io. It has tarnished all the life goals and ambitions they used to fight for, tooth and claw, rendering them into shadows of their former selves.

you have become subordinates to a vile interconnected entity!

They have become mindless subordinates to a vile interconnected entity that's vanquished their energy and focus into growing mute, senseless virtual reptiles by order of player-controlled mass self-cannibalism among their slithery species. Their being has succumbed to playing as the cursed game harnesses their creative potential to spread itself online by manipulating them into publishing seemingly harmless reviews, tips, and strategy guides. Their souls are already lost beyond all hope, yet I shall pray for their salvation nevertheless! 

But there is still a chance for you, dear readers! I have managed to walk away unscathed from my one-time encounter with slither.io, playing it for all but three minutes before I got bored and went to sleep. Therefore, I felt obliged to do my part in squashing the potential slither.io addiction rising among PhoneArena readers. I will do this by offering you five ridiculously entertaining games that shall take your attention a safe distance away from the ophidian abomination.

Disclaimer: While I do think slither.io is rubbish, I have zero problems with anyone playing it. I just wanted to have some fun with writing, okay? Good. Onto the games!

Mr. Crab 2

Download: iOS

Mr. Crab is back and he brought some new friends to join him on his mission to save all those lost baby crabs. The game features gorgeous graphics and tests your reflexes with timing and quick thinking, challenging you to get gold medals on every level. To ease you along, the game has you collect fun stuff like hats and masks to customize your crabs.

Why play it? Unlike those poorly drawn snakes whose sole purpose is eating to get big, Mr. Crab actually has a personality!

Salad Shark

Download: Android / iOS

In Salad Shark, you are a vegan shark. That's right – you can only eat fruits and vegetables, because meat makes you sink to the bottom of the ocean. The food is served by a monkey cartel with endless edibles at their disposal. The shark-monkey symbiosis is established by the latter throwing consumables at your mouth as you, the shark's rightful master, tap the screen in tempo to eat.

In addition to working your reflexes, the game features 20 missions, 7 achievements, and a survival mode that's an absolute riot. There's also an online leader board so you can measure your vegan predator against other people's sharks online. Kind of like you compare your snake's size with those of other players in slither.io! Gasp, I probably shouldn't have written that.

Why play it? Because it's fun and delightfully absurd!

Gravity Duck

Download ($3): Android / iOS

Gravity Duck is my favorite game of all time. Of all time! Believe me when I say that, for I love it more than Goat Simulator – and I love Goat Simulator like my mother loves me! Anyway, you are an average, everyday duck that's been given the power to control gravity by a stone totem that came to life. This is, quite literally, the entire plot, and I love that. It exists for absolutely no reason other than to get this unabashedly stupid, tremendously addictive game going!

You will put your wall-crawling duck pal through 140 levels in 4 dimensions, outsmarting puzzles, side-stepping adversaries, and doing gravity-bending duck things in general. Feels good, doesn't it?

Why play it? While slither.io is just stupid, this game is both brilliant and astonishingly dumb – just like a certain PhoneArena writer I know that goes by the name of Luis...

Jelly Brain

Download: Android / iOS

Giving both Salad Shark and Gravity Duck formidable competition in terms of silliness, this game has you jump around obstacle-filled levels with all the kinetic power an autonomous brain can muster. The action is quick and vital, but it takes more nimble reflexes than raw brain power to succeed, which makes the game perfect for quick, casual encounters. The graphics and sound design are also impossibly cute.

Why play it? Unlike slither.io, this game won't turn your brain to jelly!

Octodad: Dadliest Catch is too good. Seriously. You are the mighty Octodad, the unlikeliest hero ever. A dapper octopus posing as a functional American dad with a house, wife, and children. As you can probably imagine, his existence is full of paradoxes and struggles – it's not easy pretending to be a human and keeping your true identity a secret when your appendages aren't hands and feet, but unwieldy boneless tentacles. And that face? How does Octodad do it?! Play the game and you shall learn. Enjoy the randomness!

Why play it? Because Octodad WILL beat your slither.io high score if you don't!