Weddings at a funeral home?

S

ure, it sounds a touch incongruous.

But really, why can’t a funeral home host a wedding? Or a birthday party?

Walking through the building he bought next to his long-established funeral home, Wells Greeley can easily envision his sprawling facility hosting a funeral one day, a Rotary Club luncheon the next day and a wedding on Saturday.

Yes, the times are changing in the funeral industry as baby boomers age, more families opt for memorial services at the funeral home, and funeral services take on more of a “celebration of life” tone.

A tour of Wells Funeral Home Events and Reception Center, now under construction in a 12,000-square-foot building next to the home, confirms that trend. Greeley enthusiastically points out the future amenities, which will include a dining/meeting area for 100, a full catering kitchen and several potential meeting rooms.

As he enters a smaller room behind the dining area, Greeley pauses to consider the possibilities.

“If ever we do host a wedding in the chapel, this could be the bride’s dressing room,” he said.

In a changing world, it makes a lot of sense. Families have become more casual about funerals, wanting more informal gatherings that offer video remembrances playing on flat-screen television, refreshments and a chance for camaraderie.

“They are shifting to a different way of celebrating a loved one’s life — there’s no question about that,” Greeley said. “We are, to a certain degree, becoming events planners.”

At his home, which has been in business for 125 years, Greeley has about the perfect layout to take advantage of those changes. The vacant building next door is literally 11 feet from the funeral home, so it will be separate but completely convenient.

Society changes, shifts to cremation

One trend driving the change is the change in the cremation rate.

“When I first came to work here in 1975, it was 6 percent; now it’s 38 percent,” Greeley said. “And that’s just here, and that’s over 38 years. In certain pockets of the country the cremation rate is 75 percent.”

In 1975, the national rate was 6.5 percent, a figure that soared to 42 percent by 2011, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. In some states, including Nevada, Washington, Oregon and Hawaii, the rate was over 70 percent in 2012.

“We’re sort of in the same same situation that all funeral homes are in when it comes to families who are selecting cremation as a form of disposition,” said Steve Hundley, director of funeral service operations at Morris Funeral Home, which has two locations in Asheville. “One of the challenges we face is letting families know there’s more you can do with cremation as a form of disposition, instead of letting that be the only thing you do.”

They tell families that the lack of a body for viewing does not preclude a memorial service or a visitation, and that the community still wants to pay its respects.

“Traditionally, having the body present, there was a lot of value to that for a lot of families, and that still holds true today,” Hundley said, adding that older people tend to favor that tradition. “Some families haven’t had that education today regarding cremation, to know that they do have other options.”

Some families actually hold a service with the body present, then cremate the remains. Others have the cremation done and have the loved one’s ashes present in an urn at a service.

Some people don’t like the idea of the embalming process, while others see no reason to take up real estate with their bodies when a cheaper, simpler method exists.

The typical American funeral costs between $8,000-$10,000, although Greeley said he’s seen funerals come in at $15,000 or $16,000. A basic cremation costs about $1,000, but typically families want some sort of service with it and usually an urn, pushing the typical cost to $3,000-$5,000, Wells said.

Hundley, part of his family’s fourth generation at Morris, said his company also has seen a shift toward “celebration of life” events, although they have no plans to add a center or venue similar to Wells’.

They have helped families plan memorials at locations varying from the Blue Ridge Parkway to the UNC Asheville Botanical Gardens.

Dale Groce, co-owner of Groce Funeral Home in Asheville, said that in light of changing traditions, the concept makes sense to him.

“Years ago, everybody turned to churches for these things, but now there’s less and less church affiliation for a lot of people,” Groce said. “It used to be after the funeral, everyone would go back to church where the ladies would fix a meal for the family. But that has changed. So, it makes sense, plus, I think in Haywood County there are not a lot of events centers.”

Ken Caulder, president of the N.C. Funeral Directors Association, which has 350 members, is also a funeral director at Levitt Funeral Home in Wadesboro. He said he’s aware of a funeral home in Kannapolis that has added an events center, but that’s the only other one he’s aware of statewide.

“There’s are probably more of them in larger cities and metro areas,” Caulder said. “But a lot of funeral homes are having catering added to the general price list. Even with funeral homes, you’ll see some that have a multipurpose room, for lack of a better word, that can be converted for receptions with full catered meals at a service. For more and more people, the trend is doing these as a celebration of a life — a little less formal ceremony, with more time for getting together and sharing, having fellowship, having refreshments and even cocktails.”

Groce said they have no plans to add such a center, partly because the Asheville area has several already that aren’t affiliated with funeral homes, and partly because of the expense.

Greeley declined to say how much he’s spending, other than saying it’s a significant investment.

The building permit on file with the town of Waynesville puts the cost of the renovations at $891,000. Tax records show the sale price of the former Mountaineer building at $365,000.

In other markets

Greeley researched the concept of an events center before making the leap, visiting a half-dozen funeral homes with similar concepts in Kentucky and South Carolina. One of those was the Celebration Center of Lexington, Ky., part of the Milward Funeral Directors homes.

“We’ve been open with the Celebration Center for three years, and it’s just exploding now,” said Grace Johnson, events coordinator at Milward. “The first two years it was steady but idle at times. At first, you just wonder if people are receptive to this kind of environment, because it’s not old school. It’s new school.”

Their center is 7,800 square feet and is located in their suburban location funeral home. As Johnson puts it, the venue offers a place where “you can really celebrate a life” and “not just sit around and stare at each other.”

They’ve hosted wedding parties, family reunions, a 60th birthday and other events.

“It works,” Johnson said, adding that the owner of her business initially was skeptical. Now, even his friends inquire about booking the room.

That’s the response Greeley is hoping for when Wells Event and Reception center opens in May. Already, he said, they’ve had inquiries about a surprise birthday party and a business gathering.

Workmen have roughed in the walls and some of the fixtures, and his wife, interior designer Kathryn Greeley, has finalized all the decor and furniture. The venue will be fully wired for televisions and electronics, key to business presentations, and it will feature comfortable, welcoming furniture.

The building, once a pool hall and then the printing press building and office for the Mountaineer newspaper, features oak floors and impressive wood beams the Greeleys will use in the finished product. Walking the unfinished building, you can tell Greeley is peering into the future. His daughter, Jennifer Greeley Jacobson, and her husband, Ryan, are the next generation in the business, and Greeley knows the events venue will be a key to their future.

“We’re taking a building that was going into a bad state of disrepair and making it a very viable improvement in Waynesville,” Greeley said. “I’m most enthused about it.”

Funeral industry statistics

• In 2012, the U.S. cremation rate was 43.2 percent, up from 26.2 percent in 2000 and 3.6 percent in 1960.

• The total estimated cost of the average American funeral with a vault is $8,343.

• The number of U.S. funeral homes in 2012 was 19,680, down from 21,080 in 2007 and 21,757 in 2002.

• In 1960, the cost of the average funeral was $708; in 1980 it was $1809; in 2000 it was $5180; in 2009 it was $6,560.

• As the baby boom generation ages, the death rate is projected to rise. It stood at 8 annual deaths per 1,000 population in 2011, a number projected to increase to 8.6 per 1,000 by 2025 and 9.6 by 2040.

• 86 percent of funeral homes in the United States are privately owned by families, individuals or closely held companies. The remaining 14 percent are owned by publicly traded corporations.

• The average National Funeral Directors Association member funeral home handles 112 calls per year and has three full-time and three part-time employees.

• U.S. funeral homes employed 102,877 workers in 2007.

• As of 2008, the United States had about 25,680 funeral directors and 8,200 embalmers.

• Funeral home/funeral home combined with crematories revenue: $11.95 billion in 2007, increased from $11.05 billion in 2002.

Sources: NFDA, U.S. Census Bureau Economic Census, U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, Cremation Association of North America, U.S. National Center for Health Statistics.