Alleviating Festive Stress

Whilst you’re probably well aware of some of your festive stress triggers it’s really empowering to acknowledge ALL of them along with your innermost feelings. 

For when we override our authentic feelings, we tax our nervous system so we end up feeling overwhelmed, anxious or compensating with compulsive behaviours like control dramas, numbing ourselves with alcohol or avoidance perhaps by manifesting a very real headache. 

So I’ve created this quick 2 minute quiz to help you identify your festive stress triggers so you can take steps to ensure your needs are met so you can really enjoy your festive season.

Step One: Read through each list & tick which answers are true for you... 

What do you most love about about the holiday season?

__ Spending quality time with loved ones

__ Feasting & indulging in hedonistic pleasures

__ Play time being silly such as playing backyard cricket or games

__ Creating homemade gifts or finding the perfect gifts 

__ Community activities such as singing carols

__ Watching nostalgic movies 

__ Showing your love by hosting with festive baking / cooking

__ Decorating your home 

__ Reflecting upon your accomplishments & what you learned

__ Getting out of your mundane routine by taking time off to relax

__ The social opportunities to catch up with friends / meet new people

What do you most dislike about the holiday season?

__ Financial pressure to spend money buying gifts / holiday activities

__ The sense of duty to spend time with family members who don’t understand you so they inadvertently invalidate your perspective & values

__ The commercialization / distortion of the sacred reason for the season

__ The expectation to comply with religious traditions that hold little meaning for you

__ Work Christmas parties

__ The added workload of preparing for festive events

__ Pressure to spend time with in-laws

__ Organizing schedules that suit everyone’s needs

__ Pressure to have festive meal well timed & cooked & suit everyone's dietary requirements

__ Non-stop end of year commitments resulting in burn out

__ Accommodating houseguests or inebriated & inappropriate behaviour from extended family members

Step Two: consider what practical steps you can take to do more of what you love & less of what you don’t on the understanding that self honouring choices are the foundation of a truly meaningful & happy festive season.

Here's a few suggestions for possible solutions for the dislike list...

Financial pressure to spend money? Recycle gifts by having a clean out & gifting thing in perfect condition that you don't use or consider what you enjoy making such as chutneys, cookies, preserved fruit, pot herb seedlings, make personalised Xmas decorations or bath products. This can also be a free holiday activity! Look on Pintrest or Google for more ideas.

Sense of duty to spend time with family? Your first duty is to your own self care so assess whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks & act accordingly. Speak your truth with loving compassion, whether you go & someone says something derogatory towards you or you choose not to go.

Commercialisation / distortion of the sacred? Put the meaning back by creating your own sacred ceremony to do alone or with those who value that. It may be as simple as saying grace or invoking a sacred intent as you light the centrepiece candle.

Expectation to comply with religious traditions? Explain your spiritual outlook is based on mutual respect of all traditions so just as you respect their wishes to express their beliefs in their way you ask they afford you the same courtesy.

Work Christmas parties? Don't go or leave early before everyone gets too messy.

The added workload of preparing for festive events? If hosting, ask everyone to pitch in...whether that's bringing allotted course dishes, drinks, Xmas crackers or having a picnic / BBQ in a park or going to a restaurant

Pressure to spend time with in-laws? Its one thing feeling duty bound to one's own family but then extending this to your spouse can be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Assess the risk to self versus your support for your partner & act accordingly so if you extend yourself you do so without resentment. 

Organising schedules that suit everyone’s needs? First consider your own needs & only plan what is viable for your energy levels. Consider alternate plans for alternate years instead of trying to meet everyone's wishes each year.

Pressure to have festive meal well timed & cooked & suit everyone's dietary requirements? Ask those with specific dietary needs to bring a dish they can eat, plan to only have one drink before serving the meal & don't commit to set times to serve courses so the day can unfold as it needs to. 

Non-stop end of year commitments resulting in burn out? Prioritise what is essential & what isn't, noticing what makes you sigh or feel enthusiastic as an indicator of whether it will drain or energise you. 

Accommodating houseguests or inebriated & inappropriate behaviour from extended family members? State your guidelines / expectations at the outset with houseguests & ask them to help when they don't offer. Speak up immediately if anyone dishonours your right to sacred space.

Another way of alleviating festive stress is to do your gift shopping online from the comfort of your own home to avoid crowds, parking & long check-out queues.

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