Worried your nighttime romps aren't lengthy enough? Most couples aren’t doing it for as long as you might think, according to new data from Lovely, a sex toy and tracking app for couples. After collecting information from 432 couples and more than 2,000 sexual encounters, the company found that sex typically lasted only 12 minutes for the average couple.
Lovely also organized the data state by state—and once you look at the numbers, it’s clear that some people are more satisfied with their sex lives than others. For instance, people in Maine typically did the deed for 19 minutes and were very satisfied in bed. People in Michigan, however, reported that while they're happy with their sex lives, they also wanted to change something the next time they had sex. Those people were only getting down for seven minutes on average.
The trend isn't necessarily prominent in every state, since Lovely only looked at favorite sex positions and how long sex lasted on average. Lots of other specific factors—like oral sex and the level of intimacy— which both contribute to a woman's orgasm, weren't specifically noted.
Still, 12 minutes seems...pretty short. If you take a look at the peer-reviewed studies out there (or, you know, if you just talk to your partner), you’ll find that many women need longer than 12 minutes to get off. Case in point: Straight women tend to orgasm less frequently when sex lasts less than 30 minutes, starting the clock at foreplay, according to a recent study from Chapman University.
But the data presented by Lovely doesn’t clarify if the 12 minutes includes just penetration, or if foreplay was involved, too—and that makes all the difference. That’s because foreplay helps build arousal, which makes it easier for women to orgasm, according to Men’s Health sex advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D.
Never in the mood lately? Watch a hot doc explain why you have a low sex drive:
So, how can you extend your time in the sack in a way that gets both of you going? Here are three great moves to get you started.
1. Touch Everywhere
You both have all sorts of secret erogenous zones—like the neck, legs, and back—that are begging to be touched. Read up (and pass this guide to your partner, too) on how to give a great massage for specific tips and tricks. (And if you want to make things extra sexy, incorporate this Intimate Earth Massage Oil from the Women’s Health store.)
Related: What Men ALWAYS Notice About You During Sex
2. Make Oral Sex a Priority
In a recent study, 37 percent of women said they need clitoral stimulation to orgasm during sex. One of the best ways to work the thousands of nerve ending on the nub of your clitoris? You guessed it—cunnilingus. Have your partner give these oral sex moves a shot.
3. Experiment With Sex Toys
Find a sex toy that will help increase pleasure for the both of you, like this awesome couples massager.
All these techniques will get you revved up before intercourse even becomes a thing, increasing your chances of successfully coming once you move past foreplay. Just keep in mind that duration doesn’t always paint the whole picture. And it shouldn’t stress you out to the point of anxiety (after all, that could put a major block on your chance of orgasm.)
Related: 5 Sex Positions You Should Finish With For An Orgasmic Grand Finale
One more tip: Occasionally trying new sex positions or having sex in a new place can make things just as fun if you want to switch it up—even if the sex doesn't last as long. Some women even prefer to keep things short, since going too long can get boring and mess with lubrication.
The article This Is How Long Sex Actually Lasts For Most Couples originally appeared on Men’s Health.
Alisa Hrustic is the deputy editor at Prevention, where she leads the brand’s digital editorial strategy. She’s spent the last five years interviewing top medical experts, interpreting peer-reviewed studies, and reporting on health, nutrition, weight loss, and fitness trends for national brands like Women’s Health and Men’s Health. She spends most of her days diving into the latest wellness trends, writing and editing stories about health conditions, testing skincare products, and trying to understand the next greatest internet obsession.
