Wrestling Well

One of the surprises of my 28-month tenure as university president is how much I enjoy our athletics program. Early in my tenure, one of my trustees -- a former college wrestler -- invited me to a wrestling match. I knew nothing about the sport and had never seen a match. After the first time, I was hooked! Wrestling looked fascinatingly difficult. You have to be strong, fearless, fast and smart. You have to be tough, mentally and physically.

I recently met with Demetrius Romero, one of Utah Valley University’s nationally ranked wrestlers, and asked him a few questions.

Q: What is the most important principle of your training as an elite wrestler?

A: Embrace your chosen suffering so that you can excel at what you do. You know it’s going to be hard, but you must get used to feeling uncomfortable and carry on.

Q: What goes on in your mind just before a match?

A: I try to visualize all the positions that could happen, including the bad ones. I also visualize how I might recover when I am down -- e.g., by five points. How can I keep doing the right thing? How can I score?

Q: How do you get out of a tight spot?

A: I think of building a snowman. You start with a small snowball. That’s one point. You roll it into two points. You just build and build. You do the things that open you up more. Hold your pace. Don’t do something crazy. You may be tempted to do one big snowball for two or three points. Don’t panic. It’s all part of a process. I’ve been there before. I know how to build from point to point. I did panic when I was younger, especially when I was down by a lot of points. I wanted the big points right away and did not understand well the concept of time in a match. I learned how to relax under pressure. You build your results over time.

Looking back to my semester of teaching Principles of Leadership, I see the same patterns that Demetrius talks about. My students, teaching and research assistants, and I had to “embrace our chosen suffering,” which was to keep learning during an abnormal year of a pandemic and political turbulence. We had to get comfortable with virtual interactions. We planned two face-to-face sessions, but only one worked out. I could have visualized better how the semester might unfold. But the administrative demands on my time precluded this. For example, I had to become comfortable with many adjustments to my virtual office hours so that more students could participate, accommodating meetings in the early morning, midafternoon and early evening.

My teaching partner and research assistant were critical to the success of my class. We were a team that learned, when in a tight spot, to “build and build.” That went not only for office hours but also deadlines, readings (the students were overwhelmed by the amount of reading I assigned), assignments and syllabus progression. We had to be agile and learn to relax under pressure. The students, too, learned to communicate more frequently and confidently over time. At the beginning, I was truly nervous that they would be passive since we were not meeting in person. By the end of the semester, I got to know a few of them well. I felt rewarded as I listened to their insights and knew that the concepts and stories I shared were making a difference.

When 2021 started, I sent a message to my students:

Happy New Year to everyone! Thank you to those who filled out the SRIs [overall class score of 4.62/5] and gave feedback on the class. The compliments were very welcome. We all like to get positive feedback! On the more critical or constructive side, I hear your comments: 1) that this would have been better as a live or face-to-face class (I agree!) -- thank you to all who attended office hours and our two "f2f" sessions; 2) too much homework and reading (sorry -- this was my first time to put together a course and I have yet to understand better what is "just right" for reading and homework); 3) some assignments were fluffy; and 4) more practical applications of the concepts and lessons would have been good. Like you, I have used our class to learn to become a better leader and teacher. I am happy that many of you felt that this class was meaningful for your learning and you appreciated the personal stories I shared. All the best with spring semester. Continue learning and believing in yourself. Keep asking good questions. Stay curious. Lead well. Thank you, all.

Teaching has been a privilege. I came to know better the students of UVU. I appreciated more fully the challenges faculty face during the COVID-19 pandemic. I also had moments of frustration, which brings me to the last question I asked wrestler Demetrius Romero.

Q: How do you deal with frustration with coaches, teammates and training?

A: I had to learn to communicate better with people. It took me two to three years to voice my frustrations effectively to coaches. A lot of training is mental. You have to reflect on yourself. What am I doing? If I am performing poorly, what am I doing off the mat that might help? Am I sleeping? Am I paying attention to detail? I try to make sure my frustrations are not self-inflicted. I talk through mental health issues with our athletics counselor, DoK Woods. He helps me become a better person. He asks questions and provides some answers. Sometimes he uses small techniques like tossing note cards in the air and letting me catch them to check my reaction time. This is mental. I am telling my body to do something new, things that I had never thought of before, little things. With teammates, I accept that everyone is not in the same spot. I watch them wrestle, offer pointers and encourage them to step up. I ask them how I can help. Criticism can lead to improvement if done positively. I tell my teammates I believe in them. We don’t tear each other down.

Wrestling offers so many lessons for teaching, running a university and living a full life. At UVU, my hope is that students, faculty and staff can remember to embrace our “suffering” as well as our many opportunities. We build student success one day at a time. We must communicate better and build one another up. We need to stay healthy, physically and mentally. We can accomplish things we’ve never done before because we are willing to try the new and unfamiliar. We need to understand the concept of time -- when speed is critical and when slower, more methodical effort is needed. We are building a great enterprise and doing it together as a community. We will keep doing the right things, wrestle well and look forward to victories ahead.