Verified by 
Research suggests that the effects are different when you savor something rather than just do something. For example, researchers Bryant and Veroff (2007) found that people who took daily “savoring walks” for a week reported greater happiness than those who went for walks as usual. Savoring, they conclude, is "an important mechanism through which people derive happiness from positive events" (Bryant and Veroff, 2007).
Intentions are most effective when they are strong and specific (Gollwitzer, 1999). Whereas a goal intention might be, "I'm going to enjoy these holidays," an implementation intention (which is much more effective) adds the details—when, where, and how you'll enjoy them (Gollwitzer, 1999). Deciding ahead of time exactly what you want to “relish with delight” enhances the likelihood that you will soak in joy from sensory, emotional, or relational experiences. It primes you to orient toward, stay awake to, and be grateful for the good stuff.
Savoring works well as long as it is paired with the complementary skill of releasing expectations—laughing it off when things go haywire or don’t play out remotely as planned. Part of savoring is embracing what is, not just what you think could be.
This holiday, choose a few distinct activities or traditions that you plan on enjoying, indulging in, and appreciating the hell out of. There may still be the usual holiday stressors—burnt cookies, stubborn arguments, exhaustion, financial troubles, pangs of loneliness or grief, whining, long lines, or broken ornaments—but you will remain steadfastly aware of the positives as well. Maybe you will be so tuned into the simple pleasures—a cup of tea, a happy hour with friends, building a snowman—that burnt cookies or long lines just won’t matter as much.
Baseema decided to savor the December afternoon when she and her children made lunch for the local homeless shelter. She would appreciate the time she and her kids spent together making sandwiches, baking cookies, and packing brown-bag lunches with treats.
Astor’s holiday season was packed with parties and overtime shifts at work. He would savor a hike or snowshoe trip on local trails every Sunday afternoon. He would breathe in the fresh, crisp air, the quiet, the expansive view through the bare trees in the forest, and the simplicity of the rhythmic crunch of leaves on the ground beneath him.
Estella and Marco decided to savor a holiday dinner date with just the two of them. Even though other parties and celebrations with other people would be nice, they would especially enjoy the easy conversation and playful flirting during their special one-on-one time.
Luke loved making a turkey for his dinner guests. He chose to savor the creative process of entertaining, decorating, and giving the meal his special touch.
Anya would savor the special afternoon where she and her family made a fire, drank hot chocolate, played jolly music, and decorated their tree in no rush at all.
Frank planned to savor Christmas morning when his kids woke up squealing, doing their happy dances in the hallway. He would make himself a rich cup of coffee and enjoy the time when his kids opened their presents with enthusiasm.
Fabienne would savor the time she spent knitting winter hats for her grandchildren. She would enjoy the warmth of her fireplace, her comfortable rocking chair, and pouring her love into gifts for the little people she loved.
Harry chose to savor his holiday work party. He would appreciate the conversation that (for once) wasn’t about deadlines and sales and efficiency and rubrics, but about being human and real and fun.
Joaquin and his three brothers were committed to savoring the The Christmas Story movie on Christmas Eve. They would relax: enjoy their pa’s meatball appetizers, the tree’s twinkling lights, and the jokes they had made fun of since they were teenagers.
This holiday, what will you choose to savor?
Copyright Erin Leyba 2016
Erin Leyba, LCSW, PhD is a psychotherapist in private practice in Chicago's western suburbs www.erinleyba.com. She is the author of Joy Fixes for Weary Parents, available now for pre-order. Follow her on Facebook or sign up for free articles about joyful living and parenting.
