Should a College Applicant ‘Friend’ an Admissions Officer?

For high school students whose college counselor is playing hooky today, I have a good idea where he or she might be: here in Baltimore, for a national conference projected to draw nearly 5,000 counselors and admissions officers. (Its formal name: the National Association for College Admission Counseling, or Nacac.)

Over the next two days, my colleague Theo Emery and I will be seeking to mine “news you can use” from some of the sessions being put on here, and to file posts on The Choice on what we’ve heard and learned.

Among the panels we’ll be attending are those offering advice on financial aid (particularly recent changes meant to simplify the maddening Fafsa form); on some good colleges for “B” and “C” high school students; and on how a child with a learning disability might best navigate the admissions process. I’m also intrigued by a panel titled “Successful Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Parents.”

While waiting for the formal program to begin at mid-afternoon today, I button-holed a few college admissions officers with a question of my own: How would you feel about a high school senior attempting to add you as a friend on Facebook?

My curiosity was prompted by a recent survey by Kaplan Prep, the test-prep company, of admissions officers at more than 400 colleges. It found that “71 percent say that they or another admissions officer at their school have received a Facebook or MySpace friend request from an applicant.”

The consensus here? Applicants tempted to go down such a road should proceed with extreme caution, at least when trying to reach out to an admissions official through a personal account.

The admissions office at The College of the Holy Cross in Massachusetts, for example, has a strict “Do Not Friend” policy, not only for its admissions officers, but also for tour guides, greeters and alumni interviewers.

“No good can come of this,” Ann Bowe McDermott, the director of admissions at Holy Cross, told me, when I asked her about the wisdom of a high school senior reaching out, via Facebook, to a college representative whom he or she might have met on campus or at a high school.

The policy is meant to protect both sides in such a transaction: to keep college representatives from exposing their personal lives to an applicant, and to prevent an applicant from inadvertently disclosing aspects of his or her outside life that, however innocuous, could negatively affect an application.

“There’s a bravado, in some cases, in the way the students have set up their accounts,” Ms. McDermott added. “I’d hate to draw conclusions about the student from that.”

Scott Myers, an admissions officer at Susquehanna University in Pennsylvania, said he recently received a “friend” request on his personal Facebook account from a prospective applicant who’d visited campus over the summer. He immediately responded, “No.”

“I don’t want it to affect my judgment,” he said. “There needs to be a line that exists between professional and personal.”

Which is not to say that admissions offices haven’t embraced the notion of social networking. Many, like Butler University in Indianapolis, have established Facebook accounts on behalf of the institution — through which prospective applicants can ask questions and interact, without inserting themselves into the personal lives of those who will ultimately be deciding whether to admit them.

And while it may seem old-fashioned to some applicants, many admissions officers can be reached directly through an e-mail address made available on the college Web site. Although, here too, Ms. McDermott has a word of cautionary advice: Approach such a message formally, like a business letter, and never begin a message with, “Hey.”

“There’s a casualness to their correspondence,” she said. “Somehow, we have to teach them etiquette for the Web.”

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This should be obvious. Facebook has expected norms, anyone who friends an admissions office is doing something they shouldn’t. To me its about as obvious as not picking up a phone in an interveiw

I have a couple of thoughts about this. First of all, friending on Facebook has become ubiquitous, and thoughtless. The students doing so with their would-be admissions officers are probably not thinking of the possible negative ramifications. In addition, the student might think the admissions officer’s Facebook page is their public one, as increasingly faculty and staff have a Facebook presence for the benefit of their students. But I don’t believe the admissions officer has to respond “no”; simply ignoring the request is enough.

It is not that this generation students has used a certain “bravado” (more like arrogance mixed with plebeian taste) merely to create their Facebook accounts; it is that their lives simply lack the pursuit of meaning and preference posturing over substance.

I would come to the exact opposite conclusions. The fact that Admissions officers have not yet incorporated the primary communication channel used by this generation of high school students into their roles shows a very conservative approach to admissions. The fact that they actively discourage using social networking in the admissions process is reprehensible.

Admissions officers – and all other adults out there – need to learn about how Social Networking is used and begin to incorporate into their jobs. I would recommend this video as an overview of why this is important: //www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIFYPQjYhv8

I agree that the practice of “friending” a college admissions specialist is dangerous ground. However, there are colleges that are increasing their presence formally and informally in social networking sites–not just to keep alums and current students in the loop, but also to informally attract students. I think this is equally dangerous, and prospective undergrads potentially receive mixed messages in such cases.

E-mail is “old fashioned”?

Sheesh…..

We’ll eagerly await your report on good colleges for “B” and “C” student. Thanks for covering this whole topic for us first-timers.

The reaction of the admissions officers to this question does not surprise me at all. If the college itself has a profile or page, friend-requesting or becoming a fan of that page is great. But just like I would find it inappropriate to invite a hiring manager out to drinks with you and your friends after a job interview, I find friend-requesting admissions officers to be inappropriate. Regardless of how well your prospective student visit went, the admissions officials and school employees you met during that visit are not your friends; they are people with whom you have a professional sort of relationship. People need to know the boundaries of those relationships.

I think people sometimes fail to put enough emphasis on the “social” part of “social networking.” If it would be inappropriate to ask a person to have drinks over the weekend or go to a concert with you or otherwise socialize in a casual, personal setting, then you probably shouldn’t be adding that person as a “friend” to your personal Facebook account. If you would feel weird inviting them to a party at your house with your friends, think twice about adding them to your social network. That seems like common sense to me. I realize that I may be old-fashioned here–being that I’m 26 and therefore a Facebook geezer, since I actually remember Facebook being just a procrastination-aiding student website on which some students could interact with some other students from those select schools to which access had been granted, instead of the all-consuming excessive-connection monster it is now–but that’s my view.

I would like to add that this policy would go for all university and college admissions – not just undergraduate programs. If you’re applying to Law School, Med, B-School and because you’re older or a “professional” it still isn’t a good idea to “friend” during the admissions process.

Today’s world is much too confusing. i was admitted to a major state university on the strength of my essay– not by legacy, or by my 2.0 GPA, or money (I had none, and no parents). Tuition was less than $1,000 a year, not that long ago. In Westwood.

The “higher education” dilemma of today’s world is the most challenging to any parent..

I’m really chagrined by the level of informality that teenagers and young adults approach formal or professional settings. Applying to college and interacting with the admissions officers is a professional event, in case no one has mentioned that. The idea that a person you don’t know, who is applying to your select college, would address you in an email letter with “hey..” ( or worse, not bother to capitalize anything), is really annoying. And, no, you don’t ‘friend’ a person who does not know you, is not your friend, and is in a position to determine your fate.

Aren’t parents teaching their kids these small lessons in web etiquette?! It’s the equivalent of going to a nice restaurant and smacking your gum and wiping your hands on your shirt.

Who really is idiotic enough to do something like this? Are kids really that stupid? I fear for the future (in almost all regards)…

Hey Ms. McDermott,
In the end it is they who will be teaching us about ‘etiquette for the Web’. I am quite sure that no disrespect is intended. And of course we are free to choose to friend or not.

This is wise advice for anyone in the business world as well. I have not and will not ‘friend’ any colleague. This invades my personal space and could impact how we view each other. It could even potentially and negatively impact our business relationship. Better to keep it friendly without becoming friends.

Having graduated with a B.S. in Economics and a minor in Business, my recommendation is to skip college completely and learn a trade.

Starve the beast.

You don’t have to attend college to educate yourself.

Thank you for writing about this.

The Facebook concept of “friend” is completely superficial and rather immature. Just how much of a friendship does one develop on these sites?

Some Facebook members list 500 or more”friends” on their pages.

Students looking to make headway into college admissions would fare better using their imagination and smarts rather than clicking a mouse.

It’s amazing how fast the world is changing when there exist students who think “friending” an admissions officer would be a good idea and an email message is considered “old fashioned”. But then again, it may be just make admission decisions easier for admission officers. At some point, students have to realize that actions have consequences.

It shows a lack of judgment on the applicant’s part that they would consider trying to friend an admissions officer.

I work for a large international company and frequently assist in recruiting efforts and interviewing. I’ve had candidates try and friend me afterwards and it’s absolutely inappropriate. In fact, when this happens I have a hard time not letting even the fact that they sent the request negatively impact my impression of the candidate.

Students should proceed with caution. Professional and admissions represenatives are not your friends.

I’m sure some of it is accidental — students using that Facebook feature where it attempts to friend everyone in your email contacts list.

Before we start getting too judgmental and too fearful about the future, we should understand that high school students come from a completely different generation in terms of electronic communications. They are probably not into leaving calling cards on silver trays with the butler; they may never have mailed a letter in their lives. Labelling reflects a lack of understanding, and a regrettable lack of sympathy.

I absolutely agree that it crosses boundaries for a prospective student to attempt to “friend” a college admissions rep. They are not friends, nor will they ever have a friendship. However, if it is crossing boundaries for students to friend admissions personnel, it is also inappropriate for schools, either officially or through using other student guides to examine prospective students’ social network sites.

Holy Cross’ policy really only extends to its tour guides and admissions representatives. They do effectively use social networking sites.

Holy Cross’ Facebook fan page has become a tool for them to share on campus news and notable achievements (I found this article through my Facebook news feed, it was posted by Holy Cross). Holy Cross athletics has several different twitter feeds (I am not sure if the school itself has one or not). In this article the admissions director merely responds to.

As for Jonathan, email etiquette is important. If sexybabe69 sent an admissions director an email with abbreviations and lacking proper structure, it would reflect poorly on her. It is like a job interview, put your best foot forward.

Anyone who cant be bothered to properly write a letter (e-mail) of any sort probably wont take the time or effort to actually do work once they are accepted.

By the way, I am a current Holy Cross student that got in by properly addressing all my communications with the school. I currently follow my school through a twitter feed, a Holy Cross Facebook page, and through several e-mail communications that are sent to me daily.

Melissa W., Sacramento September 24, 2009 · 2:52 pm

I dealt with this from a different perspective. I was a teaching associate at a large university here in California and I would have a lot of students try to add me as Facebook friends. Besides the fact that it could be a conflict of interest, I liked keeping my personal life and professional life separate. I think the same principle would apply here. With college admissions as tight as they are now, even the appearance of favoritism isn’t ok. Hence the need for panels such as: “Successful Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Parents.”

Yo, Jonny. Go ahead and start all your professional letters with “Hey” and see how far you get. While no disrespect may be intended with informality, much stupidity is apparent.

I think the admissions officers should be grateful when they receive an inappropriate or informal request or correspondence. It is another weapon to help weed out the misfits.