Draft is a series about the art and craft of writing.
After J. K. Rowling admitted that she, and not a military veteran named “Robert Galbraith,” wrote the new mystery novel “The Cuckoo’s Calling,” The New York Times asked several writers to choose a hypothetical pen name and describe what kind of book they might write under — or perhaps behind — that name. (Note: This informal survey was conducted before any of them had a chance to consider “Carlos Danger” as an option.)
André Aciman
The author, most recently, of the novel “Harvard Square.”
PEN NAME: Valerie Scott Smythe, a writer for a fashion magazine based in Oshkosh, Wis.
GENRE: Romance.
Ms. Smythe’s latest novel, “Stella Goes Stellar,” is a semi-erotic sequel to her previous best seller, “Lucy Goes Lunar,” and picks up where the preschool teacher with sadomasochistic tendencies takes up bondage and time traveling with a vampire holding a giant wizard’s wand.
Lydia Davis
The author, most recently, of “Our Village,” in the chapbook “Two American Scenes.”
PEN NAME: Percy.
GENRE: Memoir, of sorts.
For some months, a few years ago, I was planning to write a little book from the point of view of our cat Percy. It would center on his annoyance with our cat Tom. Percy was very smart, and Tom was a gentle, dreamy,
affectionate soul. I took many floor-level photos of situations that interested Percy, and I wrote many sentences to accompany them in Percy’s disdainful voice. I haven’t completely given up on it.
Ben Fountain
The author, most recently, of the novel “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk.”
PEN NAME: B. E. Fountainhead.
GENRE: Nonfiction.
“Looking Good and Feeling Fine: The Banking Industry Since 2009” tells the remarkable story of the “too-big-to-fail” banks’ valiant struggle to return to record profits so that they might continue, in the words of the Goldman Sachs chairman Lloyd Blankfein, to do “God’s work.”
Carl Hiaasen
The author, most recently, of the novel “Bad Monkey.”
PEN NAME: Rick O’Mortis.
GENRE: Fantasy.
I envision a series of vampire-romance novels set at an assisted-living facility in post-apocalyptic Boca Raton, Fla. Perhaps there could also be trolls and pythons. I’m already pitching it to HBO as a high-concept mini-series, so please don’t spill the beans!
Anne Lamott
The author, most recently, of “Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers.”
PEN NAME: Dr. Morris Fishback. This has been my pseudonym for over 40 years, based on misremembering a name from the movie “A Thousand Clowns.”
GENRE: Health and wellness.
“The Royal Baby Diet Book,” which would include chapters on “Eating a Tiny Bit Less,” “Getting a Tiny Bit More Exercise” and “Visualizing Greatness.”
Stacy Schiff
The author, most recently, of “Cleopatra: A Life.”
PEN NAME: P. G. Wodehouse.
GENRES: Satire and how-to.
If the ability to write crackling humor is part of the deal, a comedy of manners. No promises, but my mother-in-law might just find herself in there. If comic timing isn’t part of the package but the federal witness-protection program is, a how-to book about reducing your anxiety, e-mail and carbon footprint by watching stupid cat videos.
Rebecca Skloot
The author of “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.”
PEN NAME: Rhoda Stokol.
GENRE: Children’s literature.
“The Average Dog” is the story of a dog who wrote a best-selling book about animal intelligence. After watching her owner struggle to write the book herself for years, the dog stayed up nights with bowls of coffee, rewriting her owner’s horrible drafts. The story blew open on national television when, instead of performing her usual trick of simply turning on the laptop as instructed, the dog typed her name: Rhoda Stokol.
John Wray
The author, most recently, of the novel “Lowboy.”
PEN NAME: I write under a pseudonym already, so I suppose the equivalent would be to publish a book under my real name, John Henderson.
GENRE: Memoir.
I’m thinking of something along the lines of “Child of Disgruntlement: The John Henderson Story.” Actually, maybe I’ll hold on to that pen name a little while longer.