16 Ways to Fake a Clean Home — Fast
Go from cluttered mess to ordered bliss in minutes
Need to clean up in a hurry? Whether you're expecting guests, the guests just left, or you want to at least pretend that yours is a life of clean and ordered bliss, pick a task, any task, for quick tips to fix your place up fast.
1
Media Platforms Design Team
Master Bathroom
With its jumble of makeup, medicines, towels, and more, your bathroom hardly inspires a relaxing get-ready routine. To streamline supplies, start with a deep clean: Shed expired and unused items as well as bulky packaging (instead, store products in easy-in-and-out jars, bags, and baskets). Leave everyday essentials — hand soap, toothbrushes — on the counter. Outfit cabinets with handy holders: a back-of-the-door rack for hair tools and a lazy Susan to bring bottles to the front.
2
Media Platforms Design Team
2. Put the Living Room in Order
Run a microfiber cloth over the coffee table and other dusty surfaces, like the TV screen. Pile magazines or books into neat stacks on the end tables; gather all of the stray remotes in one place. Plump up throw pillows and chair cushions (even easier: flip the latter, if possible). Use a clean corner of the microfiber cloth to nab any obvious clumps of pet hair or dust stuck to upholstery or carpeting. Drape throws to hide dingy chair arms or furniture stains.
3
Media Platforms Design Team
3. Speed-Clean the Mudroom
Dry dirt is easier to remove than sticky mud, so don't even bother cleaning until the footprints get crusty; then just open the back door and sweep it all out. Wash the floor the fast, no-bucket-necessary way, with either a water-dampened microfiber mop or an all-in-one mopping system like Swiffer WetJet. Zap any scuff marks as you go with a bit of baking soda on a damp sponge.
4Media Platforms Design Team
4. Think Sink
Stop pretending you're going to rinse those dishes piling up on the counter, and load them in the dishwasher (or if not, at least stack them neatly in the sink). Run some water over drippy detergent bottles, then stick those, pot scrubbers, and rubber gloves under the sink.
5Media Platforms Design Team
Cleaning an oven
6Media Platforms Design Team
6. De-hair the Chairs
Don't waste your time with a lint roller. Instead, don a pair of clean rubber gloves. Run your hands over the arms, seat, and back of the furniture, gathering and tossing the fur as it balls up. For water-safe upholstery (which doesn't change or transfer color when blotted with a damp cloth in a hidden spot), wet the gloves for better pickup.
7Media Platforms Design Team
7. Overhaul the Front Hall
Grab a laundry basket, storage bin, or large shopping bag to serve as a junk receptacle, plus a plastic grocery bag and microfiber cloth. Load up your bin with any shoes, gloves, or hats that litter the foyer. Stash hall-table clutter that could get lost (mail, keys) in the plastic bag; put the bag into the bin. While you're near the door, shake doormats outside. Drop off the bin in the laundry room or a nearby bedroom, or hide it in a closet.
8Media Platforms Design Team
Stack Smart
If at all possible, don't nest your frequently used cookware — you'll waste time sifting through for the right size and wind up with scratches and dents. If you just don't have enough space to unstack, protect pots with paper plates nestled between them. Don't skip this tip: Usually used to cushion glassware, rubberized shelf liners (such as the Container Store's $3-a-roll Easy Liner) can protect pots, pans, servers, and more from damage — and your nerves from noise. Cooper-Core 6-qt. sauté pan, $390, 3-qt. sauté pan, $315, and 3-qt. saucepan, $310, All-Clad; Macy's, macys.com.
9Media Platforms Design Team
Home-Office Overhaul
10Media Platforms Design Team
10. Fireplace Fix
After the ash is completely cold, sprinkle it with damp tea leaves or coffee grounds to cover the stale smell and keep down dust (so you don't inhale it). Then scoop the pile with a fireplace shovel (don't worry if you can't get it all — leaving an inch or two behind is fine), and dump it into a metal can, bucket, or even an old stockpot or clay flowerpot. Discard the mess outside, ideally in a metal trash container, but definitely away from your house.
11Media Platforms Design Team
11. Hide the Stains
Maybe the covering is a little worse for the wear, too. Have your kids cut out paper snowflakes to discreetly tape over problem areas. Scatter a few extras, so the look seems intentional. If all else fails, set serving trivets on top.
12Media Platforms Design Team
12. Fluff Up the Carpet
GHRI gives top marks to the Woolite Pod tool from Bissell ($4.39, woolitecarpet.com for info), which cleans and fluffs fibers in minutes. Also, see previous rug fix for wood floors.
13Media Platforms Design Team
13. Fix Up the Walls
Your best bet: A stain-repair stick like Minwax Blend-Fil Pencil in a close hue (assorted colors, $4.49 each, minwax.com for details). It's like concealer for your baseboard's blemishes. Second best: A Crayola marker can help stained-wood boards.
14Media Platforms Design Team
14. Get the Nicks Out
You've got two choices: Marker it or cover it. For the former, try the GHRI's favorite furniture markers, the Guardsman Touch-Up Marker Kit ($4.50 for three, guardsman.com). Apply to scratch, buff with a soft cloth, and top with a coat of furniture polish. Or just institute your own cover-up: For coffee or end tables, arrange books, coasters, or nibbles on top, or drape with a nice scarf. For the dining room table, need we even say it? Haul out that holiday tablecloth.
15Media Platforms Design Team
15. Fake a Super-Clean Bathroom
Tuck stuff from the vanity into the cabinet or drawers, and close the shower door or stretch out the curtain (sure, nosy guests may still snoop inside, but at least you've cut down on visual clutter). Clean up spots and hair from the floor with a water-dampened paper towel. Finally, put out fresh hand towels.
16Media Platforms Design Team
16. Make It Easier Next Time
Add a shoe bag to the inside of your entryway closet door: It makes a great stash spot for hats and gloves, unopened mail, and (yep) shoes when you're picking up in a hurry.
17
9 Cleaning Tasks You Can Tackle in 5 Minutes
These are 9 cleaning tasks you can tackle in just 5 minutes! From getting the stink out of the sink to finally getting all that animal hair off your favorite chair, try these tricks and get you home cleaned up!
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
The Best Mops
The Best Toilet Bowl Cleaners
How to Remove Mildew From Every Surface
Best Stain Removers for Clothes
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below