Patents! They are often completely fucking insane. But here's my question about this one, "Apparatus for Facilitating the Birth of a Child by Centrifugal Force:" it'd work on helping me poop, too, right?
Yes, this is an elaborate contraption that you would strap a pregnant woman to who was about to give birth. It would then spin her around at a rate that would pull that baby right on out of her without her having to do as much work. What could possibly go wrong?!
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Sadly, since this patent is from way back in 1965, it doesn't appear to have ever become a reality. Not yet, at least. I'm looking at you, terrible doctors. [USPTO via Boing Boing]