Big Ass Fans endorses another ass for president
Still undecided?
Big Ass Fans has a "ride-in" candidate for president in the 2016 election.
Big Ass Solutions, which says it makes “the world’s best fans, lights and control systems with an emphasis on energy efficiency,” is offering up its so-called mascot and faith healer, Fanny the donkey, as a “ride-in candidate” for President of the United States.
Fanny will even be on the UNLV grounds for the October 19 debate “trying to rile up the crowd,” the company said.
According to a release, the “last straw” in Fanny’s “highly personal decision-making journey” was the September 26 debate.
“Like so many other viewers, she watched, but could not muster enthusiasm for either performer. She became convinced that something was missing,” the release said. “Knowing that America is a nation hungry for authenticity, Fanny realized that her time is now. She’s heard people express opinions about the other candidates and feels she represents a true alternative for Americans — a genuine ass.”
And so the ass puns begin.
A video announcing her candidacy calls Fanny a “fine ass candidate” and a “jackass of all trades” while asking Americans to “make history and vote for a real ass.”
Her slogan invites voters to “Join Team Ass.”
And consumers can request a free Fanny for President bumper sticker that says, “My candidate is a real ass.”
According to a rep, who also called himself one of Fanny’s political advisors, about 2,500 people have reached out about bumper stickers to date.
What’s more, on a website outlining her platform, Fanny notes she “thinks the Libertarian candidate can’t tell his ass from a hole in the ground.”
It’s pretty much par for the course for a company led by a man whose title is Chief Big Ass.
But it doesn’t end there.
Per the campaign site, Fanny’s stance on the issues is “ON ALL F@*#ING FOURS!”
But, according to the rep/advisor, Americans will learn much more about Fanny and where she stands as the brand rolls out additional content. In the meantime, Fanny has elaborated on jobs, national security, education, housing, physical fitness and parks on the Fanny for President website, which also notes she has:
- Never voted for war;
- Never declared bankruptcy;
- Never had an email account, private or otherwise;
- And never been cozy with Wall Street donors…
Content also includes a video playing off of Trump’s stamina comment from the September 26 debate and an attempt to “[go] after the youth vote” with a Gangnam Style parody, Donkey Style.
“We’re creating more videos…at UNLV that will be available via Twitter and the site,” the rep/advisor said as the brand does man-on-the-street interviews “trying to generate awareness around Fanny’s campaign.”
In addition, the release noted, “Fanny urges everyone who feels alienated by the current campaign to show their support by adding the hashtag #Vote4theAss in their social media posts.”
The rep/advisor said the brand has seen a bump of about 500 followers in the last couple of weeks.
And, of course, the brand implores voters to tell the world, "I'm voting for an ass," with Fanny 2016 merchandise, including an Official Team Ass t-shirt, which Big Ass Fans says is “naturally harvested from the nests of bald eagles for maximum patriotism,” and an Official Team Ass hat “because nothing says ‘functioning democracy’ quite like having ‘TeamAss’ emblazoned on your forehead.”
Her site also includes dispatches from the “campaign tail," including a note that Fanny is endorsed by the Western Pack Burro Ass-ociation, which the campaign lumps under “fantasstic news.”
In addition to generating awareness and playing off of the popularity of the election, the rep/advisor said “it’s also to satirically point out the absurdity of the past twelve months, which truly does demonstrate that any ass can run for office, including Fanny.”