Here are the articles for this month:
* To help or not? Become a coach instead
* Teaching children to be systematic - one step in cognitive self-regulation
* My child is considered 'lower functioning'. How can I possibly work on self-regulation?
* Every family and service agency needs this - AuKids Magazine
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To help or not? Become a coach instead
I came across a research article that really made me think. It was entitled: "When Helping Hurts: Children Think Groups That Receive Help Are Less Smart." In the study, preschool children were shown short video animations. In them, an 'expert' offered help to one group of children because it looked like they needed it. For the other group, the expert said, "Looks like you don't need help. I'll come watch you." Children watching the video were asked how smart they thought the groups in the video were. They were significantly more likely to say the group that received help was less smart.
Intuitively, I knew this was true. I've worked with and observed enough children to know this is the way things go. But we know that helping someone can improve their success.
The study showed that helping can serve as a social stigma. Other children believe that, if you get help, you aren't as smart. The helper-child relationship is inherently unequal. The helper is the authority. The child is seen as being unlikely to succeed on their own.
This is at the core of my passion for improving behavioral, cognitive, and emotional self-regulation in children. If they learn to self-regulate and make more decisions on their own, they won't need us hovering so closely around them. Then other people won't think they're 'less smart'.
But teachers, therapists, and assistants are hired to help students. What does this mean for day to day practices at home, in therapy settings, and in schools?
For starters, it’d help if everyone viewed themselves as coaches. Like coaches, we need to:
- Teach children foundation skills.
- Make sure each child has a basic understanding of the goals and skills needed in each activity.
- Practice step-by-step with the children.
- Let the children try out the skills on their own.
- Continue to encourage and remind from the sidelines.
- Allow the children to experience some failures. That’s part of learning.
- Help each child refine and advance their skills.
How could this work in traditional settings? At home, in therapy, and at school:
- Teach the children behavioral, cognitive, and emotional self-regulation skills. That’ll help them manage their own learning more effectively.
- Set up a rule that getting help is the smart thing to do. It means you want to learn more. Praise children when they ask for assistance.
- Don't single out children who need help. Instead, work with them in private.
- In group settings, give help to all children. Every child can improve how they do things.
The coach mindset can help us make good strides in reducing the stigma many of our children experience. Teach foundation skills and then learn to stand back.
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Teaching children to be systematic - one step in cognitive self-regulation
Children, especially those with learning discrepancies, need to develop thinking skills at the executive function level. That is, they need to learn cognitive self-regulation.
The first area we address is being systematic. That means doing one thing at a time and working from beginning to end. Explain to them that, by being systematic, we won't miss anything. A lot of our children don't know where to start. They don't systematically work on one thing and then the next. And they don't know when they're done. These are the focus of being systematic.
Teach children to figure out where to start an activity. In the beginning, they need help. I like to place a green 'go' dot in the upper left hand side as the place we always start*. Then they learn to complete one step before moving to the next - always moving left to right and top to bottom*. Put a red dot at the end so they know when they’re done.
Most children find it challenging to have a lot of tasks in front of them. Prompt them to cover up the rest of the activity if it overloads them. Comment: "It looks like that's hard for your eyes. How about we cover some of them up?" Sticky notes are perfect for covering up anything that's distracting them. I've found that most children ask for sticky notes once they've tried them. They've told me it really helps them stay focused. It’s a small investment for improved attention and learning.
Another important helper is the 'finder finger'. Tell students that they've already got something to help them work systematically ... and it's attached to their hand. It's their index finger. Index fingers can point to things and track along a line to help their eyes (and brains) stay focused.
When you look at being systematic and these simple strategies, you can see how they help children gain control over their executive functions.
- Planning and organization are enhanced by teaching children where to start, how to move on to the next item, and how to tell when they're done.
- Inhibitory control is improved by teaching children how to proceed from one thing to the next, from beginning to end. Children overcome impulses to stop and/or jump around to other items.
- Working memory is improved by having to remember what they're trying to accomplish, what they did on the items before, and what didn't work. They learn to remember information that's important to new items. Also, they find how clearing old unhelpful information out of their memory bank can make it easier to think.
- Self-monitoring skills are developed as children make sure they keep moving along with the task, left to right and top to bottom - right up to the end. They also learn to make sure they’re not repeating the same unhelpful strategies again and again.
- Cognitive flexibility is developed as children shift from item to item and task to task. They have to switch from one thing to another and keep their thinking flexible.
* of course, the direction would be right to left for Arabic, Hebrew, Urdu, and Sindhi speakers.
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Q: My child is considered 'lower functioning'. How can I possibly work on self-regulation?
A: Grrrrrr, I so dislike it when children are labelled as 'low' or 'high' functioning. It's really annoying and can get in the way of finding the best in children.
That aside, let's look at where you can start.
Making choices is a great place. Your child undoubtedly has preferences for things to eat, drink, play with, etc. Self-regulation is learning to make decisions for yourself. That's where choices come in.
If you find your child will accept just about anything you offer, let's give them the option of a preferred thing and a dud. By 'dud', I mean something that your child wouldn't choose at the best of times. Let's say they're thirsty, offer them two options - a cup of juice and a sock. The sock is the 'dud' - not something they'd choose. Prompt with: "You choose." Then praise the choice - "Good choice. Now you can drink."
Remember to put just a wee bit of drink in the cup so they come back for another round.
If that went smoothly, try it a few more times. Give them a break. Then try two more similar options, say juice versus water. Just make sure that one is something they usually like more. Prompt: "You choose. Which one do you want?"
Extend making choices to other drinks, food, toys, clothing, places to visit ... and so on. Do choices a few times a day. We want to keep choice-making fresh and positive.
The more often you can get your child to choose, the more self-regulation they're learning. They're making decisions on their own .... and you're listening.
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Every family and service agency needs this
I'm a big fan of AuKids magazine that comes out of the UK. 
It's one of the richest and most accessible resources I've found. They address important issues in highly readable ways. The co-editor, Debby Elley, is the parent of twins with autism who provides perspective and good humour to the journey.
Have a look for yourself and subscribe or give a subscription to someone who needs a boost.
Disclaimer: yes, I do contribute to AuKids from time to time purely on a voluntary basis. I think it's that good.
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s Guide to Autistic Behavior: What, why and how to help - practical guide that lets teachers and others who care about autistic children:
k* - our evidence-based program that teaches behavioral, cognitive and emotional self-regulation to children between two and eight years of age. It contains 44 lessons and access to 77 resource files, printable materials, newsletters, and internet resources.
Autistic Child's Guide - Presenting spark*EL - our stand-alone upward extension of the spark* model for children between nine and 14 years of age. It contains 23 lessons and access to 40 resource files, printable materials, newsletters and internet resources.
egulation in Everyday Life - a step-by-step guide for every parent who wants to help their child be better prepared for school and life. It helps parents shift from teaching specific behaviors to working on foundation skills in body, cognitive and emotional self-regulation in everyday situations. This book includes checklists to identify self-regulation needs and progress and helpful guidelines for determining expectations at each age level. It also provides access to resource materials, illustrations and internet resources.
