Second marriages a rocky road for many

AUSTRALIANS are willing to take a second chance at love, with almost one-fifth of weddings involving a partner who has been married before. However, while only a third of first marriages end in divorce, the figure rises to 60 per cent for second marriages.

Relationships Australia vice president Anne Hollonds said re-partnering later in life was more complex than a first-time marriage.

‘‘There is always emotional baggage, there are often children involved. It’s not as simple and straightforward as two people coming together with no history. It involves taking two families and attempting to join them together as one. It takes a lot of effort to make that relationship work.’’

Many second-timers find it too difficult to manage issues such as conflict over finances, former partners and stepchildren.

‘‘People bring all of that into the marriage and it makes for a very rocky journey,’’ she said. ‘‘Ultimately many people decide it’s just too hard and the relationship breaks down.’’

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, of the 116,322 marriages in Australia in 2007, 20,023 involved one partner who had been married before; in 15,952 marriages, both partners had previously wed.

Ms Hollonds said the figures showed people were still willing to take another trip down the aisle, although not all had learnt from experience.

‘‘We’re not terribly good at reflecting easily on what we might have done to contribute to problems in a marriage, and there is a tendency to blame the other person and assume that life would be better with someone else,’’ she said.

Lisa and Graham Brissett had given up on love until they found each other. Lisa, 42, had a brief relationship in her 20s that resulted in the birth of a son, now 22. She then went on to marry another man and had two children with him, now aged 16 and 12.