How to Have a Threesome (Kinda)

When it comes to fantasies, you can't get much kinkier than a threesome. But experts agree that engaging in one can totally wreck your relationship. Clinical sexologist Patti Britton, PhD, cofounder of SexCoachU.com, shared sexy ideas to satisfy that dream in a fun and harmless way.

Have a sultry conversation with your guy about bringing a third person into the boudoir. Lead into it by playfully saying, "Let's try something fun and different tonight." Then take turns vividly describing a hot scenario. When you imagine yourself performing a sexual act, your brain actually goes through the same mental process it would if you were actually doing it. That, in turn, triggers physical arousal. The more details you use, the more engaged your brain becomes, and the stronger your body's response.

Part of the erotic appeal of a threesome is the fact that somebody is watching you get it on. Channel that exhibitionist effect by leaving the blinds open and getting frisky right in front of the window.

To harness that "other person" excitement of a three-way, try role-play where one of you is your normal self and the other plays a character. For example, while your guy's "out of town," a repairman comes to the house and you end up doing it on the kitchen floor. Or your man goes to get a massage, and the masseuse (you) starts stroking him in a kinky way.

Putting on porn makes it kinda feel like there's someone else in the room with you. You can watch the first half of the film and then carry out the rest of the plot on your own, use the movie as a launching pad to spark a sexy discussion about which character turned you on most and what you'd do to him or her, or just leave it on in the background during sex. A good method for finding a movie that you'll be into (meaning not overly raunchy or fetishistic) is to focus on videos created by female directors, who have more of a feminine sensibility. A few sites to check out: msnaughty.com, candidaroyalle.com, blueartichokefilms.com, and petrajoy.com.

Bringing a vibrator between the sheets lets you experience 360-degree sensations, which is one of the attractions of a threesome. Hold it against your guy's nipples or perineum while you're giving him oral pleasure, or ask him to press it against your clitoris or backdoor during intercourse for twice as much stimulation.

A super effective way to look and feel like a totally different person is wearing a wig, and since Halloween's around the corner, you can get them almost anywhere. Pick one that's the opposite of your normal hair—long, dark locks if you have a short bob or vice-versa. Or, just dress out of character, like putting on something super vampy if you're usually preppy.

Watching your significant other get off with someone else is partly what makes a three-way so taboo. To hint at that voyeurism, set up a mirror near your bed or have doggie-style sex leaned over the bathroom sink so you can see your reflections.

Want to raise the stakes even more? Get busy in a semi-public setting. Park your car on a side street and go at it in the back seat. Sit in the back row at the movies, and discreetly go down on him. Do it in a restaurant bathroom or a spare room at a party, where you can hear the hubbub of the crowd in the background.

If you feel ready to really push some boundaries, try this wild idea: Go to a high-end strip club together and order a lap dance. A few ground rules: Have a conversation with your guy beforehand about your expectations, and explain that it's a fun way to spice things up for the two of you, not something that will lead to sex play with the dancer. And keep in mind that it's natural for him to get turned on by her—which is why it's so important that you feel confident this is something you're doing for your sex life as a couple. Also, if it's appealing to you, consider getting the lap dance yourself instead of your guy being the recipient. It ensures you'll feel like you're a part of the action, while he gets to take in the sizzling view.