People have treasured proverbs for a very long time, which is perhaoswhy they put so many of them in the Bible.
Pithy nuggets of wisdom – what’s not to love? Except that some proverbs simply don’t make sense, or are so contorted that their wisdom has deflated by the time you’ve actually figured the proverb out.
The following selections, from Yale’s “Dictionary of Modern Proverbs,” published last month, completely befuddled me. Sure, there might be wisdom in there somewhere. But then again, there might be wisdom in “Jackass,” too.
A singing army is invincible.
When you’re up to your ass in alligators, it’s hard to remember you’re there to drain the swamp.
It’s better to belch the belch and bear the shame than squelch the belch and bear the pain.
A bird may love a fish, but where would they live?
Dead birds don’t fall out of nests. Don’t dance in a small boat.
When six eyes meet, the story is over.
A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.
Close your eyes and think of England.
Everyone thinks his own farts smell sweet.
Monkeys in hard times eat red peppers.
Don’t tug on Superman’s cape.
Never get caught with a dead girl or a live boy.
The plural of anecdote is data.
Huh?
