As an underclassmen at Ohio University, you likely are familiar with the various hills that connect the university’s residence halls with uptown, but what about the many hills traversed by students in Athens Ohio rental houses and apartments?
Here’s a primer of some of the main hills you will come to respect and/or fear (or love, depending on which way you’re going) while living in off-campus housing. (We’ll also include brief summaries of some of the hills you’re already familiar with from living in Ohio University housing.)
A Refresher on OU Campus Hills
Jeff Hill(the main route from OU’s East Green to uptown): This is the most notorious of campus climbs; if it were any steeper, you’d need a ladder to climb it. Jeff Hill is, alas, the most direct route uptown for many students on the East and South greens. Unfortunately, since being paved in 2010, sliding down on cafeteria trays in the winter is no longer an option unless you want to be hit by oncoming traffic (and in any event, OU dining halls retired their cafeteria trays a few years ago anyway). Beware, late-night, under-aged uptown partiers. Over the years, the OU Police have learned to wait at the bottom of the hill as students come stumbling home. Many a drunken underclassmen has been busted for public intox or disorderly conduct at this notorious spot.
Morton (or Shively) Hill(another route uptown to Alden Library/Baker Center/College Green from the East and South greens): This is a little less steep but more crowded. Once you’ve avoided the throng of students attempting to cross the four-way crosswalk near the library, you learn to dodge the impatient automobile drivers (and their vehicles) who’ve been stuck at the stop sign for a day and a half trying to find a path through the river of students.
Bryan Hill (a third route uptown from the east side of campus): A secluded stairway that leads to the back of Bryan Hall, this scenic walk takes you past all sorts of funky stuff. A favorite route for students up to no good. The bloodthirsty gargoyles that guard this hill occasionally do raise some concerns.
Seigfred Hill: This stairway isn’t used that often by dorm dwellers, though it has its advantages. For one, you can creep on classrooms as you walk past, struggling up the stairway (or just say the hell with it and take the Seigfred elevator).
Old Richland Avenue Bridge(the primary route from the West Green to uptown): This bottleneck across the old river channel used to be a good place to play pranks on friends and enemies: When a big truck would roll past, students would give their targeted adversary a playful push off the sidewalk. A big bridge project a couple years ago resulted in a concrete wall protecting pedestrians on the street side of the sidewalk. So one more fun thing goes by the wayside.
Baker Center: The student center has the only moving hill in Athens. Really. You just stand on it and it moves. AKA, an escalator. Campus pervs also use the escalators to look up the dresses of ascending females. If you see this happening, push them down the escalator.
Off-Campus Housing Hills
Second Street Hill, Washington Street Hill, West State Street Hill and West Union Street Hill. These are all hills that connect Athens’ West Side with the uptown and campus areas. All have sidewalks, though in some cases they may as well be gravel or dirt, due to lack of maintenance. The Second Street Hill is the steepest, though unless you’re a very confused student, you won’t be using this one to go uptown. The other three, however, if you live on the West Side, you’ll become very familiar with.
Mill Street Hill: If you live in the popular Palmer-Stewart-Mill street neighborhood just down the hill from uptown and campus, you’ll use this hill a lot. It’s a moderate though relatively short trek up this hill, and thankfully, your walk home from campus after an evening at the bars will be a downhill breeze.
Other outside housing hills: When you depart the dorms to your Athens Ohio rental, there’s a whole slew of new hills to get acquainted with, though by that time, you’ll have developed legs like a billy-goat and won’t notice the hills. There’s some very cool wooden stairways, including the one behind the old Athens Armory that rises to Fort Street, and one that connects West Union Street with West Washington Street.
And Don’t Forget Bong Hill…
Bong Hill: This nearly 90-degree slope dominates the view from the east windows of South Green dorms. Over the 35 years since the highway department sliced away the face of this hill for the Athens bypass, many students, dizzy from the altitude and/or mind-altering substances, have teetered at the summit of Bong Hill, playing with fate. None that we know of has fallen, though a few hardy souls have tried running down the vertical face of the hill. This hill is unique in Athens in that it’s not a means to an end or destination, but the end itself. (We’re not sure why it’s called Bong Hill, though legend has it that it was created on April 20 in some long-ago era.)