Young women on Instagram and self-esteem: 'I absolutely feel insecure'

This week, Essena O’Neill, an Australian teenager with more than half a million followers on Instagram, made headlines after announcing that she was quitting the platform because it is “contrived perfection made to get attention”.

“I remember I obsessively checked the like count for a full week since uploading it,” she wrote of her first-ever post on Instagram, a selfie that now has close to 2,500 likes. “It got 5 likes. This was when I was so hungry for social media validation … Now marks the day I quit all social media and focus on real life projects.”

We wondered: how many young women share O’Neill’s experience? So we asked several others about whether they feel pressured to appear a certain way on Instagram, and how the platform affects their self-esteem.

Michelle Linker, 24: ‘I absolutely feel insecure’

I get serious Fomo (fear of missing out) with Instagram, and with all social media. People are publicizing usually something really cool or fun that they’re doing, or at least they make it appear that way. I absolutely feel insecure.

I’m 24, I’m a young professional in Toronto, but I have had Instagram since I was in university. I do feel a pressure to look particularly good. I would never post a photo that wasn’t flattering of me.

I feel anxiety over how many likes I get after I post a picture. If I get two likes, I feel like, what’s wrong with me? Some people judge Instagram by deleting photos that don’t get enough likes. I wouldn’t do that, but I would definitely second-guess my intentions with posting them.

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Lindsay Correia, 22: ‘I like having control’

I use Instagram just to give people a glimpse into my life. And I like that I can show the parts that I want them to see and make them think I have a cooler life than I do. I like having that kind of control.

I do feel pressured to appear a certain way. I would hate for people to think: ‘She looks totally different in person.’ But I would never edit anything to make it not look like me. I definitely feel that I have to look as good when I go somewhere as I do on Instagram. I feel more pressure in real life.

I take at least 50 shots when I put up a picture, on a day I’m really dressed up, and I’ll edit it but make sure I’m true to myself. As much I sometimes want to Photoshop, I don’t.

I try not to post too many selfies because I don’t want people to think I’m super narcissistic, and I try not to post too many photos with drinks in hand. I do delete pictures that don’t get enough likes (140 likes for a selfie, on average) because I think I probably didn’t look good enough for my followers.

Madeleine, 24: ‘Without Instagram, I’m free’

I had Instagram for about a week, but that was it. Without Instagram, I don’t think that there’s a pressure to look a certain way or to be doing the right thing, or going to the right party. I’m more free, doing what I want to do as opposed to what people want to see me do.

I don’t use Instagram because I think that it’s just a superficial way for people to get validation through likes and followers. It can be a good tool if you need it for marketing or for promoting a business. But in terms of a social context, I much prefer meeting people in person.

A lot of people do things just to put them Instagram instead of actually living in the moment. When I hang out with people, that happens. People are always on their phones at dinner, or have them in front of their faces to take a selfie. It’s just not how I want to connect with people.

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Summer Andrews, 18: ‘If it doesn’t get enough likes, I take it down’

I do feel insecure if I see girls who look prettier than me, or if they post really pretty pictures, and I know I won’t look as good in any that I post. I do feel pressure to look good in the photos I put up. I don’t feel anxious about not getting enough likes on a photo but if it doesn’t get enough likes, I will take it down.

Emily Theis, 24: ‘It’s not real’

There have been times where I have felt pressured to make a photo or memory of myself look a certain way because I’m presenting it on Instagram. And yes, I have the need for attention – and to show people what I’m doing.

On Instagram it’s like I have this graveyard of people’s lives I’m paying attention to. It’s kind of like half-hearted friend making. You put yourself in a position of knowing a lot about them, but without actually knowing them.

It’s natural to compare yourself and look at someone else’s outfit or body or life. But I’ve actually been thinking a lot lately – like, there’s a good group of people who are trying not to do that. We all know that people are presenting and curating it in a certain way. You just have to know that it isn’t real, that people are standing on their chair to make sure their table looks good.

Jordan Miller, 22: ‘It can be depressing’

Sometimes when I post a photo of myself, I end up taking 20 different pictures and choosing the best one. It can get depressing at times, but I have to remind myself that I put myself in that scenario.

In the grand scheme of things, the 300 or so people I follow on Instagram, it’s not a lot of people. But because I constantly check it, it feels overwhelming. I’ve gone through who I follow, and weed things out, and try to remember that it’s not everyone in the world doing it.

I definitely am careful about what I post. I always said I wouldn’t post more than two times a day and if I’m on vacation I would post three times a day. Now I stick to that, but it’s not conscious.

Kerry Donnelly, 23: ‘I don’t generally feel insecure’

I feel pressure to look good or appear a certain way – to a certain extent. I wouldn’t post a picture where I don’t feel good about myself. But I also wouldn’t avoid posting a photo that I want to share just because I didn’t look my best.

If I post a picture (particularly of myself) and, let’s say the guy I had a crush on ‘liked’ it, of course that would affect my self-esteem in a great way. The same way it would affect my self-esteem negatively if I posted a picture of a new haircut, for example, and only received seven likes. When I see little sisters of my friends (in their late high school or early college years) posting over-filtered selfies that get 200-plus likes, I realize how silly social media really is.

Saeeda Tremaine, 23: ‘I don’t post pictures to prove anything’

I post a lot of food pictures because I love visiting new restaurants and going out to eat with friends, and I post a good amount of quotes that I find inspiring or that raise an important issue, but I don’t post pictures to prove anything to anyone.

I follow a lot of celebrities, and I know I can’t compete with their looks. When I look at pictures that friends post, I don’t feel insecure. But I do think it affects how often I will post pictures of myself. I want to make sure that my pictures look as good, if not better than the pictures that my friends post.

I don’t think Instagram affects my self-esteem. If I’m having a bad hair day or a breakout, I obviously won’t take a selfie, but if I’m having a good day, looking good and feeling good, I’ll show that through my Instagram photos. Also, my friends are usually very supportive of my selfies and they’ll post comments that reassure me that my picture looks good.

• This article was amended on 1 July 2019 to remove some personal information