Complex to Simple: Why my son is taking a gap year

Over the next few weeks, thousands of teenagers will head off to university for the first time – except our 18-year old. Despite all our encouragement, private schooling, tutoring and my “making the complex simple”, Matthew has chosen to go down a different road.

In June, Michael and I were sitting in the audience at Matthew’s grade 12 graduation. Student after student was called up to receive his diploma. As each student stood before us, their achievements and plans for the future were announced: Arts Queens. Arts Dalhousie. Science McMaster. Business Laurier. Another Queens…

Michael and I were growing worried listening to it all. What would they say about our son? You see, Matthew won’t be attending university come September. In fact, he may never go to university. And then it was Matthew’s turn:

“Matthew will be heading out on a 3-month tour of East Asia. He’ll be travelling to Beijing, Hong Kong, Vietnam, Cambodia, Bangkok, Australia and Fiji with MEI International Academy . Later in the year, he’ll be interning in California with a real estate debt and equity financing firm. Matthew will be deferring his acceptance to Western University”

There was a pause, almost a hush, in the convocation hall. One parent raised her eyebrows, and whispered to the person sitting next to her, “I never knew THAT was an option!”

Traditional schools are for showing off, not for learning

So says Dr. Peter Gray, a research professor at Boston College who writes a blog for Psychology Today entitled Freedom to Learn. When we enroll our children in high school, we enroll them into a never ending series of contests. Who is smartest? Who has the highest grades? Who wins the most awards? Winners get into the best universities, along with guaranteed spots in coveted, on-campus residences.

We see grades as measures of our children — and (let’s be brutally honest here) of ourselves, as parents.

Grades have nothing to do with learning

And yet for students whose smarts are not measured well by standardized tests and textbook learning, the system rarely bothers to think about whether students are actually learning anything.

What’s worse, the kinds of pressures we use at schools to motivate performance may actually stop students from learning altogether! Many psychological experiments have shown that contests and evaluations lead those who already learn well to perform even better — and has the opposite effect on people who don’t learn in traditional ways.

Dr. Gray believes that when students fail to learn and get good grades, they may “accept, fatalistically, a belief in their own stupidity, which may cause them to drop out of the whole process, mentally if not physically.”

Taking a gap year should be a rite of passage

While taking a gap year might not be for everyone, we see Matthew’s time abroad as a way to help circumvent his “dropping out” of the whole learning experience.

In my view, while high schools do ‘school’ very well, they do not ‘educate’ — that's just inherent in the design of the thing. Scientists are not trained in science class, politicians do not learn to govern in civic classes, and poets are not born in English classes. It's not the fault of bad teachers or too little money spent, it's just near impossible for education and schooling to be the same thing.

That's why gap years fit in so perfectly. In a recent Globe and Mail editorial, David Mulroney, president and vice-chancellor of the University of St. Michael’s College, shares our view that a gap year decision is a no-brainer (no pun intended!) for all Grade 12 grads:

“If university is about higher education, international experience – travelling, working or studying in other countries – is about broader education. It is tremendously important that young Canadians pay attention to both dimensions… Now more than ever, young Canadians need to think of the world as their classroom”

We couldn’t be more excited for Matthew’s next leg of his educational journey! Did your learning journey ever take you on a gap year?

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