6 Valentine's Day dates to love in SJ & Philly
My wife and I were sitting together watching TV the other day, and some insane Valentine’s Day-themed commercial for jewelry came on.
It featured a dude who was saying something along the lines of: gosh, he’s a total mess of a man, but somehow he won his special lady, and now he’s buying her shiny neck adornments as a sign of his everlasting appreciation.
My wife turned to me and she was like, ugh, that’s horrible.
And I was like, YES. YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND MY PLIGHT. Society’s chains, and such.
It’s easier to tell you what Valentine’s Day isn’t (a catch-all occasion to snare his or her heart with gold and silver tribulations) than what it is because we’re all using a slightly different playbook.
I’m going to pick out a card, scribble a few nice sentiments in my jilted cursive (I’m also left-handed, so I smear the ink. The end product bears a striking resemblance to something politically correct fifth-graders would exchange – everyone gets a card, we’re all each other’s Valentines), and then make reservations at a fancy Italian restaurant.
Some of you are going to receive unreasonable amounts of chocolate. Others will transact in nature (flowers).
But I think we can all agree: Valentine’s Day is a time to be thoughtful and spend time with someone we care for.
Heart-shaped pizzas a big hit in Maple Shade
I will help you do this. The spending of time together. Because I’m nice and helpful and one of your good buddies.
And, because, let’s be honest here: You’re a total mess of a man/woman and shouldn’t be left to your own devices.
(I’m winking, by the way. You can’t see me doing it because you’re reading this in the future, but I am totally winking.)
Rev the engines of the heart
If a significant component of love deals in memories, I can't think of a better way for members of a certain generation to reconnect than by hearing a band that soundtracked the relationship.
How about a definitive generational band, no less?
SJ bars have a sweet spot for Valentine's Day
When the Beach Boys weren’t busy writing songs about surfing or muscle cars, they spent time writing about love (as if the feeling conjured by a “Little Deuce Coupe” is really all that different anyway).
Best of all, you won’t have to “Get Around” very far — or even cross a bridge, for that matter — because The Boys are coming to South Jersey proper Saturday afternoon and visiting the Scottish Rite Auditorium in Collingswood.
Show time is 4 p.m., and tickets are $39.50 to $75. For more information, go to ticketmaster.com.
The couple that Shores together
A failproof strategy probably contains some of these base elements: entertainment, dining and accommodations, if applicable.
The whole food-and-shelter thing, at the end of the day. We’re all cave people to the core.
Anyone all about the one-stop shopping will be pleased to learn Resorts Casino Hotel has all the bases covered. On Saturday evening, pop icons The Gap Band hit the Superstar Theater and will go deep with their hit song parade. Show time is 9 p.m. and tickets are $25 to $50 on ticketmaster.com.
Make chocolate truffles for your true love
Then, you can sprinkle rose petals, or whatever the kids are doing these days, on one of the luxurious beds at Resorts’ Ocean or Rendezvous towers. And whether you plan to stay the night or not, don’t forget to get your foot in the door at one of the venue’s excellent restaurants, including the award-winning Capriccio ($100 per couple on V-Day itself) or Gallagher’s Steakhouse.
To learn more about your options, go to resortsac.com
Organic gifting
Still scrambling for the right present?
Of course not … You’re so plotted and organized.
Were that the case, you could check out the Eilandarts Center in downtown Merchantville, which will showcase its beautiful artwork and locally sourced gift items at a Valentine's Art Market from 4 to 9 p.m. Friday.
“Valentine’s Day is a great reason to show a friend or loved one how much they mean to you,” says Nicole Eiland, owner. “It’s also a great reason to get cozy on a winter night.”
Eilandarts shares a building with Station Coffee, so come ready for a fresh brew and a dessert or two. You also can make it a family affair with a cookie-decorating event Friday and a painting party Saturday.
The center is located at 10 E. Chestnut St. For more information, go to eilandarts.com.
Cupid gets cultured
I have somehow been able to skirt the wine-and-paint thing for years (being physically and mentally incapable of doing creative things with my hands is a pretty good system of prevention), but that kind of thing only extends so far.
For those who can’t do art, there’s always looking at art.
Break out the sports coat with the leather patches on the elbows and dust off all your fanciest words, because you’re heading to the Philadelphia Museum of Art Friday evening for a special Art after 5 — Valentine party edition.
Now, if that stirs thoughts of Ben Stiller movies — or if you are literally going to make jokes throughout the night about suits of armor coming to life and stalking in the shadows — the museum after hours is probably not your bag. But for the rest of us, the notion of a kids-free environment joined by a French prix-fixe menu, chocolate truffles, champagne cocktails, a live jazz quartet and a splash of dancing sounds like an ideal atmosphere.
Keep your calendar free from 5 to 8:45 p.m. For more information, go to philamuseum.org/artafter5.
Animal instincts
Why not take this whole extended-hours thing to its next logical conclusion and actually greet the new day in a unique destination?
The Philadelphia Zoo invites you to experience “Lovin’ on the Wild Side,” a (technically) two-day event that puts you and your partner up close and personal with the native inhabitants.
Jump into a behind-the-scenes tour of the zoo; interact with live animals; discuss how boring your jobs are by comparison during a happy hour and light dinner; and then fully commit to a sleepover with breakfast waiting for you on the other side.
The fun commences 6:30 p.m. Saturday and stretches to 9:30 a.m. Sunday. Tickets for this rare treat are $350 per couple. For more information, go to philadelphiazoo.org.
All of the classics
When you simply can accept no substitutes and nothing less than staring into the eyes of your favorite person across a candlelit table will suffice, South Jersey is sure to deliver.
We certainly don’t want for great restaurants, and you can bet they’re all rolling out the rose-red carpets this weekend.
The Madison, 33 Lafayette St. in Riverside, rotates three-course menu options each evening and also welcomes a different entertainment act for good measure. Go to themadison.net for more information.
Love is in the air at Catelli Duo, 12101 Town Center Blvd., Voorhees, where the dining choices have been intelligently selected to tie in with the holiday. Also of note: I don’t care how elevated the courses are, you’d be a fool not to finish with the Krispy Kreme bread pudding. Make your reservation at catelliduo.com.
Or, if you’re literally the last stop on the word-of-mouth chain and have yet to try Kitchen 519, 200 E. Evesham Road, Glendora, now’s the perfect opportunity. The restaurant’s Valentine’s offerings sound like a home run across the board: scallops, oysters, a 32-ounce rib-eye steak served for two, and vegan macaroni and cheese. Visit kitchen-519.com to learn more.