Spark Joy: An Illustrated Guide to the Japanese Art of Tidying by Marie Kondo – digested read

Life truly only really begins when you have put your house in order. That’s why I have devoted my life to tidying. See that T-shirt on the floor. Pick it up you, lazy scumbag. Where was I? Joy. That should be the defining feature of tidying. Tidying doesn’t necessarily mean you have to throw everything away. It just means keeping the things that bring you joy. Hopefully, though, you will end up like me and realise nothing brings you more joy than living in an empty shell. Only then will you have mastered the zen of tidying.

People often say to me: “Kon Mari, I am ready to tidy but I am finding it very difficult.” My answer is always the same: the road to tidiness is hard and requires much effort. You must commit yourself wholeheartedly to tidiness; anything less is the road to degradation. Relapse may start with a stray sock on the floor but it can end in coats piled up on a chair; sometimes even in death.

As I have already said at least once – and will continue to say repeatedly over the next 250 pages as that is about all there is to this book – the secret of tidying is to keep only those objects that give you joy. Sometimes it is not always easy to know if something brings you joy and in these cases you must be prepared to look deep inside yourself to find the answer.

One client of mine was unable to decide if a Parker Knoll recliner was really bringing her joy despite hours of intensive meditation. I then suggested she wrote a letter. “Dear Parker Knoll recliner, What the fuck have you every done for me? Yours sincerely, S.” Unfortunately the Parker Knoll recliner didn’t reply so, in the end, I had to suggest that she and the Parker Knoll recliner go into couples counselling. After six sessions, they agreed to part because of unjoyous irreconcilable differences.

Here I should enter a note of caution. Do not confuse tidying with cleaning. Tidying requires an utterly focused mind: if you allow yourself to be distracted by cleaning you are sure to humiliate yourself. Do not also make the simple error of tidying room by room; only by tidying thematically can you be assured of avoiding a crippling sense of guilt and self-loathing. Start with your clothes, before moving on to your shoes. Above all, always leave the kitchen till last as within this space there are many trials and tribulations to be faced. Once everything is tidy, then take everything out of its storage space and clean throughly.

Tidying can bring some unexpected joys. One client of mine hadn’t looked in her loft for years. When I persuaded her to do so, she found a Rembrandt she didn’t know she had. I asked her if this brought her joy. She said: “No, but I am thrilled to have recovered the extra storage space I will get by throwing it away.” If something that seems useless brings you joy then keep it. If you don’t know where to put it, then try putting it in a frame and hanging it on the wall. A table can be rejuvenated if hung properly.

Those items that bring you the most joy, such as your divorce certificate, should be kept in your power spot. Every house will have its own power spot. To find yours, close your eyes and joyously chant: “Where’s my power spot?” If the answer does not come to you then you aren’t chanting joyously enough.

Now we have explored the theory, it is time to start tidying. Clothes should always be folded, then rolled into a ball before being placed vertically in the basket. Some clothes are easier to fold than others. If you are having trouble folding a particular item then cut it into convenient squares; it can always be reassembled at a later date if you ever get round to wearing it again. Always leave exactly 10% of any drawer free for new items: any more and you are bound to end up buying clothes that don’t give you joy to fill the space; any less and you will start leaving clobber all over the house and you will start to feel glum not joyous.

When storing komono – my term for miscellaneous items – the only way to know the best place for any item is to think yourself into the character of that item. Before I put a komono item away, I joyously climb into the storage space and imagine what it would be like to be stored there. Only then can you know if the Toilet Duck cleaner would be really at home under the bathroom sink.

Once you’re living joyously with all your possessions joyously stored away joyously, you are free to move on to the most advanced joyous level of joyous tidying. See that lump sitting in the armchair watching the football when you want to watch Making a Murderer? Ask yourself this: which gives me more joy? The lump or the empty chair? So ditch him.

Digested read, digested: Mari Kari.