My husband and I work together as co-owners of our company, share an office, parent two kids and generally have it pretty darn awesome. People ask us all of the time, "how do you do it?" And then they always follow that with, "I could never work with my _______ (husband, wife)," at which point my husband and I look at each other and shrug our shoulders.
I've heard this question so many times now that I decided to sit down and think about it and see if I had any answers. What I came up with are my top five ways to make working with your spouse a great thing.
1. Don't cut off shop talk outside of work.
We don't cut off talking about work when we leave work. We let it come and go naturally. If our kids hear our good and bad days, so be it. If our family and friends hear about it too, so be it. Surround yourself with those that appreciate it. Our kids will learn from our chit-chat about work. They better, as that is how we learned - from our parents talking about work when they got home. If you allow it to happen when it needs to happen, rather than restricting it, then it won't happen as much outside of work. You'll be surprised!
2. The lines can blur a little, but do different types of work (at work).
If one of you is great at marketing and sales and one is great at operations, then do those things and do them well. You can always help the other out (and let those lines blur a bit), as your different personalities will be needed sometimes, but at the end of the day, let each other be the expert in those areas. Offer your support and your opinion and then let it go.
3. Stop fixing; start listening.
When you get home from a long day and you look over to your partner to vent, you don't want a FIX to your problems. You want to do just that - VENT! it is the same for those that work together. You have to let the other one vent without trying to come to the rescue. It is easier said than done in a situation where you work together too, as you normally have a way to fix it. But just don't. No, don't... really. Just listening to your spouse will get you far.
4. When the going gets bad... get them a treat.
If you're taking numbers 1-3 to heart, that means there will be days when you are unable to help. You don't know enough about their job to do it for them, you don't fix their stuff when the going gets rough, and there are still days when they will need to work their butts off (and you won't). Get them a treat. When they're toiling away on a Saturday trying to finalize year-end documents or working on a Sunday to get a new large proposal out the door to increase sales, don't get mad at them for being unavailable - instead, get them something to show you understand how important their work is to YOU, to the business, to everything. Need ideas? Try flowers, a glass of wine or their favorite drink, a shoulder rub.
5. Be open and surround yourself with people (preferably your management team) like you.
Be open at all times. Keep challenging each other, keep telling each other your opinion and welcome feedback. You will be together a lot, so you have to be ok being open. If you can, you should also surround yourself with a management team that is readily accessible and willing to walk through challenges honestly with the two of you. If you all aren't open with each other, you and your spouse might let those things fester until you get home. Don't do that. Have people around you willing to argue, challenge you and fight for their opinions and beliefs so that you deal with most issues during the day at the office... not alone with your spouse!
This blogger graduated from Goldman Sachs' 10,000 Small Businesses program. Goldman Sachs is a partner of the What Is Working: Small Businesses section.