What Are Racket Feelings Pt 2
I conducted a small survey when writing this post and the feelings elicited were:
- Anger at self
- Disappointment
- Frustration with train management
- Helpless
- Upset
- Annoyed
- Nervous
- Anxious
- Devastated
The problem with racket feelings is that they are unauthentic. Children learn which feelings are acceptable in their world and which are not. Racket feelings are substitutes for the real feelings and they are not always a bad thing. For example if a little girl discovers that to be bubbly and smile a lot gets her a lot of attention when she is really feeling lonely, it can continue to do so in adulthood. It is useful therefore, to know whether oneâs feelings are authentic or racket at any given time.
The crucial difference is when it comes to problem solving. A racket feeling does not help, but an authentic one does. Lets look at the problem solving function of the following:
Fear
Fear can help solve problems that you foresee arising in the future. Eg, if I fear crashing the car, I am more likely to get it serviced more often.
Anger
This can help solve problems in the present. Eg, if someone pushes in front of me in a queue, expressing anger can help me get my place back.
Sadness
Sadness can help us to recover from problems that are in the past. Eg, if we allow ourselves to feel sad about a loss, we can move on.
