Dear Max,
Welcome to the world. I know your name, what you look like, and even the 2,000-word mission statement that your father, Mark Zuckerberg, has outlined for your entire existence. I know this because, thanks in large part to your dad, we overshare EVERYTHING on the Internet. See, that's you at the top of this page. So cute! I just pulled your photo from Facebook. Those things are permanent (remember that). Oh man, that letter, though. Come on, dad! Like, you're only a few hours old and he's already embarrassing you by making grand statements about some imagined human utopia, and announcing that he'll donate 99 percent of his Facebook shares–about $45 billion–to achieve it. This letter celebrating your birth even required a U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission filing. OMG! Such a dad move, right!? Let's be Facebook friends.
Love,
Facebook Content Farmer
Matt Miller is a Brooklyn-based culture/lifestyle writer and music critic whose work has appeared in Esquire, Forbes, The Denver Post, and documentaries.
