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Robbie Savage on coping with mental health issues: 'I am nothing like the man on TV... I am very insecure'
Robbie Savage has lifted the lid on his mental-health issues, admitting he has suffered from anxiety and calling on others who are struggling to seek help.
The former Wales captain and high-profile pundit says he first sought professional help after sustaining a broken leg a decade ago and still speaks to a doctor at least once a month.
Savage is the latest high-profile sporting figure to reveal his struggles since Aaron Lennon was detained under the Mental Health Act in May, with the spotlight firmly on how sport deals with the issue.
“I speak to a doctor, called Tim, once or twice every month,” says Savage, 42. “I use him to open up and just try and get the perspective and reassurance he gives me. He has been a huge benefit to me in my life.”
Savage has decided to go public after a summer in which mental health became a central issue in sport, with The Daily Telegraph launching “Sport’s Mental Health Crisis” campaign and a number of sportspeople revealing their own issues.
The former Leicester, Birmingham, Blackburn and Derby midfielder also admits he has struggled to deal with his father’s death from early-onset dementia in 2012, saying he will “never forgive myself” for not being present when Colin Savage died aged 64.
He also talks candidly about the suicide of close friend Gary Speed, saying he hopes it encourages others who are struggling to confide in others.
But Savage says it is his new profession as a pundit that he finds most challenging, admitting that his confident, brash on-screen persona bears little resemblance to his off-screen character.
“I will ring people numerous times a day to ask the same questions and get the same opinions,” explains Savage. “If I have said something slightly wrong I worry I will lose my job, that I won’t be able to support my family.
“As soon as the lights go out and the mic is off I go back into my shell. I go home, I worry. I am insecure, very insecure.”
He adds: “How different am I to the man on television? Completely different. The people that know me will back that up. People will see me on TV and have a perception of me which is completely and utterly wrong, though I have my opinions and everything I say I believe.
“When I am on the TV and radio some people will look at me and think, ‘Look at him, full of life and enjoying life’. That’s also with how I look and people can come up with the wrong perception.
“When I go home I have the same worries and troubles as everyone else. For me, it’s difficult, as sometimes you just have to put on a show, but if I have a bad day at work I fear I could get sacked just like everybody.
“I might not think I am good enough for a role, or wonder whether people will know who I am because I didn’t have a good enough football career. I think people always like to put me down and that’s difficult to deal with.
“When I broke my leg [playing for Blackburn in 2007] I was in a dark place, a bad place. Similarly, since I retired you don’t know what’s around the corner. I admit there are times still now [when I struggle] – which is why I have a doctor I speak to for reassurance.”
Savage admits his anxiety has held him back. He has turned down reality-television offers due to a lack of self-confidence and when he began his career in punditry he felt inferior sitting next to Rio Ferdinand and Steven Gerrard. He even admits to guilt that he is, in his own words, taking a job away from a journalist.
He is certainly not alone in dealing with mental-health problems. Savage, though, feels he can talk openly about his issues, as he is doing now on behalf of Legal and General’s “Not a Red Card” campaign which, with contributions from Savage, rugby referee Nigel Owens, hockey duo Kate and Helen Richardson-Walsh, and others, is designed to tackle the stigma around mental health in the workplace.
Savage knows the potentially devastating consequences when people do not speak out. Speed was one of his closest friends, and they talked a week before the Wales manager took his own life, on November 27 2011. Savage had no idea his friend was struggling.
“Lots of current and ex-footballers, or just people in the workplace, suffer from these mental health issues but don’t speak,” says Savage.
“Gary was a close friend. He didn’t open up to anybody. If he had we could still be talking about Gary and how he is still here. I wish he had spoken up about his troubles to prevent what happened. I was with him three weeks before and there were no signs. He was the Gary Speed I played with. My captain, a fantastic leader. Doing great with Wales.”
These issues have affected Savage over the past decade, most notably in the five years between his father being diagnosed with dementia and his death. “I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for not being there the night he passed away,” says Savage. “I still deal with that on a day-to-day basis. I never thought I would lose my dad, my hero, in the way I did, but we lost him three or four years before he passed away.
“But I have good people around me. My wife, agent Jake Mallen, Freddie Flintoff is a good friend. I can get these things off my chest, whereas before it was quite hard.”
He has needed that support network in recent years since swapping boots for microphone in 2011, a transition that has been harder than it may have appeared, particularly with his two children reading the abuse he receives on Twitter. “As a footballer, I followed my dream, and it came naturally to me,” he adds. “I knew if I performed well and conducted myself well I could form a very good career with limited ability.
“With the media, it doesn’t come naturally to me because I wasn’t trained to be a journalist. I feel fortunate to have a life after football but I still have the same worries and pressures as everyone else.”
He is aware that a footballer speaking in this manner is unusual, which is why he is doing it. But with the focus on mental health in sport as never before he hopes his honesty can make a difference.
“I have just been one of those people who can open up about things with mental health,” he adds. “I just know that prevention is better than the cure.”