Being True to You
Super Tip # 1
Know What You Truly Want
 

Happy New Year! With some concerted effort and support I am sure this can be your year. My gift to you is to encourage you to take it up a few notches in being true to your Self this year. (I have intentionally capitalized Self, as it represents the deepest part of you, the part that carries your all-knowingness, what is truly ‘right’ for you, and what will hit the mark for you.) Each month I will share with you a new super tip that will guide you to live in greater alignment with your true Self. Honoring your Self in this way allows you to find greater fulfillment, develop stronger relationships, contribute with greater impact and feel like you’re living in your flow. Let’s start!
 
Know What You Truly Want!
 
It all starts here. Knowing what you want leads you to living your deepest desires. Discovering what you truly want from your core Self isn’t always easily accessible; that want may only reveal itself over time. However, if you’re willing to do some work, open up and practice patience, you can learn to listen carefully to what’s really going on inside you. This can help you know and understand your preferences, opinions, wants, needs and desires. Over time, by practicing certain skills, your inner knowing muscle will develop and these skills will become integrated – and, eventually, second nature. Then you’ll be living your true Self more and more, and that all-knowing part of yourself will become your compass by which you guide your life towards fulfillment, meaning and joy. Here are three different skills you can start to practice to learn what you truly want:
 
The Skill of Presence
 
First, if you’re not sure what you truly want right now, that’s okay. When you’re ready, the skill of presence can be developed by learning how to be still and listen to what’s going on within yourself. Start by noticing what you hear, see, smell, taste or feel. In the beginning you may feel strange, uncertain whether you’re doing it ‘right’. Give yourself a chance. Let those thoughts of doing it ‘right or not’ go and focus instead on being with yourself in the moment and becoming present.
 
Tuning into the present can be used as a gauge when you don’t know what you want and need some grounding and clarity. This tuning-in can provide you with important information about how you feel, what you want and what needs to happen for you to be in your flow. It can also help you clarify what you like, don’t like, want, don’t want, need, don’t need. It also helps you release and relax.
 
Reflection
 
Reflection is the second skill you can cultivate to get to know what you truly want. You can choose to think back on the past year, 9 months, 6 months, 3 months or whatever period of time you want. The key is to think about all the things you felt proud of, happy with, positive about and that you’d like to carry on. Then think about those things that you could’ve done without, those painful lessons you learned during that period that you never want to repeat.

This exercise can help you flesh out some of the things you truly want and the experiences you don’t want. Journaling about these things is a good way to clarify different events, relationships, feelings, trips, routines, etc. that happened. This helps you get more specific about what you can do to take being true to your Self up a few notches.
 
Setting Intentions, Trusting Your Gut
 
Lastly, learn the skill of setting intentions and going with your gut when it comes to knowing what you truly want. When you do this exercise, think about the important aspects of your life, such as family, friends, career, fun, finances, home, spirituality, etc. Without over-thinking things, write about one or two goals or desires for each of those categories that resonates with you and that you’d love to have happen this year. Write them down.
 
Whether you use the tools of presence, reflection, intentions or a combination of all three – or your own method – make a list of 20-50 things you’d love to see happen this year. Feel free to include intangible things like how you’d like to feel, behave, show up in different aspects in your life, be in relationship with others, along with all the other tangible things such as changing jobs, making a certain amount of money or learning a new hobby. 
 
What is it that you truly want? I’d love to hear what your process was and what tools you used to create your list. Did you discover any new things you weren’t aware of that you now want to bring into your life? If so, what were they? Now that the hardest part – understanding what you truly want – is over, you can start moving in that direction!