“We've spent the last 18 months putting together an unforgettable lineup. Allow us to highlight a few speakers we think you should know about.” - The Summit Team
I am going on a cruise with Eric Schmidt, John Legend, Martha Stewart, Travis Kalanick and two thousand other world changers this week. This is an event, a destination, and a cultivation of people from all walks of life. Those names above are just a small snippet of the line up that Summit has planned for Summit at Sea.
So, what’s Summit all about?
The mission of Summit Series, Summit's flagship event series, is to unite the leaders of today and tomorrow in surreal settings and immersive experiences designed to catalyze positive personal and collective growth.
Let me step back for a moment and give you the history of how I even got to this point. I seem to tell this story with increasing frequency as I meet interesting people around the world.
Almost exactly four years ago, I received an email from my friend Nicole saying, “Last minute. Can you come to Seattle Nov 4-6?” I had the pleasure of meeting Nicole through a friend, and she has the uncanny ability to almost instantly connect with people on a deep level.
When Nicole came through the city of Greenville, SC, her energy and ideas seemed to spark every creative thinker here in town. I believe her amazing visit helped bring our city some events like TEDxGreenville, PechaKucha, and more. She got involved in the non-profit and business communities very quickly, and inspired me to start a dinner bringing together our seasoned and new community leaders. I had no idea why she came or what she did at the time, but when you meet people with that kind of contagious energy, you just need to go with it.
Let’s get back to the email. So I fiddled around and thought about a couple of excuses of why I couldn’t or shouldn’t go on this trip to Seattle. Then I was reminded of something that I heard Tony Robbins say, which was something like, “Don’t should on yourself.”
I should lose weight.
I should be more confident.
I should earn more money.
I should have a more passionate relationship.
Your life will never change unless you turn your shoulds into a must or a gotta. So I used up every credit card and hotel point that I had to make sure I made this trip. More importantly, I didn’t want to let a friend down. I had no idea what I was getting into at the time. After I made the decision to go, I mentioned it to some of my friends who had a hard time wrapping their heads around taking a random last-minute trip like this. I was unfazed by their negativity and decided to go anyway.
Lesson
Check your circle of friends. Surround yourself with people who aspire to do better.
I land in Seattle and it’s my first time in the city. I walk out of the airport and it’s cloudy, kind of cool, but not raining. I check into my room around the corner from the host hotel because I was late making arrangements and the host hotel was fully booked.
After checking into my hotel, I decide to throw my bag down on the bed and go straight over to the host hotel. I briskly walk over to the hotel and stroll in, running into this older couple standing around in the lobby area, and I start a conversation. If you’ve never met me, then I must warn you that I’ll talk to a tree as long as the leaves are moving to show it’s listening. I give a big smile and say, “ Hello.” They greeted me and then asked why I was there, to which I replied, “Oh, I’m here meeting my friend Nicole and a group of people.” They replied, “Summit?” and I said “Yes.”
I’m always fascinated when I meet genuinely nice people. They said, “We’re Elliot’s parents.” At the time I had no idea who Elliot was, but we’ll get to that. I replied, “That’s cool, what are you guys up to this weekend?” We ended up chatting about Summit and what the group was all about. After that, I meet a guy named Micah Baldwin, who would later be a mentor in the accelerator program that I was accepted to. Micah shot it to me straight about what I was trying to do with my startup. The whole “tech startup” world was brand new to me at this time, and I didn’t realize what kind of learning curve it would be. Luckily, I was getting a crash course through the people I was meeting. Elliot walks up to me and we talk like we’re old friends. I later found out that Elliot was one of the founders of this organization, Summit, which helps curate-amazing people to build everlasting relationships.
My friend Nicole comes in smiling as usual. She comes up, greets the group, and me, and immediately guides me to a table full of folks. She does what I think she does best and fires off rapid intros to connect us all. I immediately connected with her brother David DeMember (point guard at Toi) when we started talking sports.
The groups then separated and went on to dinner. I remember sitting at a dinner table full of amazing people. That’s where I met a guy named Chris Barrett, who ran a very unique PR agency, but had a passion for film. I also met Tonya Leigh, who was passionate about giving inspiration to women all over the world in her pursuit to help them with the French Kiss Life. These are just a few of the many people that I met while I was on this spontaneous trip to Seattle.
Oprah Winfrey once said, “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.”
I wholeheartedly agree with this quote, but I would add to it and say: challenge you, encourage you, and inspire you.
By the second day, I’d already had a couple of epiphanies based on some of the conversations I had the day before. I had been sitting on an idea for more than a year, but after talking to a guy named Jameson Detweiler, I felt I needed to take immediate action. I told him about my idea for I Feel Local (No Chains) and he told me about accelerators. I had no idea what he was talking about at the time, but I’m a very quick learner. He was an alumnus of one of the big three (Y-Combinator, TechStars, and 500 Startups) at the time, called 500 startups, with his company LaunchRock. Every conversation that I had or talk that I heard was meaningful for me on different levels. I remember having breakfast with Kate Denton, who at the time was Director of Innovation at Gatorade, and we had an in-depth conversation about diversity challenges in the world. We talked for a couple of hours on various topics. I feel that the question “So, what do you do?” automatically puts a human's mindset into classifying or trying to force the brain to find a way to relate. The challenge with that is that a lot of people that I run into aren't open to learning about things that don't directly relate to them. I had no idea what Kate did until the last part of our conversation. There are countless other things that you can relate to people on. Don't let your career or field of work be the only thing you use to try to make a connection with others. Instead, try connecting in areas such as family, recreation, hometown, etc.
Lesson
Work on making friends not just contacts. Try to connect with people on a deeper level outside of just work.
After an unbelievable two days of meeting like-minded people who were doing awesome things, the meeting ended. I took a car service called Uber (remember, this was 2011) with Nicole and another new friend Alan Chan. The people mentioned in this piece probably don’t remember these conversations or even know the impact that they had on me, but it was one hell of an eye opener. The relationships that I built in Seattle have led to great dinners in NYC with Carissa Reiniger who helps small businesses grow with her company Silver Lining, to people like Tom McLeod, the co-founder of Omni Storage (an on-demand storage concierge), giving me a ride home at SXSW in his bus, to being able to watch some of the most well-known startups make a difference in the world.
One conversation with a new friend led to answering one email, which led to one spontaneous trip, which helped me not only build my business, but gave me friendships for life. Building relationships is key to being successful in all areas of life, not just business. The great thing about Summit is that everyone is trying to change the world in a positive way that's unique to their pursuit. I spent two days at this event in Seattle and it literally changed my perspective on business and life. I can’t wait to see how the world will be impacted after this cruise when over 2000 of the smartest and most creative people in the world come together to collaborate and celebrate!
Lessons
Networking and building relationships isn’t the same thing
My perspective on what makes Summit so successful:
- Networking is about contacts, but building relationships is about new friends. For example, you can post on Facebook that you’re coming to NYC and people that you’ve never met welcome you with open arms, inviting you to dinners, events, and coffee.
- Be open to building relationships with people outside of your normal environments or industry. I could write a dissertation on how humanity struggles to evolve because they never step out their own environments or cultural circles. I still remember the short conversation I had with Ayana Johnson about how we can restore our oceans and having a drink with Cameron Sinclair to talk about designing and building affordable housing in third-world countries. When we step outside our boxes we no longer have a need to force inclusion through programs, but we would just celebrate and appreciate each other's differences.
- Do a favor before you ask a favor. I was at a lunch the other day and a guy needed some contacts in a specific industry. I told him I would connect him with some folks that I knew, for which he offered to pay me. I said “No need. If this helps your business out it'll eventually help more people.” I don't say that to impress you, but to impress upon you that one of the greatest satisfactions you'll get in life is helping others. So far, from what I've seen with the Summit community, they're a giving community willing to help.
The last time I was with this group I made some pretty big decisions in my life. I've learned, grown, and matured now. Challenge yourself to make investments in you and in the environments that challenge you. You can learn more about Summit here and I'll follow up with part two after the cruise.
Make no small plans.
