The Best of Legacy Arts Volume 1

The Best of

VOLUME 1

PARAGONROAD.COM

Stability in Uncertainty

Are Your Kids Doomed?

+ THE WORLD IS CHANGING: NEIGHBORS ARE TALKING LESS, COMMUNITY IS DISAPPEARING, RELIGIOUS ATTENDANCE IS PLUMMETING, FAMILIES ARE BEING REDEFINED. NOW, MORE THAN EVER, IS A TIME TO CREATE STABILITY FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

Steve Jobs Final Regrets About His Family + “I WANTED MY KIDS TO KNOW ME,” SAID JOBS. “I WASN’T ALWAYS THERE FOR THEM, AND I WANTED THEM TO KNOW WHY...”

Wisdom from a Sports Agent + HOW LEIGH STEINBERG, THE REAL LIFE JERRY MAGUIRE, MOLDS SPORTS STARS INTO LEGENDS.

Contents

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Legacy of a Young Entrepreneur How Ash Kumra is Taking Startup Culture to a Whole New Level

8

Should You Write a Legacy Letter?

10

12 22

Transferring Wealth the Right Way

Why Intergenerational Wealth Transfers Fail 70% of the Time

Creating a Portfolio of Unforgettable Memories A Nation of Guardian Angels

Why Bill Littlejohn, CEO of Sharp HealthCare Foundation, Believes Our Greatest Legacy is to Become a Guardian Angel

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Steve Jobs’ Greatest Regret: His Family

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The Comfort of a Story

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Spirituality & Business

How My Grandfather’s Memoir Changed My Life

Why James I. Anthony Jr., Hires Based On Values and Leads with a Spiritual Focus

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Are Your Kids Doomed? Laura Roser

RIP

RIP

46 32 36 38

5 Stories to Enhance Your CHILDREN’S SELF-ESTEEM

A Centi-Millionaire's Focus on Family

How Larry Mendelson, Chairman and CEO of Heico (NYSE: HEI and HEI.A), Puts His Family First

A Legacy That Multiplies Over Generations As

Chairman and CEO of Zions Bank, Harris H. Simmons embraces a philosophy of saving, and considers success something more than what you earn.

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A Legacy Before Its Time

Why Victoria Woodhull, The First Woman to Run for President in 1872, Remains the Heroine the World Almost Forgot

Super Agent's Focus on Athletes’ Legacies Instrumental in His Own Turnaround Timeless Wisdom: Condemned to Be Free

An Existentialist’s Search for Purpose

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Legacy Arts Magazine

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l Create a legacy of lasting impact. l Structure financial and time resources in a way that is meaningful. l Archive and document family heritage and personal historical milestones. l Pass on assets of merit, including values and beliefs, traditions, wisdom, talents and skills, and financial intelligence.

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Best of Legacy Arts: Volume 1

Feature Articles Paragon Road PUBLISHER Laura A. Roser EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Marko Nedeljkovic DESIGN William Summey CONTENT DIRECTOR

Legacy of a Young Entrepreneur Ash Kumra

Should You Write a Legacy Letter? Transferring Wealth the Right Way: Why Intergenerational Wealth Transfers Fail 70% of the Time Creating a Portfolio of Unforgettable Memories Daniel Burrus A Nation of Guardian Angels Bill Littlejohn Steve Jobs’ Greatest Regret: His Family The Comfort of a Story

Paragon Road

Spirituality & Business James I. Anthony Jr 5 Stories to Enhance Your Children's Self-Esteem

Mike Bishop Amanda Kelly Rachael Rifkin Laura A. Roser

A Centi-Millionaire's Focus on Family Larry Mendelson A Legacy That Multiplies Over Generations Harris H. Simmons A Legacy Before Its Time Neal Katz Are Your Kids Doomed? Super Agent's Focus on Athletes’ Legacies Instrumental in His Own Turnaround Leigh Steinberg Timeless Wisdom: Condemned to Be Free Jean-Paul Sartre

Share your product or service with thousands of financial professionals around the world through our digital magazine and main website. Email: advertising@paragonroad.com

Have a good idea for an article, feedback or suggestions for our magazine? Email the editor directly: william@paragonroad.com

Legacy of a Youn

How Ash Kumra is Taking Sta

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erial entrepreneur, author and speaker, Ash Kumra began his legacy with one simple question: “How can I help push people to become better versions of themselves?”

For Ash, a “better version” means helping others reach their dreams. Ash was recognized twice by the White House as an entrepreneur making an impact. He also co-founded DreamItAlive.com, a global community guiding users to create their “dream life” with scientifically proven visualization tools, dreamboards® and personal development content. He’s been featured in hundreds of articles including Forbes Magazine, Huffington Post, American Express and Entrepreneur Magazine.

Now Ash is launching a new company called Trade Kraft—a video network focused on empowering Millennials to achieve their dreams and life goals. “Being authentic is one of the most important things you can do as an entrepreneur,” said Ash. “If you do something you’re passionate about, you’re going to give a better output. If you give a better output, you’re going to give a better value to the customer. If you give a better value to the customer, you actually help the economy of the world. If you do something that’s trend based, you’re

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ng Entrepreneur

artup Culture to a Whole New Level not always thinking about what’s in it for the customer. You’re just thinking about what’s in it for the business. What’s in it for the bottom line.” And that kind of bottomline thinking is exactly what Ash wants to help business people avoid. Ash has two basic tips to get you into an inspired mindset that will produce the best, most creative results: 1. Ash never begins work unless he’s in an inspired mindset. So that could mean he starts the day at 8:00 AM or 12:00 PM. He believes if you are not inspired, you cannot give 100% of your effort and the results will be sub par.

2. He tries to begin the day with a “win” for himself. For example, he works out or expresses gratitude or calls a friend who makes him feel loved. When he follows the above protocol, things seem to flow for him. When he doesn’t, he experiences a lack of productivity. “When you’re inspired and win the day, you’re fearless,” he says. For Ash, creating a great legacy is about getting in that inspired mindset and pushing your passions forward toward a unifying vision.  To learn more about Trade Kraft and Ash Kumra, visit tradekrafts.com.

MASTER YOUR PASSION

www.tradekrafts.com

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Should You Write a Legacy Letter? L

egacy letters or ethical wills are mentioned in both Christian and Hebrew bibles as a way of passing values, beliefs, blessings and moral philosophies from one generation to the next.

Significant transition points which may inspire the creation of a legacy letter are:  Single adult who reaches middle age without plans for marriage or to have children. This can be a great time to articulate your values to friends, extended family and express your charitable intentions for the community.  Betrothed couples who want to clarify their personal values and principles with one another.  The birth of a child is an excellent time to express your intentions in raising this special little one and passing along your love and beliefs.  Growing families and changing roles of children can inspire new reasons to compile and bestow values and closely-held memories.  During a separation or divorce when parents would like to enforce their intentions and reassure their children.  Middle age, retirement or significant aging milestones are a time to look back and forward and express both your wisdom gained and hopes for the future.  When life is coming to an end and you’d like to leave a legacy.  Challenging life events, like: the death of a loved one, surgery, a serious illness, divorce, job loss, moving to another city, the marriage or birth of a child or grandchild.

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In the words of Barry K. Baines, M.D., Author of Ethical Wills, Putting Your Values On Paper: “When my father was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1990, I asked him to write a letter about the things he valued. About a month before he died, my dad gave me two handwritten pages in which he spoke about the importance of being honest, getting a good education, helping people in need, and remaining loyal to the family. That letter — his ethical will — meant more to me than any material possession he could have bequeathed.” It may be time to consider taking a few moments to write down how you feel. Just a page or two can make all the difference in the world. 

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Transferring WEALTH the Right Way Why Intergenerational Wealth Transfers Fail 70% of the Time by Laura A. Roser

A

ccording to a study that surveyed 3,250 wealthy families, 70% of the time when wealth is transferred to an heir, it is lost due to mismanagement, poor investment choices and other mistakes. In their book, Preparing Heirs: Five Steps to Successful Transition of Family Wealth and Values, Vic Preisser and Roy Williams cite three reasons why wealth transfers result in so many catastrophes: l 15% of failed wealth transfers are a result of taxes, legal issues, and poor financial planning. l 25% of failed wealth transfers are because of inadequately prepared heirs. l 60% of failed wealth transfers are because of breakdowns in communication and trust within the family. The problem I see is that the accumulation, management and retention of wealth is a direct manifestation of mindset and action. When families only focus on hard assets – the money – they lose sight of their most important assets. You have three asset types and only focusing on the money or tangible assets leaves a gaping hole. If you are not able to properly pass on all assets to your heirs, you end up with break downs in family communication, misunderstandings, legal problems and squandered wealth.

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But what about your character and intellectual assets? Often these assets are lost simply because there is not a structured way to identify them and pass them along. But there is a way to properly structure and create a meaningful legacy that takes into account your intellectual and character assets and may very well be the thing that preserves your financial assets. When you look at the stats above, you’ll see that 85% of failed wealth transfers are a direct result of not properly passing on intellectual and character assets and much of the remaining 15% could be solved by transferring these two asset types as well.

What is a Meaning Legacy? Simply put, a Meaning Legacy preserves your life, lessons you’ve learned along your journey and vision for the future as a guide to those you care about. It’s not only about leaving behind something great after you have died. It’s about living life in a way that will positively impact those you love right here, right now.

When most people think of assets, they think of physical things—money, homes, cars, jewelry—but these objects are a poor replacement for a person’s most valuable assets. Your assets can be broken into three main categories: l Character Assets: Your meaningful relationships, values, health, spirituality, heritage, purpose, talents, and plans for giving. l Intellectual Assets: Your business systems, alliances, ideas, skills, traditions, and wisdom. l Financial Assets: Your physical wealth and how to pass along money in a way that is meaningful and is not going to harm its recipients by making them dependent and unhappy. It is easy to pass along your financial assets. Simply set up a trust or foundation and they are distributed as you have instructed.

A Meaning Legacy gives your loved ones so much more than good memories; it creates a dialog, a family narrative that will serve as the foundation for their decisions, loyalty and love. When a family is able to openly discuss important issues, have fun together, learn together and support each other, everything is better—from transferring wealth to family vacations. 

Laura A. Roser is the founder and CEO of Paragon Road, the #1 authority in meaning legacy planning. For more information about meaning legacy planning services, visit www.paragonroad.com.

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Creating a Portfolio of

UNFORGETTABLE MEMORIES Laura Roser’s Q&A with Futurist Daniel Burrus

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aniel Burrus, New York Times bestseller and one of the world’s leading futurists on global trends and innovation, shares his thoughts about how to create a legacy of impact. To Daniel, a great legacy revolves around collecting and sharing a portfolio of unforgettable memories. He offers sound advice only gained through years of experience and deep introspection. LR: We do a lot of work helping individuals create a legacy and pass on non-financial assets, such as wisdom, beliefs, values and so on. What is your take on how one goes about creating a great legacy—either in his or her family or in the community? DB:The first thing that comes to mind when you’re describing that is, what I want in my old age is a widely

diversified portfolio of unforgettable memories. Now, if you think about that statement for just a minute, memories are usually not a solo thing, they’re usually shared with someone, because, in my mind, the best experience is a shared experience. You have to have that context. If I have great memories and they’re unforgettable, most likely other people that were with me have those unforgettable memories, and really amazing, unforgettable memories you share with people, and they share with people, and it inspires people to create more unforgettable memories. It’s amazing and I’ve had people that have shared unforgettable memories with me that I can see posting those unforgettable memories on their social media sites, to others and it creates a web. Of course, when it comes to unforgettable memories, you need to be making deposits often. That’s one level. Secondly, it plays into the second part that you talked about

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which is values and beliefs. One of the things that I started doing when I was working on my first book back in the 1980s was, I was thinking of putting in some quotes of other famous people, because in my mind, a good quote usually was one sentence and it was of a piece of wisdom, meaning it was a guiding principal. Because I couldn’t find a good definition of wisdom in the dictionary so I came up with my own, a guiding principal that can be stated in one sentence. I started asking, as I was starting to look at others by Einstein, and Bob Dylan and so on, I started realizing, “Hey I’ve got some guiding principals that have really helped me.” I started coming up with my guiding principals. Once you write them down it’s easier to share them with family, friends and others because for some reason, the act of writing them down indelibly etches them in your mind’s eye. Even though when I come up with one, I write it down, frankly, I’ve never had to re-look at my old list because it’s in my mind’s eye, I can recall them any time I want. My suggestion for people is, number one, you have amazing guiding principals that have helped you live a wonderful life, that you would love to pass on, but if you can’t write them,

if you can’t state them in a memorable way, they won’t be passed on as well. I would suggest spending a little bit of time thinking, what are the things that have, if you have fantastic kids that have done amazing things, what are the guiding principals that helped you to do that? It would be good to share those with your kids so that their kids could be doing that. Or if you’ve been very successful in business, what are the guiding principals that have helped you overcome obstacles and do those amazing things? Again, convert them into a one sentence guiding principal. You can look at quotes of others to give you some ideas of how that might work. So, it’s a way of capturing something that then can be shared and spread, because if you can’t capture it, then you’re relying on hope that others will have those values. Now, of course with that said, I’ll also suggest that how you lived you life and you how you act on a daily basis is in reality, teaching those values and principles because there’s an old saying, “It’s not what you say, it’s what you do,” that people notice. That’s there of course, but what I’m doing is increasing the odds by suggesting you log them, get them written down so that, again they can actually be shared for generations to come.

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LR: Speaking of that, even writing them down makes a change on your behaviors as well. DB: Well, of course because we get busy and we’ve got to keep those important self-discovered lessons in the top of our mind rather than buried in our deep subconscious where they may not be acting and working, so it keeps them more top of mind, so that you can access them and use them. One other little tip that I can give people on that. When you’re talking to people, this may be a work, this may be family and friends, every now and then, one of those guiding principals will come out. You’ll notice it when you say it because it really is powerful. In your subconscious mind you kind of say to yourself, you know that little voice that talks to you in your head? It may say, “Wow, that was good,” but the trouble is, you keep talking and because you keep talking, it is not parked in a permanent memory spot in your brain. You won’t remember it, and therefore you can’t bring it back up whenever you want, because it’s in a part of the brain that’s so temporary that it’s gone. All you will remember is that you really said something great and you wish you could have remembered it. Here’s a technique that I would like your readers to try, and that is, when one of those great, little one sentence guiding principles, wisdom lines comes out of your mouth when you’re talking to someone, and I don’t care how important a meeting it might be, stop and say, “Wow, hey, that was good. Let me say

that again,” and say it again. Now there’s two things that are happening. Number one, it was good, you should say it again, not only for you but for the people you were talking to, “Hey that was a good one.” Secondly now by stopping and saying it again, you put it in a different part of your brain where it’s now not in the discard pile along with all the other words that you say in everyday conversation, it’s now in a holding tank. Think of it that way, where you can access it for probably another, four, five, six hours before it gets discarded. In other words, now you’ve got time to write it down after you’re done with the conversation.

LR: Wow. I love that. What are your thoughts about how to create a legacy that impacts many people or a community? DB: If you look at the definitions of legacy. Of course a lot of them involve giving property or money to people after you die. It could be a gift but it also, of course, talks about something that comes from someone in the past, but it’s vague. My take on this, my definition might be, leaving a lasting impact that goes beyond time and place. In other words, none of us know how long we’re going to be on planet earth before we move on to whatever is next, depending on your views and your beliefs, but is there a way that you can reach out from the grave and still have an impact? To me, that’s what legacy is—being able to reach out from the grave and continue to have a positive impact on others.

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We all do this in different ways, in my case I’ve written six books that have been translated in multiple languages. For the last 33 years, I’ve been getting a little over a 100 articles a year published, so I’m pretty prolific. I’ve got a newsletter that’s been in publication for 30 years that has a large global reader base. I’ve given 3,000 keynote speeches around the world. This last year one of my audiences was 15,000. Obviously I’m putting a lot out there and so I’m trying to share wisdom and guiding principles that can help people.

last several years I’ve been taking all of the principles that I’ve been teaching, and all of the things, and all of the books and all the articles, and everything, and putting them into what I call a ‘Legacy Project’ meaning something that can help people beyond my time and place. In this case, for me, it was creating what I call the ‘Anticipatory Model’ and the ‘Anticipatory Learning System’. I created it to be what’s called ‘evergreen’ which means the principals are timeless, so they aren’t tied to news of the moment.

The reality is with all of that, they aren’t going to know anything that helped them would come from me necessarily. You know what? I don’t care. It doesn’t have to be tied to me at all to leave an impact and a legacy. It just has to be something that helped others and they’ve passed it on and it was used. It doesn’t have to be tied back to me to be important. I think there’s a selflessness that is part of a ‘leaving a legacy’ because usually when you leave money it’s very self-focused, uncle somebody or grandma somebody gave us, you know, whatever name you want to put on the end, gave us this money.

It’s small, in this case it’s got four components to it that have seven lessons in each. They are very short, three to four minute single concept videos of me. Then a rapid application tool of how you can apply each principal to whatever you do, your life, or your work. I won’t go into more detail on it. That kind of a program can go on without me having to be there, giving speeches, and doing all these things. Again, it’s kind of corralling, think of it as, in my mind, my greatest hit concepts, the ones that have made the biggest difference, and putting it into a system that doesn’t need me and can be translated into multiple languages, which of course, we’re doing. I actually, intentionally created a legacy system. Again, I might be unique, not all of us are authors and so on, but I’m just giving you an example of what I tried to do to keep that going.

Often the gift of money doesn’t do what the person leaving the money would have liked. Sometimes it becomes a curse, just like winning the lottery, so many people go broke in a short amount of time. The legacy to me, is always more than money and property because those things can be squandered. It’s something deeper than that. Again, I’m perhaps unusual in having been prolific in writing and speaking and all the work that I’ve done, but it doesn’t mean we cant do that at work and at home, and with the people that we influence, even if it’s with Cub Scouts, or with Girl Scouts or if it’s with coaching a basketball team, all of that is where you can pass on that wisdom, that then is part of your legacy. Then there’s one other element on a personal level I’ll share, and that is, again I’ve been doing this for quite a long time, and you know one of the hard trend certainties is that we don’t get younger, we continue to get older, and so for the

One other last thing that I’ll just mention regarding myself and legacy, because I’m using myself as an example just to stimulate, just to give people ideas. That is, when I started my company over 30 years ago, and I was speaking and consulting and taking my methodologies to all of these companies all around the world, I wanted to make sure that, again they were being spread not just to the adults, but also to the kids. I trained a number of presenters that go into elementary and junior high schools and teach the principals in the form of school assemblies. They really don’t know it’s connected to me. Probably none of them even heard my name doing it. Nobody knows I do it. If you look on my website you won’t see anything about it, because again, it’s about selfless giving, it’s not about, “Gee am I cool? Look what I’ve done,” but rather, “I need to know what I’m doing.” Basically I’m using a Johnny Apple Seed approach, which means, you just plant a lot of seeds, some will grow. I’ve one presenter, for example, that has been doing this for decades, and has been in, I think something like, 8,000 schools. If you take an average of about a 1,000 kids per school times 8,000 schools, just from that presenter alone, you have quite a few seeds that were planted. Been doing that for 32 years now. That is a way of building legacy as well. Obviously I thought about that when I was 30 something years younger than I am now. Legacy doesn’t have to be done by a gray-haired, older person, I’m actually suggesting that those Millennials and younger people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s start thinking about, “How do you start building your legacy even when you’re young?” because one of the predictable things about the future is, you’re going to get older.

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LR: Unfortunately, right? But I guess there are some pros. DB: The good thing about getting older is, we’ve never been smarter than we are at that point in time. You’ve got collective knowledge, collective wisdom. A young person can’t go out and take a seminar or take a class on wisdom and get much out of it. I mean, a lot of it has to be earned over time. We have strengths as we get older, of course, we have weaknesses too. We don’t know all the new technology, we don’t know all the new stuff, but what you want to do is take your strengths and do the mentoring and the sharing, and the coaching, and those kind of things to help young people with what they don’t have, because they have a lot of things we don’t have.

DB: Absolutely, absolutely. Frankly I think the things that have been written about, for example, Millennials and we have younger generations than that of course, too. A lot of that is very generalized, and some of it is really not all as true as we would think. We’re all humans on this planet and I think there are human wants, needs, desires, ambitions. If you get right down to the core of it, one thing about all of us, again as we get older, so if you say, Millennials are this, well this is what they are in this point in their life, but what happens when they’re 10 years older or 20 years older and 30 years older? They’re not doing what they were doing 10 or 20 or 30 years before. They have evolved. They have grown. They’ve got different needs, different wants, different desires because they go through the different stages of life. I think, again we put labels on things but we should always be careful of that.

LR: Yeah, absolutely. It’s interesting in my work, it’s LR: Oh yeah, I completely agree. I like it though. It seems as though a lot of Millennial types have actually pretty refreshing to see how many young a service, giving back mentality at a pretty young people are really interested in building a legacy. age, anyway, I like that.

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LR: Could you expand a little bit about documenting your legacy for the average person who may not be a writer or have a proclivity for writing or producing content? DB: Absolutely. First of all, I’ve been very fortunate, for example, my last book was a New York Times, Wall Street Journal bestseller and so on. The reason is, it’s filled with stories. Another part of legacy we’ve already talked about is, getting the values and the beliefs and the principles and sharing those. Story is one of the best ways to bring those to life. I think sharing those stories that have a ‘aha’ moment or a incite in it, are really important. We can do that, of course with our kids and with relatives, and with friends. You don’t have to be what would be considered, a professional storyteller, because let’s face it, some people are maybe better at stories than others, but story is a great way to share.

DB: Yeah, yeah and you know, I’ve got to say, I am definitely a baby boomer. Yet I know when I was in upper elementary school, I was volunteering to fix toys for kids that couldn’t afford them for Christmas, and giving back. I’ve been doing that all along. I think that really it’s not about a generation that either gives back or doesn’t give back, there’s always a percent of people in every generation that just have that and maybe it came from part of a values legacy from a grandma or grandpa or something or from a mom or dad, or maybe it just came from their own heart, or they’re like that. The thing that I think is important is for that behavior to inspire others that maybe didn’t have that in their life and they say, “Well you know what? I could do that too.” That’s where things get interesting and fun.

Let me tell you something that I did. I don’t know if it’s appropriate for this or not, but it’s part of sharing the story. That is, like I would say she was, and I’m talking about my mother now, she was maybe 79 or 80. I took the old super 8mm films that were taken way back when we were kids and converted them to something that could be shown on a television set, but none of them had any sound, and I put them all together. What I did without her knowing is, I had a little tape recorder set up, and I just said, “Hey let’s watch these because you haven’t seen these in decades yourself,” because you know, who watches all their old stuff, right? I sat with her and I asked her questions as it was on. There was some video of my mother and father, I was the oldest, before I was born, and I said, “Hey tell me again how did you meet dad?” and “Tell me again about this.” So here she is with all these memories out in front of her, telling me all these great stories. Some of them, by the way, I’ve never heard. What was I doing? I was capturing her voice. Now, neither she nor I knew that two years later cancer would end up becoming fatal for her. That was way back in the year 2000 and she’s no longer around, but I have her voice on record. You might ask yourself, if you’ve got an aging relative, have you captured their voice? Because once they’re gone, their voice is gone. My father passed away when I was much younger, many, many, many decades ago, and hey there’s no recordings of him, so his voice is forever gone. Thinking ahead of time, doing something like that, especially if you’ve got somebody that’s important to you that’s aging, it’s a way of not only capturing the story, but also capturing the voice.

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LR: How do you avoid getting overwhelmed by information? It seems that everyone has their social media accounts, and they post various things. How do you pick out the memories or the stories or things that are most important to pass on? Do you have any thoughts on that? DB: Yeah. I think one of the things is, within your social network you might say, “Hey why don’t we share a little more of the story rather just a moment?” Because sometimes it’s a picture and, “Hey I’m on vacation,” wherever they are you know? Hawaii. Well instead of just a picture and I’m on vacation in Hawaii, tell me a little something about what you’re doing or what you did? Make it a little bit more interesting. You actually are telling within your social media network, what you would like to get, and think, and by the way, they probably would like to get that too. One way to do it is, just like in life, be the example. Instead of just putting out things that frankly, take your time and have little value, you’ve got a little story. So, if you’re putting a picture, put a story with it rather than something that has little value, so that’s number one.

Secondly, technology is benign you know? It isn’t good or bad, it’s how we decide to use it, so we need to be a little bit more laser like as to how we us social media so we don’t get overwhelmed by it. Maybe there are people you’re following that are really not giving you what you want, they’re just taking up space. Well, maybe you should unfollow them. Maybe there are people that are not only showing you a picture of the new baby, but telling you a little bit about that new baby, and that new baby and that person is important to you, well you know that’s somebody you want to see. I think, it’s kind of like separating the wheat from the chaff a little bit so you’re not overwhelmed.

LR: Yeah. Let’s say you want to pass on a legacy to your kids or just build certain principles or stories, in your opinion, is there a way to determine what’s important? Let’s say, I don’t know, you went on five Hawaii vacations and they were all great. How do you determine experiences with impact to pass on versus ‘this was a fun vacation involving a fantastic pina colada’?

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DB: That’s a good question. Remember I said, I’d like a portfolio of unforgettable memories? Out of those five vacations, what were the unforgettable memories? Those are the ones that you want to share, because there’s a lot of stuff that isn’t because it could be easily forgotten. What are the unforgettable parts? Well, that narrows it down quite a bit. What’s the thing that you will always remember about Hawaii? I’m giving you an example of, ask better questions, you get better answers. Ask a better question of yourself, you know? “I spent two weeks in Hawaii, what was the thing that surprised me the most? What was the thing that touched my heart the most? What was the thing that I learned the most?” Well now, all of a sudden, you’re going to get some ideas, rather than, “I don’t know what to talk about. How do I know, it was just Hawaii?” Well no, it wasn’t just Hawaii, there were things that happened there. Again, ask better questions, you’ll start getting better answers.  Daniel Burrus is considered one of the World’s Leading Futurists on Global Trends and Innovation. The New York Times has referred to him as one of the top three business gurus in the highest demand as a speaker. He is a strategic advisor to executives from Fortune 500 companies helping them to develop game-changing strategies based on his proven methodologies for capitalizing on technology innovations and their future impact. He is the author of six books, including The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal best seller Flash Foresight as well as the highly acclaimed Technotrends.

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How Will You Be Remembered?

Let us help you “package up� important parts of you (such as your stories, principles, family heritage, and wisdom) so they aren't lost or forgotten. Specializing in books, videos, and audio interviews.

Discover what matters about your life. www.paragonroad.com

A Nation of Guardian Angels Why Bill Littlejohn, CEO of Sharp HealthCare Foundation, Believes Our Greatest Legacy is to Become a Guardian Angel by Laura A. Roser

“I

will be eternally thankful.” – “I cried with tears of joy finally holding our precious angel.” – “I knew my mother was in excellent hands.” These quotes are from a collection of over 40,000 stories gathered by Sharp HealthCare, San Diego’s leading health care provider. Sharp’s Guardian Angel Program gives grateful patients and their loved ones the opportunity to share their stories of gratitude about the doctors and nurses who served them in the hospital. But it goes far beyond good business. “When you give, you inspire others to follow you,” says Bill Littlejohn, CEO of Sharp HealthCare Foundation. Your giving ripples out and motivates others to do the same. “What you do today will impact people you will never know.”

The Experience of Philanthropy

“Philanthropy isn’t a taught experience,” Littlejohn continues. People must actively participate in giving to feel its impact. It’s not something you can simply teach a class about. Kids should be a part of the giving process from a young age. Littlejohn tells the story of having his family name put on a plaque after he and his wife gave to a hospital project. His family—he, his wife and children—gathered around the plaque and smiled for a photo that is now a part of their family scrapbook. “It wasn’t for me,” he said. “We wanted our name on that plaque for our children so that they would have a physical representation of our family’s heritage of giving and know that they played a small part in helping to improve patients’ lives.” Many are not aware of how much our country has been impacted by charitable giving of the past: libraries, museums, churches and hospitals. “Did you know Sharp

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HealthCare—now a $3 Billion hospital—first started with 12 people who had to go out and collect money to build a hospital on their own?” Littlejohn asked. So many think that our buildings and infrastructure were provided by the government. They were not. Most of our hospitals, health initiatives and equipment were privately funded. Wealthy families like the Rockefellers and Carnegies (and many more) had a vision for a better future and gave to ensure future generations would have parks to play in, universities to study in and hospitals to heal in. It’s not only about the ultra wealthy, either. Plenty of nonprofits are kept alive through the small donations and service of many. Year after year, the CAF World Giving Index lists the USA as one of the top three countries that has the highest percentage of its populace donate money, volunteer or help a stranger. This idea of being a “guardian angel” is ingrained in our country’s heritage.

Bill Littlejohn is the chief executive officer of the Sharp HealthCare Foundation and senior vice president of Sharp HealthCare, San Diego’s leading health care provider. In addition, Littlejohn provides fundraising counsel to the Grossmont Hospital Foundation, Coronado Hospital Foundation and all of Sharp’s entities. He lives with his wife and children in Solana Beach, California.

Honor Your Guardian Angel

It’s All About Vision

“There’s a difference between fundraising for need verses fundraising for vision,” says Littlejohn. When you have a vision, you don’t ask for funds to solve an immediate problem with no regard for how it fits in with the larger picture. With a vision, you ask for funds to build something great—a legacy that will impact generations. It’s the difference between asking for a new incubator in the ICU because a baby is going to die versus raising funds to transform health care or create a better community. The future is made great when vision combines with capability. Whether it’s helping an elderly man cross the street, giving funds to cure cancer or sharing an inspiring story with a stranger, your contribution matters – more than you may ever know. 

Sharp HealthCare gives grateful patients and their loved ones the opportunity to pay tribute to caregivers who made a difference during the patients’ visit or stay. Learn more at sharp.com/guardianangel

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Steve Jobs’s Greatest Regret: HIS FAMILY by Laura A. Roser

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alter Isaacson, Steve Jobs’s biographer, asked him if he had any regrets. Jobs said, “I wanted my kids to know me. I wasn’t always there for them, and I wanted them to know why and to understand what I did.” Isaacson went on to ask him if he was glad that he had kids, and Jobs said, “It’s 10,000 times better than anything I’ve ever done.” Steve Jobs, the man who many consider as one of the greatest business innovators of our time, placed the value of having kids as 10,000 times greater than anything he’s ever done. Yet, his biggest regret is that he wasn’t there for them and he wanted them to know why. Most people go into parenthood with good intentions. They want their kids to succeed and be happy and healthy. But life often gets in the way of good intentions. Bills have to be paid and you find yourself working too hard and becoming too busy to attend your son’s baseball games. You get a divorce and spend a year fighting over custody while your kids ping pong between mom’s and dad’s house and get in with the wrong crowd. You push your daughter to do her best in school and one day she storms out with her tattoocovered boyfriend proclaiming you an “overbearing ogre!” You try to give your kids the kind of emotional support they need, but your parents were always cold and distant and you just don’t know how to connect. Without the right model, it can be tough. Really tough. Still, creating a successful family culture isn’t impossible. In fact, with the right structure, your family legacy can be something great. But, it doesn’t happen by accident. You have to think it through, make it a priority and act in ways that are supportive to cultivating a happy, healthy family.

Benefits of Family Legacy Planning:

The aim of a solid family legacy plan is to mold family members who are:

l Capable. Members know their role in the family and contribute to the financial, social, spiritual and intellectual health of their family and the community. l Connected. Members care about their ancestors, extended family and descendants. They work hard to stay connected to the family and establish effective generational governance structures. l Grateful. Members recognize the many blessings and opportunities they have been given and focus on empowering each family member to become the very best. l Responsible. Members are accountable for their actions and mistakes and embrace their responsibility to give back. l Competent. Members develop the skills to handle and manage money, effectively utilize opportunities, and become productive, giving members of society.

Components of a Successful Family Legacy Plan:

With a little planning, a vision for the future, and a lot of love, you can turn your “mediocre” family experience into “extraordinary”. Let’s take a quick look at what you need to consider when constructing a Family Legacy Plan. Your Family Values: It is essential to identify joint family values and establish a home that outlines and supports what your family stands for. Your Family Mission, Vision and Mantra: This will serve as the foundation for your family—the rock upon which your children can build their decisions. Your Family Coat of Arms: This doesn’t need to be fancy, but it could be. (I have access to the royal sculptor for Windsor Castle, if you want to go that route.) Brainstorm ideas about a unique coat of arms or logo that will represent your family. We’ve found this component, when done right, can be extremely valuable to your family because it gives them a tangible identity—something they can see and connect with.

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Documenting Family Systems: List traditions to be passed down from generation to generation, systems for maintaining a healthy body, systems for managing money, business systems, and other knowledge that should be passed on. We teach our clients how to get the kids and other family members involved in creating a family knowledge base. Your Family Constitution: It may seem overly formal to some, but a family constitution can help solve major problems down the road by outlining the specific principles and precedents your family agrees to follow. While the vision and mission of your family is more of an overview, your family constitution lists specific rules that will be followed and respected. This isn’t about creating a “police state” family. It’s about setting clear expectations and establishing accountability and responsibility—crucial skills your children need to function at the highest level as adults. When everyone knows what is expected of them and that other members of the family care about their well-being and will hold them accountable for making poor choices (also praise them for making good choices!), they have incentive to avoid foolish actions and reach higher levels of self awareness. Yearly Family Goals: Each year, I would suggest you create a family theme as well as a concrete goal you’d like to accomplish together. How you want to implement your family goals depends on how your family interacts, ages of various members and interest. This is about having fun and growing and learning in a laid back environment.

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Weekly Family Meetings: In his book, The Secrets of Happy Families, Bruce Feiler writes about how a simple 20-minute weekly family meeting transformed his relationship with his teenage daughters. For the first couple meetings, his daughters were emotionally closed off and non-communicative. Then, they began to open up in a very big way. A good family meeting stimulates conversation, promotes love and creates a family that is more cohesive. If done right, your family meetings can be a fun, enjoyable time everyone looks forward to. This is also a time to address the day-to-day operations of the family and establish some routines. Archiving and Passing On Intellectual and Character Assets: Figure out how you want to share memories, document experiences and stories, compile meaningful family information and save it all in a way that won’t be lost or forgotten.

Living Without Regret

No family or system will ever be perfect, but creating a plan for your family keeps your most-important priorities from slipping through the cracks. One day, at the end of your life, someone may ask you what was your greatest regret. Hopefully it doesn’t result in the gut-wrenching realization that the thing that mattered most got the least attention. 

Laura A. Roser is the founder and CEO of Paragon Road, the #1 authority in meaning legacy planning. For more information about meaning legacy planning services, visit www.paragonroad.com.

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The Comfort of a Story How My Grandfather’s Memoir Changed My Life

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rowing up, I knew my grandfather had written a Korean War memoir, but I wasn’t particularly interested in reading it. I assumed it was boring, filled with war talk and little else. I didn’t think of it for years, until he passed away and we were cleaning out my grandparents’ house. Then there it was, over 1,000 typewritten pages underneath layers of dust and junk. By this point, I was curious about what he’d written. The memoir was a compilation of letters my grandfather wrote to my grandmother, and there was actually only a small amount of war talk. Instead, the pages were filled with enthusiasm, longing, creativity, and family stories. It was a time capsule that gave me a peek into the man my grandfather was when he was my age. It was my grandfather as I had never known him—young, romantic, loquacious. About 10 years after the war, he typed the letters, did some editing, and tried to get it published. He even took a sabbatical from his medical practice to work on it, but to no avail. I’m sure he was disappointed, and I wish I could tell him that he had at least one very satisfied reader. I got so much from his memoir. I learned new family stories and got to know my grandfather better. Most rewarding of all, I discovered how much we had in common. Everything from his ideas and thoughts to his writing voice felt familiar. The similarities between us made me feel more connected to him and less alone. It was also reassuring to know that someone so similar to me had turned out so well, with a rich family and career life. Even now, I return to his memoir every so often to see how my perception has changed. Recently, my husband and I had our first child, and along with the lack of sleep, fun and joy, came plenty of worries. Revisiting my grandfather’s memoir helped put things into perspective. In one section, my grandfather discusses the pain losing their Kids with parents who of 5-month-old reminisce and tell baby the year family stories, are more before. Just passed empathetic, have better having the 5-month coping skills, and higher mark, it’s hard for self-esteem me to imagine

“

”

(knock on wood and every other surface you can knock on!) losing a child at that age, or any age. Yet, not only were they able to make it through that difficult time, they went on to have three other children. Their resilience is incredibly comforting for me. My experience isn’t unique to me. Research backs up the many benefits of getting to know your family history. They teach you about survival and hardships, problemsolving and make you feel like you’re a part of something greater than yourself.

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For children Studies have shown that kids with parents who reminisce and tell family stories, are more empathetic, have better coping skills, and higher self-esteem. James Birren, one of the founders of the field of gerontology, also did a lot of guided autobiography work that showed when seniors share their stories, they have reduced rates of depression and anxiety. This kind of storytelling has also been known to improve cognitive function, reduce chronic pain, and further personal growth and self-discovery. So, it’s never too early or too late to share family stories. Even if you never know its impact on future generations, somewhere out there, there’s a future relative who will appreciate your foresight. I know I did. ď Ž

Rachael Rifkin is a ghostwriter/ personal historian who blogs about the traits we inherit, whether genetically or environmentally, and the qualities that we find only in ourselves. Her favorite things are reading, random acts of kindness, high fives, playing with her dogs, and laughing with her husband. www.lifestoriestoday.com/blog

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SPIRITUALITY AND BUSINESS

Why James I. Anthony Jr. Hires Based On Values and Leads with a Spiritual Focus by Laura A. Roser

“I

have strong opinions about legacy,” Jim Anthony announced on a recent phone call I had with him.

“Oh, really?” I asked, instantly intrigued. Many people I speak with have a vague idea about legacy at best. But, Mr. Anthony has thought about it at length. He was a student of Comparative Religion at Duke University and has spent a lot of time analyzing what he believes and what he would like to leave behind as his legacy. To Jim, the most important aspect of life is what is unseen, like one’s inner life—self development, values and a focus on God as a highly engaged creator/ redeemer/sustainer. “I had my period of personal doubt—agnosticism, atheism,” Jim says, “but I realized, through personal experiences, that there really is a unviversal force also known as God.” And Jim says it’s that faith-based belief system that has transformed his office into something special. “We care about people here,” he says. “I’ve had people leave for higher paying jobs and then come back, and take pay cuts a few years later because they couldn’t stand the shock of moving out of our familycentric, traditional, spiritual, values-based culture. Leaving the warmth of that womb and going out into a cold, hard-edged, and dark workplace where everybody’s out for themselves is just too much pain for some people to take. They’d rather opt for quality of life. We’ve had that happen so many times, it’s quite amazing actually.”

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Personal values take precedence over skills. “We can train someone to learn a skill,” says Jim, “but it’s quite difficult to teach values.” When Jim mentioned praying in the office, I asked, “So... what is the response to that? Do you get push back?” “People love it,” he said. “They are craving a sense of spirituality and meaning throughout life. It brings our working environment to a whole new level. But we’re never going to attract a militant atheist.” Jim chuckles. “We tell people from the get-go what our culture is about. I tell them we pray in this office. We talk about big topics. We are not politically correct. We are conservatives and someone who is a militant progressive or atheist simply isn’t going to be happy here.”

A Sacramental Paradigm Jim believes each individual is made up of four core components: spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical. He tells his children these are the four pillars on which they should build their lives and relationships. Intentional pursuit of continued health in each area turns you into a life-long learner and builds a strong character. “The really important stuff in the universe is what we can’t see,” says Jim, “and that is what’s influencing the seen world.” Time spent contemplating that unseen world leads to not only deeper understanding of oneself, but also better results in the seen world. “This is one of the things I love about the old orthodox Catholic high church worldview that’s called sacramental thinking,” he says. “A sacramental approach to the world says that I might see the leaves of the trees outside my window right now, but there is an unseen reality behind those leaves. If I contemplate what that unseen

reality is, it’s potentially life changing for me.” The leaves that have sprouted from the trees are collections of little machines—cells that are factories that take in carbon dioxide (a waste product) and process it as oxygen. Jim recommends asking the simple question, “How can I apply that to my life? What kinds of waste products are you taking into your life and how can a spiritual perspective change it into something that is productive and life giving? How can you take your tragedies or mistakes and use them for good?”

Legacy Transmission Mr. Anthony has set up a family donor advised fund that takes 20% of the profits from the primary family LLC and distributes the cash to charities that his family discusses and engages with. “We try to be personally involved with the charity so that we know the people and their purpose deeply,” he says.

A Spiritual Legacy Whether it’s talking with his children, hiring a new employee or meditating on the inner workings of trees, Jim Anthony has cultivated a deep belief in the power of the unseen. As he admits freely, he has had his struggles like everyone else, but his strong beliefs serve as the rock upon which he builds his legacy. n

James I. Anthony Jr. serves as CEO and Principal for Anthony Property Group. Jim’s responsibilities include: company vision and strategy, client representation, business development and chief investment strategist. Jim has one of the most diverse and distinguished commercial real estate track records in the Southeastern US. For over 35 years he has worked with nearly every property type in ten states. His expertise is highly sought after by institutions, businesses, investors, developers and government.

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5 Stories to Enhance Yo CHILDREN’S SELF-EST by Laura A. Roser

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everal weeks ago, I had a call with a man who has become inundated with too much information. “I have boxes and boxes of memories,” he said. “My mom saved everything when I was growing up—tests from grade school, yearbooks, certificates, art projects, soccer trophies—I’ve got it all.” He sighed. “My wife says I should just throw it all away, but what if I get rid of something that’s really important?” “Here’s the thing,” I told him, “future generations need the most important parts of you. You don’t want your kids to have to dig through eighteen boxes of memorabilia to try to figure out what matters.” Sure, we could take pictures of all his stuff and archive it, which is what I recommended. But in order for this man to have a purposeful legacy, he needs to highlight the essential pieces of his life that will most help his children and grandchildren. In his book, The Secrets of Happy Families, Bruce Feiler writes about the “Do You Know Scale.” The Do You Know Scale is a list of twenty questions asked of children in over four dozen families in a study conducted by Dr. Duke and Dr. Fivush at Emory University. What they found is that children who have an idea about their family’s past have higher levels of self-esteem, an internal locust of control, better family functioning, lower anxiety, fewer behavioral problems and better resiliency. It’s extremely important to document your roots to give you an anchor. Where did you come from? What are key family stories throughout the years? What is your family lineage? What are significant events that shaped your heritage? There are ways to document and archive this information that is engaging for your family. Ongoing family milestones—such as births, marriages, and graduations— should also be documented to give a sense of time and place to future generations. Doing this correctly can be a little tricky because you can become bogged down with too much inconsequential information like the man who called me. Does anyone care that he earned a B+ on one of his many spelling tests in fourth grade? It’s similar to saving a newspaper from last year. When you look back at the stock market fluctuations, who cares Apple was down 1.45%?

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Your STEEM

Essential Stories Your Kids Need To Know

So, what should you pass on? Photos and mementos are fantastic – especially if you’ve found the best ones and compiled them into a book or some sort of slideshow and then given those images further meaning by explaining who is in the photos, when they were taken, etc. But what’s really going to enhance the lives of your children are stories that give them a foundation of self value. The following are the top five stories your children need to know in order to build their self-esteem. Your goal should always be to create a positive continuing dialog with your children and these stories will get the conversation started.

Story 1: Life Before Them

Your children need to know how their parents met, what it was like for you as a child growing up and early memories you have about your childhood, teen years, what school you went to, etc.

Story 2: Their History

Your children need to know about each side of their family tree—their grandparents, great grandparents and anything you can tell them about where they came from. Why did you pick their name? What significance does it have? What was it like in the hospital when they were born?

Story 3: The Tough Times

Explain to your children about difficult times members of your family have gotten through. For example, how their great grandfather made it through the depression and started a business. Tell them about your personal struggles and how you persevered. This will give them a sense that they can preserver as well.

Story 4: The Happy Times

Tell your children about what makes you happy—your greatest loves, your passions, people you’ve loved and goals you’ve striven for and accomplished.

Story 5: Lessons to Live By

If you could only give your children 2 to 3 main principles to guide their lives, what would those be in short, concise statements? Now, think of a story to illustrate each principle and tell the story to reinforce it.

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Storytelling Guidelines Make It Fun

If you encounter above-average resistance (i.e. extreme eye rolling, whining or anger), don’t force your stories on your family. Wait until the time is right. Otherwise, you run the risk of your family associating your stories with drudgery.

make them feel like they’ve said a dumb thing or shouldn’t be allowed to respond.

Don’t Act Like a Dictator

Your kids will have their own ideas and want to develop into their own people. The idea of telling these stories is not to force your kids to follow your principles to the letter, but to give them a solid foundation upon which to Allow for Feedback base their growth. One hopes that if they are taught right The idea of telling your stories is to create open and grow up in a home with parents of high character, communication. If your kids have questions or would they will follow those footsteps, but they must be trusted like to make comments, be open and accepting. Never to act independently as they grow and mature. n

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Laura A. Roser is the founder and CEO of Paragon Road, the #1 authority in meaning legacy planning. For more information about meaning legacy planning services, visit www.paragonroad.com.

Questions from the “Do You Know Scale” study: 1. Do you know how your parents met? 2. Do you know where your mother grew up? 3. Do you know where your father grew up? 4. Do you know where some of your grandparents grew up? 5. Do you know where some of your grandparents met? 6. Do you know where your parents were married? 7. Do you know what went on when you were being born? 8. Do you know the source of your name? 9. Do you know some things about what happened when your brothers or sisters were being born? 10. Do you know which person in your family you look most like? 11. Do you know which person in the family you act most like? 12. Do you know some illnesses and injuries your parents experienced when they were younger?

13. Do you know some of the lessons that your parents learned from good or bad experiences? 14. Do you know some things that happened to your mom or dad when they were in school? 15. Do you know the national background of your family (such as English, German, Russian, etc)? 16. Do you know some of the jobs that your parents had when they were young? 17. Do you know some awards that your parents received when they were young? 18. Do you know the names of the schools that your mom went to? 19. Do you know the names of the schools that your dad went to? 20. Do you know about a relative whose face “froze” in a grumpy position because he or she did not smile enough? Source: Huffington Post: http://www. huffingtonpost.com/marshall-p-duke/ the-stories-that-bind-us-_b_2918975.html

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A Centi-Millionaire’s FOCUS ON FAMILY How Larry Mendelson, Chairman and CEO of Heico (NYSE: HEI and HEI.A), Puts His Family First by Laura A. Roser

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he Miami Herald estimated Laurans (“Larry”) Mendelson, 78, to be worth about $200 million. Larry says he doesn’t confirm, deny or comment on the exact amount he’s financially worth, but money means little to Mendelson without one major component: peace of mind. “Fame and fortune doesn’t appeal to me,” he said in his straightforward, humble way in a recent phone conversation I had with him. “People have big egos. They want to be recognized. You know, like Marilyn Monroe or a movie star. Look how important I am. Constantly in the news... And a bunch of them die either drinking, shooting themselves, or taking pills. That doesn’t bring happiness. What brings happiness, in my opinion, is peace of mind.” To Mr. Mendelson, the best thing in the world is feeling good about his decisions. He loves his wife, likes his life, enjoys what he’s doing and has a wonderful

family. “I’m not stealing from anyone. I’m not cheating anybody,” he said. “I’m a decent person. I work hard. I get the feeling of success because I put my heart and soul into it. I did my very, very best.” Sure, he’s earned a lot of money in his lifetime, which he certainly feels is a great blessing, but he’s always put peace of mind at the top of his list of values.

A Legacy Worth Emulating Larry believes the greatest responsibility is “to leave your family with good morals, good ideas, good role models, guide them when necessary, to be close to them and to love them.” There was a pause before Larry began speaking about his father. “My father was very intelligent,” Larry recounted. When Larry was younger, he went to his father and told him he wanted to be financially successful. “His advice was select something you like to do. Do it the best way you know how. Go all in. Do everything you can. Devote your time 24-7 and you will succeed. Don’t think of how much money you’re going to make and then go figure that. Just do what you love to do. When people do what they love to do, all of a sudden it works out.” The second thing his father emphasized is the mantra Larry has held close to his heart his whole life: peace of mind. It’s not only peace in knowing that you are honest and trustworthy, it’s also about focus. “If you’re constantly thinking, ‘I’ve got to make more money than he makes’ or ‘I’ve got to have a better position’ or ‘I’ve got to have the biggest house in the neighborhood because people won’t respect me’ or ‘I’ve got to have the biggest diamond ring’, you will never stop.” There is never an end.

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Laurans A. Mendelson is the Chairman of the Board and Chief Executive Officer of New York Stock Exchange-listed HEICO Corporation, cited as one of the 100 Best Small Companies by Forbes Magazine in 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014. Mr. Mendelson was also named one of the Top 100 Business Leaders by the South Florida Business Journal. He is a member of the Board of Governors of the Aerospace Industries Association in Washington, D.C.; immediate past Chairman of the Board of Trustees, a member of the Executive Committee and the Society of Mount Sinai Founders of Mt. Sinai Medical Center, Miami Beach; and Trustee Emeritus of Columbia University in The City of New York.

There is always a bigger home to buy and always But business isn’t all the family does together. someone who is wealthier or more well-known than “We love each other,” said Larry. “We take you. It’s a treadmill. vacations together. Every Sunday we have family dinner with all the grandkids and my sons and Larry’s family has always taken precedence in his their wives.” If a socialite is having an event during life. From the beginning, he dreamed of involving Sunday family time, Larry and his wife always his children in his business endeavors. When his decline. Sundays are sacred. “Some people go to sons were growing up, they contributed to the church on Sunday morning,” added Larry. “We go family real estate investment business. By the time to dinner on Sunday night and it draws the family his sons were in college, Larry switched the focus closer together.” from real estate to investing in public companies and his sons invested alongside him. Now Larry and As well as working hard and playing hard, the his sons run Heico, a multi-billion-dollar aerospace, Mendelson family is a philanthropic leader in the industrial, defense and electronics company that community, giving to universities, the arts and a they acquired in 1990 (back when it was only worth variety of other programs. n $25 million).

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A Legacy That Multiplies OVER GENERATIONS As Chairman and CEO of Zions Bank, Harris H. Simmons embraces a philosophy of saving, and considers success something more than what you earn.

By Amanda Kelly

“I

n my personal life,” Simmons says, “the most important legacy I’ll leave is the character of my kids. There is a lot of leverage in that. If your objective is to do something useful in the world, kids with strong values is a legacy that multiplies over generations.” A young Simmons started his banking career at 16 years old when he came to work for his father. “The profession found its way into the DNA of my family and spans over four generations,” he says. It was a tumultuous time for the financial industry when Simmons’s father began his career—the 1929 stock market had crashed and the worst economic crisis of modern times would beset the market through the Depression. In spite of this, Zions First National Bank prospered and in the 1960s, the older Simmons led a group of investors to acquire majority control from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Subsequently in 1965, the bank’s parent organization, Zions Bancorporation, became a publicly traded company. “My father used to talk about his work and I had always liked the idea of a profession where I could make a difference and help people.”

Zions has roughly 200,000 business customers, and a majority are small- to medium-sized businesses. Simmons prides himself on Zions’s commitment to small business loans. “We do more proportionally than virtually any other large bank in the US and we focus on helping entrepreneurs and family-owned businesses succeed. That’s highly satisfying for me as I consider what I’m doing with my life.” A heavy-lettered quote by Zions founder Brigham Young decorates the wall at the main branch in Salt Lake City. It reads: “If you wish to get rich save what you get. A fool can earn money, but it takes a wise man to save and dispose of it to his own advantage.” Simmons has framed his legacy in this tradition, cultivating in his children a strong appreciation for savings. “There is so much wisdom to that quote,” he says. “Over the years, I’ve witnessed people who are pretty good at earning money but who are not good at building a solid financial foundation.” “In all of my experience,” he continues, “what I’ve seen is that financial success isn’t derived from how much money one makes; it is derived from how disciplined one is at savingand making whatever one has work for them. I feel strongly about this and have tried to teach my kids the same.”

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Harris H. Simmons is the Chairman and CEO of Zions Bank. He has served on numerous boards in the Salt Lake City area and he is the past chairman of the American Bankers Association. Simmons, a lifelong Utah resident, lives in Salt Lake City with his wife and four teenage children.

His interests go far beyond bank savings and sums — Simmons has an affinity for classical music, a gift passed down from his parents. He also collects art – primarily western landscapes, including those of renowned Utah artist LeConte Stewart. “I frequently saw him in Kaysville where I grew up, painting old barns and landscapes. A variety of his works now adorn the walls of my home. Great art, music and literature are a really important dimension of life.” Simmons doesn’t have a firm retirement date in mind.

Simmons and his wife have four teenage children. He isn’t certain whether his kids will find their way into the family business or not, but he adds that it is not something that concerns him much either. “I care more about what kind of people they are,” he explains. “They’ve grown up in a reasonably privileged home and this is not something that I ever want them to take for granted. My wife and I emphasize the importance of doing well in school, honesty, working hard and other values like these.”

“The whole idea of retirement is a bit strange to me. It’s something that we don’t do a very good job of preparing peoplefor—of how to continue contributing postretirement.When I do retire from my day job, I expect I will find myself working in some fashion until I can’t get out of bed anymore.” He draws from his childhood experiences in Boy Scouts when determining his overall personal and professional success—”It may sound trite, but in my observation there are people who end up as net-takers in life and the principle I’ve strived for is to live my life as a netcontributor, to leave the campground in better shape than I found it.” n

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A Legacy Before Its Time Why Victoria Woodhull, The First Woman to Run for President in 1872, Remains the Heroine the World Almost Forgot By Laura A. Roser

“W

hen men attempt bold gestures, generally it’s considered romantic. When women do it, it’s often considered desperate or psycho.” – Sarah Jessica Parker

The quote above may be the modern Sex-in-the-City reaction to a bold woman, but in the early Victorian era a bold woman was cast as something more sinister, threatening the very fabric of society, rather than desperate or psycho. She was shamed into acquiescence then obsolescence. Neal Katz is the award-winning author of Outrageous: The Victoria Woodhull Saga, Volume One: Rise to Riches. He is an active feminist and gives half of the earnings from his books to help foster equal treatment of women. He says, “Ultimately Feminism leads to better treatment of all humans.”

legacy. Not until just recently. Only now is Victoria finally starting to get the credit and proper place in history she deserves. She was demonized in the American press, presented as harpy or evil satanic figure for challenging the male establishment – especially conservative religious elements. When she left the United States, broken and disappointed having lost a tremendous fortune, she reclaimed comfort and prosperity in England as a proper lady – and continued fomenting radical women empowerment. To protect her standing as Lady Martin, Victoria suppressed through a cadre of lawyers any news articles, word, or mention of her name. So, Victoria herself prevented contemporaneous recognition throughout her later life.” Neal smiled. “And little sister Tennessee lived like a Queen as the Countess of Montserrat (the title bequeathed by Queen Victoria) outside of Lisbon, Portugal. See why I’ll need four volumes?”

Ms. Victoria Woodhull, the subject of his four-volume historical fiction series, is someone I had never heard of before I ran into Neal at a writer’s party in California last summer. I remember flipping through a copy of Neal’s book and asking him, “So, who is this Victoria Woodhull?”

The first biography about Victoria, The Terrible Siren, by Emanie Sachs, was written in 1928 following Victoria’s death. Neal laughed after he said the name. “I guess 1928 was still too early to accept a powerful Woman’s voice.” Neal looked at me intently. “I think that anyone who studies her will learn that she was an incredible forerunner for Feminism, social responsibility, and ultimately Humanism.”

“Oh, someone you will be surprised you didn’t know.” Mr. Katz’s blue eyes sparkled with passion. “She’s the first woman to run for president in the United States,” he said. “First woman to address Congress. She and her sister became he first women to open a brokerage firm on Wall Street and the first women to own and publish a newspaper…” He paused for dramatic effect. “All in the 1870’s!”

Neal first became interested in Victoria because his own struggles, he felt, mirrored many of hers. When I asked him what makes for a great legacy, Neal did not hesitate. “1. Passion for your cause or focus; 2. continuous dedication to excellence; and 3.allowing love to guide you.”

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of this woman was her undauntable drive to boldly state her opinions in a time when radical ideas (especially from a woman) inspired great fear and social alienation. In 1870, the Sister’s newspaper, Woodhull and Claflin’s Weekly, advocated women’s suffrage, equal pay for equal work, birth control, legalization of prostitution, and free love. The last an argument for full legal rights for women, not a salacious cause of promiscuity. Their publication also printed the first United States translation of Karl Marx’s The Communist Manifesto. I recently had a chance to sit down with Neal at his office and ask him some more detailed questions about this fascinating woman. “Tell me about Victoria’s legacy,” I said as I pushed the record button on my iphone. Neal nodded his head. “Astonishingly, there really was no

“Love is the strongest fuel we as human beings can obtain and utilize,” Neal confidently stated. From the development of multi-million-dollar businesses to the creation of his own wine label to becoming an award-winning author, Neal has learned to act out of a desire to show love and accomplish the very best expression of himself. He believes his dedication to excellence— even with small things, like weeding his garden—has made all the difference. Besides writing the three other books in the Victoria Woodhull saga, and possibly the screenplays to a television series based on the novels, Neal is also passionate about big ideas to improve the lives of many. He has launched a nonprofit, Conscientious Credit Funding Organization (ccfoglobal.org) to fund the creation of millions of new jobs through an innovative application of a sustainable an renewable funding model to renew or build infrastructure, deploy green energy, produce jobs and promote sustainable technology. n

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Neal Katz is the author of Outrageous: The Victoria Woodhull Saga, Volume One: Rise to Riches. He is a semi-retired, serial entrepreneur with a passion for women rights. He practices Yoga, meditates daily, has taught A Course in Miracles, produced Oregon wines under the LOVE, a Wine Co. label, enjoys reciting Vedic sutras, and writes his own inspirational poetry. His second book in the Victoria Woodhull saga, SCANDALOUS: Fame, Infamy, and Paradise Lost which covers the Presidential election of 1872 is set to be released summer of 2016. To learn more about Victoria and her sister, Tennessee, and about Neal, visit www.thevictoriawoodhullsaga.com. 2016 Winner of four National Awards and one International Award. : IBPA Ben Franklin, Bill Fisher Award for Best First Book by a Publisher, and the IPPY Award for Best Historical Fiction. Also named a Finalist in the Historical Fiction category of the 2016 Next Generation Indie Book Awards, and second place winner of the IndieReader Discovery Award for best Fiction. Recently named Best New Fiction by the International Book Awards.

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Are Your Kids Doomed? By Laura A. Roser

I

t’s normal for older generations to talk about how great things were back when they were kids. People were honest. Families had values. Kids were respectful. And so on. But, it is my belief that now happens to be a more extreme time of chaos simply because we are shedding so many old traditions in favor of new, experimental models. I’ve spoken with quite a few childless singles and couples and there is a rising concern about having the ability to raise children correctly. One man told me he was terrified to have children because he didn’t think he could give his kids the kind of upbringing his parents gave him. “When I grew up,” he said, “we lived in a close neighborhood. All the kids played together. I was surrounded by my cousins and extended family. I just don’t see many options to replicate that experience.” The concept of family or community is changing from what it used to be. According to the U.S. census, in 1960, 72% of people ages 18 or older were married. Today 50.2% are. Studies show that less people are attending church or identifying themselves with a specific religion. Neighborhoods aren’t what they used to be either. Recent

data from the General Social Survey found that only 20% of Americans spent time with their neighbors in the last thirty days. Four decades ago, a third of the population hung out with their neighbors twice a week. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but where do you find your village? Certainly, your neighbors are too busy. And if you don’t go to church, where does your village of people with common values, traditions and beliefs exist? It’s not all bad. There are reasons people are moving away from tradition. Over time as society changes, it makes sense to explore new models. But, you don’t want your family to fall victim to wishy-washy thinking. You need solid guidelines and principles to help mold your family. If your kids don’t get direction from you, they’ll get it by accident—from friends, school, the Internet or whomever crosses their path. It’s not enough to tell your kids to follow the golden rule or be a good person. What about when your children have an ethical dilemma? How do they solve it? How are they going to handle sex? What is the value of work? What about spiritual development? How will they handle failure? How are they going to treat others? How are they going to deal with dishonesty or manipulation? Are they going to be giving? How will they be motivated to follow their passions? How will they know when to follow the rules and when to break them? Someone needs to teach them this stuff. When children are growing, they need a tribe to create a sense of belonging and a structured belief system with traditions and rituals that help them grow into competent adults. If this is not provided, it chips away at their sense of security and they search for their own place of belonging with, sometimes, disastrous

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?

The news of the day, including destructive and violent acts by young people who don’t know how to behave in a civilized society. Society has provided them no rituals by which they become members of the tribe, of the community. All children need to be twice born, to learn to function rationally in the present world, leaving childhood behind. I think of that passage in the first book of Corinthians: “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

results – especially if their easiest option for a “tribe” is a gang or another harmful group. Or they simply get caught up in a sense of feeling lost, unable to move forward and become the capable adults they were meant to be.

Putting Aside Childish Things In The Power of Myth, Bill Moyer’s asks Joseph Campbell about mythology in modern society. The following is the interchange between the two. Moyer’s words are italicized to differentiate between the two speakers: “What happens when a society no longer embraces a powerful mythology?” “What we’ve got on our hands. If you want to find out what it means to have a society without any rituals, read The New York Times.” And you’d find?

That’s exactly it. That’s the significance of the puberty rites. In primal societies, there are teeth knocked out, there are scarifications, there are circumcisions, there are all kinds of things done. So you don’t have your little baby body anymore, you’re something else entirely. When I was a kid, we wore short trousers, you know, knee pants. And then there was a great moment when you put on long pants. Boys now don’t get that. I see even five-year olds walking around with long trousers. When are they going to know that they’re now men and must put aside childish things? What are some of the coming of age rituals common in our society? There’s graduation—from elementary school, middle school, high school, and college. There’s learning to drive at 16. Religions have traditions, such as a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Judaism. But, more and more, traditions of lifecycle development are disappearing. People are getting married later, if at all. In 2004, Kathleen Shaputis wrote a book about the “boomerang generation,” where kids go off to college, graduate and move back in with their parents—a trend that has steadily increased in the U.S. since 1981.

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There is a pervading mentality that the purpose of parenthood is to protect children from the harsh realities of becoming an adult. But, the problem with this kind of thinking is that no one knows when kids have transitioned into adulthood. It’s now common in our culture for people reach their 20s (or even 30s) without ever learning to cook, manage their finances, or live on their own. This is how a book like Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps has become a New York Times Bestseller. It covers everything from buying toilet paper in bulk to how to avoid hooking up with people at the office to how to find a good car mechanic.

In order to grow into happy, healthy adults children need to be taught how to:

I recently heard about a college orientation meeting in which all the parents were gathered together in a room. The speaker told the parents that their kids were adults now—in college! It was the parents’ responsibility to stay out of the business of their children and let them go through school without parental meddling.

One of the best ways to encourage the development of your children is to create your own set of rituals and traditions.

1. Demonstrate an ability to earn their own money. 2. Motivate themselves to achieve personal goals. 3. Create a solid sense of self not wrapped up in issues related to wealth. 4. Overcome setbacks and learn from failure. You will undoubtedly have your own set of criteria. Whether you’re wealthy or not, doesn’t matter. Your kids need a path to becoming independent, self-sustaining adults.

When your son or daughter graduates from high school, for example, what are traditions that can help with a

Launching Your Kids Right Coventry Edwards-Pit wrote a book called Raised Healthy, Wealthy & Wise, in which she and her team interviewed a series of children of exceptionally wealthy families. In their interviews, they determined that there were four main components that successfully launched children into adult life.

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transition to adulthood? Certainly, many high school graduates go off to college. But what other family rituals can you put into place to signify the transition? Maybe a graduation trip. A special celebration dinner. A letter from the parents with advice for the early years of adulthood. These are the exciting things your kids will look forward to. But, there should also be the not-so-exciting things about growing up, such as they now have to pay for their own housing, buy their own clothes and so on. The more specific you can be with your rituals, the better. Perhaps you have special china that you only use for family wedding festivities, your formal Christmas dinner and for

graduations and other important celebrations. Maybe with each child’s graduation, you tell the story of how their great-great-grandmother struggled to earn her degree (the first person in your family to earn one) and put food on the table during the Great Depression and now they are carrying on the family legacy by following in her footsteps. Maybe you have a special song or poem you create for each child to commemorate the new transition. Or a piece of jewelry they can use as a reminder of the event and to pass on to their children one day.

Laura A. Roser is the Research your heritage. Where did your ancestors originally founder and CEO of come from? What kinds of Paragon Road, the #1 traditions did they have? One of authority in meaning my friends created a website for legacy planning. For the Jewish community which tells more information about of the tradition of giving children a Hebrew name (in addition to meaning legacy planning their given name) as a way to services, visit encourage the child’s growth www.paragonroad.com. and development. What sorts of traditions can you create or become a part of? Another family I know will not allow their sons to get their driver’s license until their have earned their Eagle Scout. Start with the kinds of values you want your children to cultivate as adults and create traditions around that. There are common age milestones marking new levels of maturity. Twelve. Sixteen. Eighteen. Twenty-one. Twentysix (when some psychologists say the brain has become fully developed). Envision the ideal path. Should your children do their own laundry at age 9 and learn to cook by 12? Should they have their first job or entrepreneurial endeavor by 15? Should they spend their 20s traveling and exploring potential passions? What about college? What about marriage and children? When is the right time? They will begin to develop their own viewpoints on all of this and your role as a parent is not to force them, but to give them space to become themselves. Still, a structure for moving from one life phase to another will give them a sense of time and place that has all but been lost in our culture of adulthood reality avoidance. There is a time to be young and irresponsible. There is a time to leave the nest. There is a time to put aside childish things and your kids will be far better off if you help them step into the joy and pain of becoming a full-fledged adult. n

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Super Agent’s Focus on Athletes’ Legacies Instrumental

in His Own Turnaround By Mike Bishop, JD

L

eigh Steinberg is the sports super agent who has represented hundreds of top athletes over four decades, the real life Jerry Maguire upon whom the film was based. Leigh has been quite open about his personal challenges with alcohol. He has detailed how he and his partner made tens of millions of dollars in selling their agency while continuing to work with top talent. Nevertheless, after a series of personal misfortunes involving his father, children, wife and even his home, Leigh’s life spiraled downwards ending up in financial ruin driven by his alcoholism and ultimately leading him into bankruptcy. He began showing up in the press again a couple of years ago after completing sobriety treatment. The setting of many of these interviews was much more modest this time - a small condo in Orange County where he lived, a stark contrast from his Glory Days as the world’s first and leading super sports agent. Although Leigh lost himself to drinking for some time, his previous clients and friends never gave up on him. This, he contributes to his lifelong belief in the importance of investing in relationships and dedicating efforts to things that have lasting value. “My father raised me with two core values,” Steinberg says, “one was to treasure relationships - especially family - and the second was to try to make a meaningful difference in the world and help people who couldn’t help themselves.” From Leigh’s childhood, his father taught him the importance of how fortunate he was to be living in the U.S. in good health and circumstances.

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Leigh William Steinberg has spent his 41year career as an American sports agent representing over 300 professional athletes ranging from football to baseball to boxing to basketball. Steinberg is credited as the real life inspiration of the sports agent from Cameron Crowe’s 1996 film Jerry Maguire.

Leigh carried this philosophy with him in his professional life. All athletes that he represents must commit themselves to giving back to the community in some way, such as proactively working against an injustice the client had felt growing up. “You have a chance to leave legacy,” Steinberg insists. “You have a chance to address central issues that have always bothered you, and to actually make a real difference.” This emphasis on athletes giving back to their community is just the right thing to do according to Leigh. “It’s less about branding and more about empowerment of the young man to see that he’s got the ability to move beyond self-absorption to make a real impact.” But it also helps them to position themselves for a career beyond sports. Everyone has heard of the star athlete who soon after retirement loses it all and returns to their old neighborhood with few life skills. In contrast, Leigh’s approach helps clients be aware of the future value that their brand, their contacts and their current income can provide them in the future. In addition to the stereotypical second career as

Leigh wrote a best-selling book, Winning with Integrity, providing insight on how to improve life through non-confrontational negotiation. Furthermore, Leigh’s most recent book, The Agent: My 40-Year Career of Making Deals and Changing the Game, details his decades of dominance in the sports industry and sheds light on overcoming his personal struggles to launch his comeback. Leigh has been rated the #6 Most Powerful Person in the NFL according to “Football Digest” and the #16 Most Powerful Person in Sports according to “Sporting News.” He resides in Newport Beach and has three children.

‘sportscaster’, Leigh cites Brett Jones, a former football player client who now heads up multi-billion dollars asset management firm in the San Francisco Bay area (named Northgate). Leigh most recently made news when he represented this year’s top draft quarterback, Paxton Lynch, his highest profile client since his return. Although now 67 years old, Leigh is very much in a ramp up phase. He and his clients have several projects in place, from community outreach efforts to advocating sustainable environmental causes to a venture capital fund. The goal is that it must offer a lasting, positive impact on society.n

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Timeless Wisdom: “Condemned To Be Free”

An Existentialist’s Search for Purpose by Laura A. Roser

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ean-Paul Sartre was a French Philosopher born in 1905. Although a recognized intellectual, he is perhaps best known for his fictional works and plays, which are richly symbolic and espouse his strong views against the existence of a god and a person’s responsibility to define herself. The Roman Catholic Church was not impressed with his atheist views and placed his work on their list of prohibited books (Index Librorum Prohibitorum) in 1948. Sartre won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1964, but refused it, remarking, “a writer should not allow himself to be turned into an institution.” He believed all people are free to create themselves and not defined by laws or morals from a divine being. It is in facing this realization that a man or woman can begin the journey of defining what morality means to him or her. In his work Existentialism is a Humanism, Sartre lays out his philosophy of self-definition: “What do we mean by saying that existence precedes essence? We mean that man first of all exists, encounters himself, surges up in the world – and defines himself afterwards. If man as the existentialist sees him is not definable, it is because to begin with he is nothing. He will not be anything until later, and then he will be what he makes of himself. Thus, there is no human nature, because there is no God to have a conception of it. Man simply is. Not that he is simply what he conceives himself to be, but he is what he wills, and as he conceives himself after already existing – as he wills to be after that leap towards existence. Man is nothing else but that which he makes of himself. That is the

first principle of existentialism. And this is what people call its “subjectivity,” using the word as a reproach against us. But what do we mean to say by this, but that man is of a greater dignity than a stone or a table? For we mean to say that man primarily exists – that man is, before all else, something which propels itself towards a future and is aware that it is doing so. Man is, indeed, a project which possesses a subjective life, instead of being a kind of moss, or a fungus or a cauliflower. Before that projection of the self nothing exists; not even in the heaven of intelligence: man will only attain existence when he is what he purposes to be. Not, however, what he may wish to be. For what we usually understand by wishing or willing is a conscious decision taken – much more often than not – after we have made ourselves what we are. I may wish to join a party, to write a book or to marry – but in such a case what is usually called my will is probably a manifestation of a prior and more spontaneous decision. If, however, it is true that existence is prior to essence, man is responsible for what he is. Thus, the first effect of existentialism is that it puts every man in possession of himself as he is, and places the entire responsibility for his existence squarely upon his own shoulders.” The thing I like best about Sartre are his views taken from his 1948 essay “Qu’est-ce que la littérature?” (What is Literature?) in which Sartre writes that literature is not a self-indulgent act by the writer, but a moral activity to enhance the freedom of humanity. It, as with the creation of any art, is necessary in a free society. The freedom to express oneself creatively is in direct relation to the freedom to define oneself within a culture. n

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