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Breast cancer

Getting through: How 8 survivors battled breast cancer

Peggy J. Noonan
for USA TODAY Modern Woman
Paulette Kouffman Sherman, shown with son Noble Sherman, 7, found solace in writing during cancer treatments.

After a breast cancer diagnosis comes the challenge of treatment. Chemotherapy, surgery, radiation and other procedures can be exhausting and overwhelming. Yet somehow, women find the strength to endure and overcome.

But how do they do it? How do they get through? Eight inspiring women share how they survived their breast cancer journeys with the help of unique encouragements and small comforts.

A New Page

Finding a new mission helped Brooklyn, N.Y., psychologist Paulette Kouffman Sherman get through a lumpectomy, eight chemotherapy treatments and 33 radiation treatments to treat Stage 2 triple negative breast cancer three years ago at the age of 41.

While walking along the beach one day, she says she prayed: "I have breast cancer. Did I do everything I was here to do?" She had accomplished some things, she knew, but was it enough?

That's when she received an odd — and weirdly specific — message from beyond: "You have a legacy of 22 books to publish." It sounds totally bizarre, she acknowledges, but that message became her new mission.

"I started writing during my treatment," Sherman says. "I knew my experience would help other women get through this."

"My mission is stronger than my cancer" became her mantra, and it worked. "I found that writing was really therapeutic to me," she says. Pouring her feelings out on paper helped her gain perspective and make some meaning of the experience. And this "narrative therapy" helped her feel empowered, like the heroine of her journey.

Now, three years after her diagnosis, her 21st book is slated to be published in May 2016 by Llewellyn Worldwide.

Retail Therapy

Breast cancer survivor Jessica Cudlin of Columbus, Ohio, used retail therapy to help her through cancer treatments.

"Shopping was therapeutic," she says. "I ended up buying a lot of new household items and redecorating my place." She also bought lots of "comfy and warm clothing to make my fall-to-winter treatments more bearable."

Adding to her success was her supportive network of friends, family and colleagues. "The company I work for stood behind me every day and provided whatever I needed to be comfortable," she says, adding that people "came out of the woodwork" — and their comfort zones — to help her through treatment.

Creative Relief

When Susan Reif, author of 39 Things to Make A Cancer Patient Smile, underwent a lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiation treatment in 2006 and 2007, she was "bowled over" by the support she received from the people in her life.

The writer and educational trainer from Tuxedo Park, N.Y., still has a basket full of cards sent by people in her support network. "While you're using every ounce of energy you can to get through that fight, it's nice to know there's an outside world going on around you," she says.

One set of cards came from a creative friend who took Reif on a "virtual voyage" to notable travel destinations around the world. Reif's friend picked postcards from famous places and wrote messages on the back describing the imaginary adventures she and Reif were having there.

Reif never knew where the next card would take her, but anticipating its arrival and enjoying the game helped her cope with the rigors of treatment. "It was fabulous," Reif says.

Music Matters

Michelle Ward was 33 when she was diagnosed with Stage 2 breast cancer (later changed to Stage 1) in November 2011. The Brooklyn, N.Y., career coach broke the news to friends, clients and readers of her popular blog (whenigrowupcoach.com) in a really unique way: playing a pink ukulele.

The funny song, "I Got Boob Cancer," became a viral hit that was picked up and shared by Vulture and other websites.

New to the ukulele and by no means a professional songwriter, Ward says, "It was a relief to deliver the bad news with a light touch. … I was surprised to have such comfort in the writing and singing of these songs."

Through her treatment, which included two lumpectomies, four rounds of chemotherapy, bilateral mastectomy — or as Ward calls it, "boobal removal" — followed by surgery to swap her expanders for implants, Ward continued to write songs and play her pink ukulele.

"By keeping my sense of humor and going back to my roots in musical theater, I was able to emotionally heal," she says.

There When You Need It

Angela Fuentes pays forward the support she received during treatment through The Step Sisters, a Virginia-based organization that helps breast cancer patients.

Being supported by family and friends "was probably 90 percent of what got me through my treatments," says Angela Fuentes, president of The Step Sisters, a Virginia-based organization that raises money to improve quality of life for those battling breast cancer.

Fuentes' two sons were 2 and 5 when she was diagnosed in 2008 at age 34. She went through a double mastectomy and four rounds of chemotherapy, she says, but the young mom had a support network that helped her and her husband navigate the challenging time.

People pitched in to provide everything from "little pick-me-ups left on my porch and in my mailbox" to full meals — so many that she had to buy another refrigerator. Now she strives to "pay forward" the generosity and kindness that was shown to her family.

Brighten Your Day

After a diagnosis of estrogen-positive breast cancer in situ (BCIS), Gari Julius Weilbacher underwent seven weeks of radiation treatments — "35 visits of four zaps each" — followed by five years of the prescription drug tamoxifen.

The communications consultant, who lives near Philadelphia with her husband and two daughters, says that during treatment, she didn't wear makeup or dress up much at first. She was taking a mental break and "honoring the fact that I had cancer and how very serious cancer is."

But one day, on a whim, she picked up a purple sweater and periwinkle corduroy pants. The first time she wore her new outfit out to lunch she discovered that her bright clothes affected the whole atmosphere. "The quality of our interaction was so normal," she says. "(Just) two people having lunch together."

She began to notice that when she wore her regular clothes, people's expressions revealed their concern for her, a cancer patient. But when she dressed in bright, colorful clothing, the attitudes changed.

"When I wore this outfit or similar ones, people worried less about me. If they worried less about me, I worried less about me," Weilbacher says. "People treated me with more optimism, and when they were more energetic, so was I. It became a great feedback loop."

Just Keep Swimming

Swim instructor Lesa Behrens relied on her lifelong passion -- swimming -- to help her through cancer treatments.

Lesa Behrens received a breast cancer diagnosis seven years ago as a 40th birthday present.

The swim instructor from Huntington Beach, Calif., had been swimming competitively since age 5 and taught the skill to people of all ages, from 4 months to 72 years. Not even chemotherapy could take this passion away.

She continued teaching after she lost her hair and didn't hide the effects of treatment from her students. "It was a way for me to show others that what I was going through was not a death sentence. I knew that I could help change the way people looked at (cancer treatment)," she says.

Behrens was proven right when a student learned that her mother had breast cancer. The young girl told her mom, "If Mrs. Lesa can do it, you can do it, too. It's a piece of cake." That golden moment made "everything I went through totally worth it," says Behrens.

There's an App for That

At the age of 32, Lisa Oxidine, a mother of two from Cornelius, N.C., found a lump in her breast. She was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy and chemotherapy.

In 2012, when she was 46, doctors found that Oxidine's cancer had spread to her lungs, liver, hip bones and the tissue surrounding her heart. She was diagnosed with a particularly aggressive form of breast cancer, HER2-positive metastatic breast cancer (MBC). Women with MBC typically receive treatment for the rest of their lives.

Oxidine has scans every three months to make sure her cancer hasn't grown. The scans are stressful, but relaxation tools provided by a free iPhone app, 4HER, help her get through it. The app also provides information on HER2-positive breast cancer and connects patients.

"Speaking with someone who has been successful in their journey helps you approach everything in a whole new way," she says.

Find more great articles like this in Modern Woman magazine, on newsstands now through Nov. 28.
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