Sarah Palin Interviews Donald Trump and It Is Bananas

America's two greatest, most humble servants finally met on camera: Sarah Palin scored a ten-minute sit-down with leading GOP presidential hopeful Donald Trump, and ... well, it was really something. On the set of her One America News Network show On Point with Sarah Palin—which looks like a fake news broadcast you'd see announcing a Grizzlicane on a SyFy original movie—Palin told her viewers she's been a fan from the beginning: "I've said it since the day he made the sacrifice to hit the campaign trail." (Emphasis mine. How selfless of Donald Trump to raise his speaking fees and make us all say his name all day!) She went on to call his campaign "avant-garde," which proves she can mangle more than one language, and then said: "He wants to connect with those who are going to show up at the polls and elect the leader of the free world." So he wants to reach ... voters? How unique and startling! And this is all before they went live to the interview. This is the part where they could have done another take. Never change, Sarah Palin.

The interview itself is at least twelve different kinds of bananas, never more so than when they start talking about The Bible. Sarah bemoans the "gotcha questions*" the media are asking Trump about the book that he loudly and frequently calls his favorite (you know, questions like "What's your favorite part of The Bible?" or "Do you prefer the strict, authoritarian first half of The Bible, or the peaceful, inclusive second?" or "Can you say one single thing about The Bible?") and suddenly Trump is demure: "You know, there are certain things that you and me and a lot of other people like to keep personal." Definitely. A real pair of Garbos, these two. And then he says he loves The Bible twenty more times and leaves to stick his name on another building in fifty-foot letters. God bless America.

Also, Trump is completely out of focus through the whole thing. It's amazing. Here it is. See how far you can get.

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*You know, a real gotcha question about The Bible and Donald Trump's love of it might go something like "There's a character in your favorite book The Bible named Jesus, and Jesus says a lot of stuff about giving away all your money and loving your enemies and welcoming strangers. Did you read that part of your favorite book The Bible? Are you aware that your favorite book The Bible contains that part? Do you have any thoughts about that part of your favorite book The Bible?" If either of these people ever got asked an actual question that called for reflection and depth, they would be praying for a Grizzlicane.