1.
4-yr-old saw picture of me pregnant. I explain that she was inside me. She thought for a bit then said: "I never want to do that again."
2.
*pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let’s go to the hospital
3.
3-year-old: Can the baby come out to play? Pregnant wife: No, honey. She's not ready yet. 3-year-old: Wife: 3-year-old: Babies are lazy.
4.
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
5.
I just feel like there are steps you can probably take before this one https://t.co/mpntLoPcG1
6.
Grocery store cashier: "Having a party tonight?" Me: "Nope, just pregnant."
7.
5 Stages of Pregnancy: 1: Crying 2: Peeing 3: Crying because you peed 4: Peeing because you're crying 5: The toilet is your home now
8.
*whispers to first-time pregnant lady* "Six years from now you'll be hiding in a closet, scrolling Twitter with dead eyes."
9.
Yelp review for pregnancy: 1/5 stars Took way too long Overpriced Super uncomfortable & crowded Aesthetically just very bad No alcohol
10.
Some days I want to time travel back to pregnant me and whisper, "Go take a nap. This is your last chance!"
11.
If you eat a pregnant girls food, you're required to have the baby for her
12.
13.
Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.
14.
So, if you get pregnant in Vegas, does the baby have to stay there?
15.
Ask your doctor if you qualify for an extension. A 4th, possibly even 5th trimester can be very peaceful for the father. Congrats. https://t.co/CTdyI66in3
16.
Pregnant Wife: Can you go ahead and strip the sheets off the guest bed and put them in the washer? Me: Is 9 at night really a good time to start a load of laundry? PW: I dunno. Is 9 at night really a good time to start a fight with your pregnant wife? Me: *does laundry*
17.
girls just overthink to bits like when u get a pregnancy scare then get ur period, u start thinking of the fact that some people still get their periods while their pregnant 🤣 the panic jus never stops
18.
Some girls tell me they wanted to party their asses off last night but one of them thought she might be pregnant. So, they had their cabbie stop at a CVS so she could buy a pregnancy test. Everything came back negative so they went ahead and got hammered. #Vegas
19.
Of all the things that will make you puke repeatedly, pregnancy is the most magical.
20.
By my third, I was showing before the pregnancy test dried.
21.
Other pregnant woman: I like to do yoga and an hour of cardio each day. It helps me appreciate the wonders of what my body is capable of right now Me: I almost suffocated while trying to put my shoes on this morning
22.
Pregnancy is fun. Sometimes we watch him kick and sometimes we argue about the diff. between white and yellow cheddar #pregnantwifeproblems
23.
My husband told me he kind of wants another baby so, you guys, I’m going to go for it, I mean, really, how hard can it be to do a vasectomy?
24.
Slightly more accurate baby shower card: "Sry you can't drink or fit in pants and your back hurts, but here's a present that's not for you!"
25.
Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot
26.
This is the quote I woke up to... "Can you turn over and face the other way? Your breath is making me nauseous." #PregnantWifeLife
27.
Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows
28.
My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight. Frankly, I'd rather cut the Obgyn.
29.
Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat.
30.
I just left a voicemail and said " please call me back at your convenience. Amen." Instead of "goodbye". #pregnancybrain is real y'all
31.
You can't get pregnant from sex with a condom, only from sex with a person
32.
Dollar Tree pregnancy tests. For when you only want to be 35% sure.
33.
This pregnancy has taught me: one jar of pickles is not enough. #pregnancyproblems @chrissyteigen
34.
"You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie
35.
Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative.
36.
That terrifying moment when your in the bath and can't see your vagina anymore ...😭 🔫#pregnancyproblems #knewthisdaywouldcome
37.
Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot
38.
Hey guys. Stop touching your wife's pregnant belly in pictures. We get it, you came in her.
39.
My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat.
40.
Pregnancy test commercials would be a lot more relatable if the women in them cursed and cried.
Which pregnancy tweets made you LOL? Let us know in the comments below!
This article contains content from Tom Vellner, Mike Spohr, and EN_Fogg. It was compiled by Salimah McCullough.