Duchess Kate: You want buttons? I’ll give you some motherf—king buttons

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visit the Fire Station Arts Centre in Sunderland

OY BUTTONS. DID YOU SEE MY BUTTONS?

At this point, I really do believe that the Duchess of Cambridge knows she has a button problem, and she’s just actively trolling us. She’s like “oh, they want buttons? I’ll give them some motherf–king buttons.” The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visited the Fire Station Arts Centre in Sunderland today and Kate just had to wear a new coat SLATHERED in buttons. I can’t stop laughing. I count 16 buttons but I suspect her hair is hiding some additional ones.

This button-covered coat is by Dolce & Gabbana and it’s “new to us,” meaning this is the first time she’s worn the coat in public. I’m assuming the off-the-rack cost is thousands of dollars, but remember, she likely had this altered to accommodate her pregnancy. Just as she had all of those coats altered ahead of the big Sweden and Norway trip last month, many of which would still fit and are probably worth a repeat. But not for our precious Keen! She was so keen to get another button-slathered coat, she didn’t even look at the price tag.

Previously, I’ve requested in previous posts for commenters to write love poems or love letters in Kate’s voice, to her greatest love, BUTTONS. For today’s challenge, let’s try a haiku! Please write a haiku about buttons and Kate.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visit the Fire Station Arts Centre in Sunderland

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visit the Fire Station Arts Centre in Sunderland

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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139 Responses to “Duchess Kate: You want buttons? I’ll give you some motherf—king buttons”

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  1. Clare says:

    Lol.

    That’s all I have about the ridiculous coat.

    Her face looks good though!

  2. teehee says:

    Kate Buttenton.

  3. Seraphina says:

    Thank you!!!!! I needed the laugh this morning. And those are some serious buttons. Let’s just all come to terms that Kate will never be a style icon. It’s not who she is. She more the chutney making type, sitting at home watching the kids and being June Cleaver. Unless some star celebrity is involved or it’s a beach vacation. 🤣

  4. KP says:

    I’m assuming this look is fire station inspired?

  5. Delta Juliet says:

    I’m just a commoner. When I was pregnant I had to wear my regular coat and leave it open! No tailoring for this poor gal.

  6. notasugarhere says:

    Shiny round buttons
    One can never have enough
    All for Katie Keen

    (we NEED Liberty in this thread)

  7. Amelia says:

    Designers think they know best,
    But they all forget the Duchess’ decree,
    Buttons; they make the garment.

    Oh fuck, I forgot it’s syllables, not words! Disregard this nonsense.

  8. littlemissnaughty says:

    LMAO Oh god, if that were her thought process, I’d respect her game. That is on FUG coat.

  9. Cerys says:

    Perfectly nice coat despite all the buttons. However, it’s just another expensive outfit which will likely be worn once and put into mothballs in the Kensington Palace wardrobes. She wore several new coats during her Scandinavian trip. Surely one of them could have been “recycled”?

  10. hindulovegod says:

    The Duchess did say
    Buttons please, every day
    Until none remained

    I haven’t written a haiku since university, but I gave it a whirl. She really outdid herself today. Also, Dolce & Gabbana are a controversial choice, owing to their horrid public statements. I guess buttons make it okay.

    • Saba says:

      Hahaha, nice.

    • OriginalLala says:

      hahah nice one!

      I don’t think Kate really gives a crap about supporting controversial designers or supporting women’s rights, she comes off as pretty vapid and shallow. I’m sure she was just thinking “BUTTTONS!! SHINY BUTTONS!!” and the super homophobic shit D&G have spewed didn’t phase her, because buttons.

    • Sharon Lea says:

      Good one

  11. Imqrious2 says:

    Gleaming so brightly
    In the brilliant sunny day
    Beloved buttons!

    Worthless is a day
    That I cannot walkabout
    With buttons displayed.

    I love my buttons!
    Silver, gold, cloth, no matter!
    Just any, and many!

    Ok, I’m on meds for a sliced finger lol. Best I can do with no sleep.
    Still, have to say, she looks lovely. Makeup toned down, happy, engaged with the crowd. Thumbs up today, Kate!

  12. Anne says:

    So now we know that Kate has a sence of humor- good for her. I like her preggs looks- she is glowing and with rounded face looks so nice.
    16 buttons- impresive.

  13. Rapunzel says:

    The Waity Duchess
    Wears buttons to look regal
    Meghan would never

  14. NorthernLala says:

    Kate loves her buttons
    Can’t have too many buttons
    She always tells Will
    🤓

  15. Beluga says:

    I have this in red
    My spending’s ridiculous
    But, oh! More buttons!

  16. bigk says:

    see me don’t see me
    glint catches paparazzi
    I’m very private

  17. trollontheloose says:

    Out and about for the last month and 1/2..what gives?? Competition I see

    I have a title “the last button that fell and rolled down to be never seen again”

  18. HeyThere! says:

    Is it weird that I think ‘unless there is a hidden zipper it must take her 3 minutes to put her coat on and go!?’ LOL

  19. Really says:

    😅😅😅. OMG…..you are so funny, Kaiser!! I bursted out laughing. I think I just woke up our whole house!

  20. Nicole says:

    Lollllll
    *whispers* “look at all these buttons”

  21. MellyMel says:

    LOL I love this thread!

  22. lower-case deb says:

    Deck the coat with lots of buttons fa la la la la la la la la…
    Tis the buttons to be coat-y, fa la la la la la la la la!
    Don we now our best coatdresses, fa la la la la la!
    Troll the throngs of common pheasants, buttons buttons buttons..

  23. JennDama says:

    A coat with many buttons sewn.
    I am keen to wear it out!
    Hopefully Charlotte will want one too.

    Okay it’s been many years since I wrote a haiku. I don’t even know if I did it right. I’m glad she’s working, but why does she need so many coats? She could wear her old ones she wore on her other pregnancies. To top it off that’s not even a UK brand. Isn’t she supposed to be an ambassador? One really is keen on liking her but HRH makes it hard. (See what I did there?)
    Have a good day everyone! 😛

  24. Maria F. says:

    i truly believe she is trolling us. Good for her.

    I think that all these coats can be altered back once she is not pregnant anymore, so I do not see that as a big issue.

  25. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Oh buttons my frill!
    Adorn every frock of mine…
    If only a crown.

  26. NotSoSocialButterfly says:

    Oh, bright and shiny buttons
    Center of my world
    I am Duchess of Buttons.

  27. KBeth says:

    All those shiny buttons…..

  28. KatieBo says:

    Buttons! More Buttons!
    I find them fascinating.
    Get it? I like puns.
    – DK

  29. Cee says:

    Yeah, too many buttons for a pregnant body LOL They give a warped line.
    She’s either Keen, Duchess of Buttons or Keen, Duchess of Doily. Now she is beginning to enjoy being Keen, Duchess of Frills. There is no compromise in her fashion choices.

  30. Surely Wolfbeak says:

    One button for each
    Indignity I’ve suffered
    In the name of work

  31. Saba says:

    Silver and gold, my jewels
    Fit for a princess like me
    My basic buttons

    Keen as a cucumber
    I wear my buttons on my sleeve
    And everywhere else

    I work hard and keen
    It’s the price to pay, exhausting
    Doing up my buttons

  32. Chef Grace says:

    A coat of buttons
    reveals personality
    That is too keenly.

  33. Sherry says:

    Kate’s keen for buttons.
    Buttons are the thing she loves.
    The queen of the buttons.

  34. Bettyrose says:

    How many buttons
    Is Duchess Kate wearing now
    I think quite a lot

  35. HeyThere! says:

    I wonder if Kate wakes up at night in a cold sweat, runes to her coat closet, turns the light on and whispers ‘my precious’?!?! HA!

  36. Kitty says:

    How big were the crowds to see them?

    • SoulSPA says:

      I checked the fail. Quite a few people but not clear how many because the photos were taken up close.
      What I did notice however was that she changed her hills into boots for visiting a building site apparently. Now, all that talk about “protocol” re: keeping her coat on while indoors. But somehow she managed to change her footwear. Major LOL!

      • LAK says:

        There is a photo where she removes her coat. She’s wearing a black and white dress.

        Also, they have such small turnouts outside of the bussed in children that media has taken to close cropping their pictures and or filming very close so that you don’t see the small or non existant crowds.

        But the royal press pack on twitter gleefully share photos of the empty streets showing the barriers erected in anticipation of the hordes that never come.

        This is completely opposite for Harry / MM or even Charles/ Camilla.

      • SoulSPA says:

        @LAK I checked the fail again and saw her in yet again new summer dress during winter time. And she got a small henna tattoo on her right hand. I know about warnings against henna tattoos as henna cam provoke burns or allergic reactions. There were even warnings a few years ago for tourists leaving from a European airport a few years ago. I know those tattoos hold symbolic significance in some cultures but Kate getting one during pregnancy makes me shake my head.

      • whatever says:

        @SoulSPA

        Trust me when I say there is nothing wrong with Kate getting a henna tattoo. If she was getting one while on holiday in Turkey or somewhere that would be a problem because they have a history of causing burns, perhaps because the ingredients in the henna are not regulated properly over there?. But I’ve had henna loads of times and never once experienced burns or an allergic reaction. I’ve never met anyone who has had an allergic reaction or been burnt by henna either.

      • SoulSPA says:

        @whatever I believe you 😃. No more SMH then!

    • Sharon Lea says:

      I also noticed that she took her coat off while meeting and coloring with children earlier, unlike how she kept her coat on in Sweden and people on DM insisted ‘royal women don’t remove their coats’ sigh

  37. Becks says:

    LOLOLOLOL. the headline and the haikus here are killing me.

    I saw this coat and thought – “oh shes wearing one of her other coats.” Nope. NEW! I would be completely fine with it (yes it’s button-y, yes its kind of dull) but she got a NEW D&G coat tailored for her this pregnancy? You’ve gotta be kidding. Much like we’ve been saying she’s building up her appearances in anticipation of her maternity leave, maybe she is also building up her clothing expenses so that even with time off her wardrobe this year is still $$$$$.

  38. Lauren Vail says:

    Big Shiny Buttons
    Keen Kate needs a bespoke coat
    For an hour’s work

  39. CairinaCat says:

    A Queen I must feel
    Buttons are my tiara
    BOW TO THE BUTTONS!

  40. Adele Dazeem says:

    I really don’t want to be one of those kate haters/conspiracists that suspect her increased work presence is due to fears of ‘female competition,’ but sheesh, I feel like we’ve seen her more in this trimester of this pregnancy than in the past three years combined.

  41. Lorelai says:

    How many new coats does this woman need?!

  42. Cynical Ann says:

    The two of them have been out every day doing the job they’re supposed to be doing (whatever the reasons-Duke of E retiring and forcing their hand, increased competition, keen actually kicking in). She can wear ALL the buttons and not hear a peep from me. Although your haikus are clever-I’ll say that!

  43. Elysium1973 says:

    OMG, this entire thread is hilarious.

  44. Ankhel says:

    Good news hidden grows
    A princess beams in the light
    buttons for two now

  45. Amelie says:

    As soon as I saw the pictures of this coat on People, I knew Kaiser would have a field day with it. Thanks for not disappointing me!

    I really wonder if anyone has ever pointed out to Kate her love of buttons. I really wonder where the affinity comes from! Maybe she is allergic to zippers.

  46. Somegirl says:

    Buttons, my true love,
    Round and shiny you call me,
    Closer to the coat.

  47. spidee!! says:

    I am now totally convinced that someone has drawn Kate’s attention to this site and she is doing a
    🖕

  48. Samantha says:

    I laughed so hard at just the title of this. Not even going to read the article or look at the pics. You win the internet headline for today 🏆

  49. Heidi says:

    Be careful what you wish for – now that she is actually working every day like the rest of us, I can’t wait for her to disappear into her 6 months-at-least maternity leave. That woman is boring beyond belief – fashion- and otherwise.

    Why can’t she just buy 20 neutral coats and then just exchange the buttons? That would save a ton of money and might actually be interesting.

    Also, I wish she would emphasise her baby belly instead of trying to hide it.

  50. Starlight says:

    Literally button earrings to match nice colour coat though

  51. Spicecake38 says:

    One gleaming button
    For each year I Waitey-ed
    Until the balding Prince
    Became mine

  52. Nikayna says:

    Support of women
    If harassed, abused, but not
    When wearing buttons.

    I don’t know if it’s jealousy or what, but it’s showing.

  53. MangoAngel says:

    Buttons buttons here,
    Buttons buttons ev’rywhere,
    Toy-soldier cosplay.

  54. Cupcake says:

    I’m starting to believe the twins rumor!

    • Adele Dazeem says:

      I didn’t know there were any qualified twins rumors. That being said, I think she’s just gaining weight like a normal pregnancy girl, aka more than she ever did the first two rounds. Probably swelling too, I hear when you do three in a row pretty quickly as she has, often the body struggles a little more on the third.

  55. Honey says:

    Ok. So this is what I’ve got:

    Big shiny MF buttons bitches
    Keenly she smiled while twirling her hair
    Charles pays so who cares

    Or

    Up down and all around
    Silver buttons adorn her costly ugly coats
    Peasants gasp filled with disgust

  56. The dormouse says:

    Disks of metal, cloth?
    No, my coats of many worlds
    Contain multitudes

  57. SJF says:

    Oh shiny buttons
    Together we ever glow
    Brighter than Meghan

  58. Ann says:

    I’d like to reply to some comments about the crowd sizes for William and Kate. I’ve said this before – whether we like William or not, he has managed to do what Diana and the palace could never do – and that is keeping the press at arm’s length and that does lessen interest. And I think William is just fine with smaller crowds and less press. He’s happy to not have “Diana mania” around Kate. So while some might think they’re boring and no one cares to show up, I think William is good with that.

  59. Wisca says:

    Buttons buttons but-
    Ons Buttons Buttons Buttons
    Buttons buttons but. . . .

  60. Incognita says:

    Just look at my coat
    Adorned with shiny buttons
    Trolling you plebians

  61. Deedee says:

    Button, button
    Who’s got the button?
    Me! Who wants chutney?

  62. Jaded says:

    I am button-gurl
    My buttons empower me
    They give me big grins

  63. Sunny says:

    There once was a lady from the Ton
    Who Everyday craved stew of mutton
    If the cook would forget
    Upset she would get
    And sulk in a coat full o’ button

  64. carmina patina says:

    oh lovely buttons
    shiny bright all around me
    need a bigger coat

  65. Argirl says:

    Kate’s keen for buttons.
    No matter gold, green or black.
    So long as they shine.

  66. Carolind says:

    When Debo Mitford who was to become Duchess of Devonshire was marrying in 1941 she wrote one of her sisters saying she was having a dress with “masses and masses and masses of tulle with a skirt so big the like had never been seen before”. She didn’t care if it was fashion but she liked it and it was what suited her. Kate obviously likes masses and masses and masses of buttons and couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks. Who wants to be a slave to fashion and wear something because everyone else is wearing it?

  67. Wren says:

    Duchess on parade
    Led by marching rows of buttons
    A keen display

  68. Evie says:

    I think Kate looks great. She has a healthy pregnancy glow and the little bit of extra weight makes her face look younger.
    Kate’s penchant for buttons doesn’t bother me. I don’t find the buttons as obnoxious as those outlandish ugly hats that Beatrice and Eugenie wear to every formal occasion, LOL!

  69. Nola says:

    How about a limerick?

    “There once was a Duchess named Kate
    who found herself in quite a state.
    Her closets were bare;
    She had nothing to wear
    Aside from coats with buttons the size of a plate.”

    (Needs some work)

  70. AmandaPanda says:

    Zips togs and duffles
    For commoners may be fine
    But One needs buttons

    Don’t be distracted
    By black pants and messy buns
    Buttons FTW

    Not just for jackets
    My finger on the Button
    Of a great nation

  71. RedWeatherTiger says:

    Buttons are so keen
    Round and bright and shiny gold
    Tell me how they work

    A button parade!
    Up and down my bespoke coat
    Meghan can suck it.

    William loves buttons
    Babies and buttons and me
    Where is he today?

    Yonder in the field
    Wild buttons scamper in leaves
    I will make them mine.

  72. minx says:

    I think she’s going to have her baby sooner rather than later. Maybe, late March.

  73. Jo says:

    The headline and header photo is brilliant😂 Made my day

  74. A says:

    You know what? There is at least one thing that I will appreciate Kate for, and it’s the fact that come what may, she sticks to what she wants. Homegirl doesn’t waver, come hell or high water. She wants to marry a prince and become Queen? She’s gonna fking do that. Wants to vacay at Mustique 8 months out of 12? It’s gonna fking happen. Wants three kids? Well, buckle the fk up Willy, because that’s that. And if she wants those motherf–king buttons, she’s gonna wear some gdamn motherf–king buttons, or so help her god.

    I don’t like her much, but she’s always given me the impression that, in spite of seeming like a doormat, she’s actually more intelligent and crafty than people give her credit for sometimes. And she knows how to leverage that sh-t into getting exactly what she wants at all times. Because from what I can see, she’s got precisely the life that she wants, even if it’s not the life that we think she should have.

    I hope she enjoys those buttons.

  75. magnoliarose says:

    Katie loves buttons
    She adorns the coats herself
    Buttons are everywhere

    Shiny and lovely
    Sparkling gold silver and bronze
    Buttons for Britain

  76. Upstatediva says:

    This has to be the most fun post of 2018! Congrats to all the haiku-ers.

  77. vava says:

    Not a big fan of haiku myself…………but I will say that coat is terrible, but Kate’s face and her side part in her hair look good. The buttons are just RIDICULOUS. We won’t see this coat again, mark my words.

  78. Cher says:

    Well we’ve got a vast array of buttons and the Doolittles are doing more…

  79. Sparkly says:

    The post title had me laughing. I’d agree that she’s trolling us, but I’m not sure she’s that savvy.

  80. Anare says:

    Buttons throw you off
    You don’t notice jacked up eyes
    And my keen wiglet