COVID is exposing the cracks in our mental wellbeing, counsellors say

The restrictions imposed during the pandemic are straining our mental health, especially if we were barely hanging on before, says a Catholic therapist who is seeing the impact first-hand.

“Things people would have normally done to cope with daily life are stripped away,” said Jody Garneau, a registered clinical counsellor based in Maple Ridge.

“If normally you could travel and go shopping and that helps you feel a bit better, that’s gone. If you normally have coffee with friends, that’s gone. And for Catholics, our church families, we can’t be receiving the sacraments in the same way,” said Garneau.

“Where people were hobbling before, it’s exposing those weaknesses. Now the normal structure of their life is really shaken.”

While the challenge of living in a pandemic can be “an opportunity for healing and growth,” Garneau recognizes the difficulties it presents for a wide range of people.

“People who are already anxious and have tendencies toward obsessive compulsive disorder ... it’s very difficult to deal with COVID. They already were overthinking.”

The fallout from the pandemic makes them feel like “they were right to be so concerned about things. It can cycle out of control very quickly.” 

Adele Huculak, a Catholic counsellor in Kamloops, has also noticed the effects of restrictions on typical coping mechanisms.

“When we don’t have what we used to have to help us through things, we’re standing in shock: ‘What am I supposed to do?’”

She said losing default methods of coping (like a social outing with friends) can lead people to pursue unhelpful coping mechanisms, such as increased alcohol consumption or spiralling into depression, anxiety, or negative thought patterns. Individuals who have battled addictions may find themselves wrestling with whether they can stay sober or clean this time.

Much of Huculak’s work is not in addictions, though, but in grief and loss counselling, an area that has also been deeply affected by the pandemic.

“People that have lost a loved one find the grieving experience really isolating. They haven’t had closure in some cases because they can’t have the ritual or funeral like they want to have it,” she said.

“We heal in relationship. We grow in relationship. It is one thing on Zoom to have ceremony or ritual, but it’s not in relationship, in physical presence with others.”

Huculak has observed that even clients who aren’t grieving can experience “secondary loss” as their weddings, celebrations, retirements, and other plans turn out differently than they had hoped. Confusing or ambiguous restrictions can also cause division in families.

Huculak and Garneau are registered clinical counsellors at Innova Therapy, a non-religious counselling agency with several Catholics on the team. They see most of their clients over video or phone calls these days, and despite how awkward the format can be, they say it’s what they’re being called to.

“I feel that when I present myself and a loving space for them to be and to process what they’re dealing with, I am ministering to the world,” said Garneau, who spent many years in parish ministry before becoming a counsellor.

“By opening that space and encountering human to human, it does feel almost like a sacred moment and I can minister in that way. It’s very different than teaching RCIA and helping people with their process of conversion, but it is a process of becoming fully human and fully alive.”

Catholics with mental health challenges often face concerns about stigma. Harvey Payne, academic dean for the school of counselling at Divine Mercy University in Sterling, VA, says Catholics are less likely to get counselling than other Christians out of fear that the mental-health professional will misunderstand them or dismiss their faith or family values.

Garneau, who received her master’s of science in clinical counselling from Divine Mercy, agrees with Payne’s assessment.

Catholics “don’t want to take important issues about their own personal lives or their family life to someone who doesn’t share their values and might even question them,” said Garneau.

And while prayer, confession, and participation in Mass are beneficial for individuals’ wellbeing, the integration of prayer with therapy makes use of “both the natural and the spiritual part to build toward a stronger life, what we call flourishing. It’s not either-or, it’s both-and,” said Garneau.

“Grace builds on nature. So if nature is suffering because of whatever is happening in the person, we can benefit humanly speaking and spiritually speaking by addressing those issues.”

She worries some people who face anxiety and depression are confronted by people who “spiritualize” their challenges. “Sometimes we give them the message that maybe they don’t have enough faith, maybe they have something out of line spiritually that they need to fix and carry on,” said Garneau.

Just as Christians believe individuals are not defined by their sins, Catholic therapists say it’s important not to characterize people by their mental health. Huculak meets regularly with other Catholic therapists discuss how to connect their professional practices with their faith, noting that everyone has “innate goodness.”

“It is about finding the strengths they have, the virtues already in place in their lives,” said Huculak. “It’s not like we’re there to save them. It’s working with what is already in them and identifying it in their story.”

This is the second part of a 2-part series on mental health during the pandemic. For Part 1, click here.

A listing of Catholic and Christian counsellors in B.C. is available at rcav.org/personal-counselling.

Healthy coping

Four tips from counsellor Jody Garneau

Acknowledge that life can be hard. People often push on and pretend their present challenges will soon be over, but it can be helpful to accept that some days are just hard.

Look for your supports. “People have been so creative, reaching out through online methods and finding ways to be connected. We are born to be in community and be connected. It’s not just a luxury. How do we provide that for ourselves?”

Try to contain your worry to a specific time every day. Give yourself a 10-to-15-minute window each day. When worries start to resurface later, say, “No, tomorrow I’ll have my worry time again.”

Live in the moment. People like to make plans, but right now it is hard to anticipate what will come. Accept each day for itself. This may require us to practise letting go, especially if we tend to cope with challenging situations by planning.