Dear pen pal: how writing letters to strangers is making a comeback

For many of us, pen pals were a staple part of childhood. Schools, Guides and Scouts groups regularly paired up overseas buddies, promoting cultural exchange and helping with language practice. Scrawled notes detailing favourite hobbies and pets' names were sent back and forth and, while most correspondences fizzled out after the first couple of letters, some continued for many years.

It would be easy to assume that email and social media killed off the traditional pen pal. However, it seems the hobby is undergoing a revival. Online schemes such as the International Geek Girl Pen Pals Club and The League of Extraordinary Pen Pals are springing up, connecting letter writers around the world. Projects such as indie lifestyle mag Oh Comely's care packages encourage strangers to send beautifully prepared, intricate parcels to one another. Even Reddit has its own pen pal sub-forum.

There is more to the trend than simple analogue festishisation. Pen pal enthusiasts (who, interestingly, seem to be mostly women) say they find handwriting relaxing and meditative, and believe their written relationships are just as central to their lives as face-to-face ones. We spoke to three sets of women about what inspired them to put pen to paper, and the role their friendships have played in their lives.

Margaret and Ingrid

Margaret Roberts, now 68, began writing to pen pals in her early teens. "I didn't travel as a child, so having friends in other countries was a window to the world," she recalls. At the age of 11, she answered a call-out for pen pals placed by a Swedish schoolteacher in her local paper, the Liverpool Echo. The result was a written friendship with Ingrid Andersson, now 70, which has lasted 57 years.

Throughout this time the pair have experienced a similar succession of life events. "We had children at the same time; met partners at the same time, and even went through losing our parents together," she explains. The women also followed near-identical career paths, both working as careers advisers. "It's almost as if we've lived parallel lives," says Margaret. "It means we always have lots to talk about."

They have met face-to-face on several occasions, and have both developed strong interests in each others' countries – Margaret even makes the effort to attend Scandinavian Santa Lucia festivals in the UK. And, as a bonus, Ingrid reports the friendship has hugely improved her English.

Zoe and Megan

The world of social media provided a catalyst for an analogue friendship between Londoner Zoe Bateman, 27, and Californian Megan, 23. "She commented on my blog and then I ordered an embroidered quote from her Etsy shop, which turned into a package swap," explains Zoe. "It continued from there. She's a fan of British culture and I love Americana, so we did a 'country swap', sending local postcards, souvenirs and sweets."

The pair regularly send each other trinkets, gifts and letters, and go to great lengths to create beautifully wrapped packages. "It's such a joy to include little odds and ends to make it special, such as art work or stickers, so it can brighten up their day," says Megan. Both also enjoy the process of handwriting. "I find it relaxing – it's nice to take a break from everything tech-based and get out my stationery," says Zoe. "I never handwrite anything else."

Zoe is hoping to meet Megan for the first time when she travels to the US next year. "It feels a bit like a first date," she laughs . "It's a different type of friendship to seeing each other every day, but it still feels just as real."

Arielle and Sami

Pen pal projects can also act as a link between those with niche interests. "I [used to be a] really lonely person," explains Sami Levett, 26, from Sydney, Australia. "I had friends, but not many who gamed, read comics or liked sci fi."

Sami discovered the International Geek Girls Pen Pal Club through Twitter, and immediately signed up. The project matches women from around the world according to their interests, and Sami was just as attracted to the idea of letter writing as she was to meeting like-minded people. "There's a coldness with email that I find a handwritten letter doesn't possess – it's like opening a hug," she elaborates.

Thanks to the project, Sami is now part of a group of seven women from Australia and North America who speak online daily as well as send letters and packages to each other. "It gave me the courage to be my true self and not be ashamed of it," she concludes. "I wouldn't have the confidence I do now if it wasn't for those girls."

Sami is hoping to visit one of the women, Arielle, 27, in Houston, Texas, later this year. "One of the best things about pen palling is learning about different cultures," says Arielle. "So Sami's going to come over and experience a proper American Thanksgiving with us."