Abstract
Many couples present to therapy feeling trapped in impasses that they do not understand and feel powerless to escape. The impasse causes great emotional distress and may threaten the couple’s connection and commitment to each other. This paper is based on a presentation given at the 2018 annual SEPI conference and reflects the work of three experienced scholar-therapists who presented their approaches to working with couple impasses as the first step in exploring areas of overlap and potential integration. Although each clinical approach developed independently, the emphasis on exploration of emotions and respect for the influence of the past point to the potential for integration.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Similar content being viewed by others
References
Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. New York, NY: Houghton-Mifflin-Harcourt.
Barrett, L. F. (2018). Emotions are constructed with interoception and concepts within a predicting brain. In A. S. Fox, R. C. Lapate, A. J. Shackman, & R. J. Davidson (Eds.), The nature of emotion (2nd ed., pp. 33–38). Oxford Press: New York.
Boszormenyi-Nagy, I., & Ulrich, D. (1981). Contextual family therapy. In A. S. Gurman & D. P. Kniskern (Eds.), Handbook of family therapy (pp. 159–186). New York: Brunner/Mazel.
Buber, M. (1957). Guilt and guilt feelings. Psychiatry,20, 114–129.
Coan, J., Schaefer, H. S., & Davidson, R. J. (2006). Lending a hand: Social regulation of the neural response to threat. Psychological Science,12, 1032–1039.
Cozolino, L. (2016). Why therapy works: Using our minds to change our brains. New York, NY: W.W. Norton.
Dalgleish, T., Johnson, S. M., Burgess, M. M., Lafontaine, M. F., Wiebe, S. A., & Tasca, G. A. (2015). Predicting change in marital satisfaction throughout emotionally focused couple therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy,41, 276–291.
Elliott, R., Watson, J. C., Goldman, R. N., & Greenberg, L. S. (2004). Learning emotion-focused therapy: A process-experiential approach to change. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Fishbane, M. D. (1998). I, thou, and we: A dialogical approach to couples therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy,24, 41–58.
Fishbane, M. D. (2011). Facilitating relational empowerment in couple therapy. Family Process,50, 337–352.
Fishbane, M. D. (2013). Loving with the brain in mind: Neurobiology and couple therapy. New York, NY: W.W. Norton.
Fishbane, M. D. (2019). Healing intergenerational wounds: A relational-neurobiological approach. Family Process,58, 796–818. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12488.
Fisher, H. (2004). Why we love: The nature and chemistry of romantic love. New York, NY: Henry Holt.
Fraenkel, P. (2019). Love in action: An integrative approach to last chance couple therapy. Family Process,58(3), 569–594.
Goldman, R. N. (1991). The validation of the experiential therapy adherence measure. Unpublished Master’s Thesis, York University, Canada.
Goldman, R. N., & Greenberg, L. S. (2013). Working with identity and self-soothing in emotion-focused therapy for couples. Family Process,52(1), 62–82.
Goldman, R. N., & Greenberg, L. S. (2015). Case formulation in emotion-focused therapy; Co-creating clinical maps for change. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Goldman, R. N. (2016). Emotion-focused therapy. In D. J. Cain, K. Keenan, & S. Rubin (Eds.), Humanistic psychotherapies. Handbook of research and practice (2nd ed.). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/14775-000.
Goldman, R. N., Vaz, A. & Rousmaniere, T. (in press). Deliberate practice in emotion-focused therapy. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Goldman, R. N., & Wise, I. (2018). Emotion-focused couples therapy. In J. L. Lebow, et al. (Eds), Encyclopedia of couple and family therapy. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-15877-8_194-1.
Gottman, J. (2011). The science of trust: Emotional attunement for couples. New York, NY: W.W. Norton.
Greenberg, L. S., & Goldman, R. N. (2008). Emotion-focused couples therapy: The dynamics of emotion, love, and power. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Greenberg, L. S., & Goldman, R. N. (2019). Clinical handbook of emotion-focused therapy. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Greenberg, L. S., & Johnson, S. J. (1988). Emotionally-focused couples therapy. New York, NY: Guilford.
Greenberg, L. S., Warwar, S., & Malcolm, W. (2010). Emotion-focused couples therapy and the facilitation of forgiveness. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy,36, 28–42.
Greenberg, L. S., & Woldarsky-Meneses, C. (2019). Forgiveness and letting go in emotion-focused therapy. Washington, D.C.: APA Books.
Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment theory in practice. New York, NY: Guilford.
Johnson, S., Hunsley, J., Greenberg, L., & Schindler, D. (1999). Emotionally focused couples therapy: Status and challenges. Clinical Psychology: Science & Practice,6(1), 67–79.
Johnson, S. M., Moser, M. B., Beckes, L., Smith, A., Dalgleish, T., Halchuk, R., et al. (2013). Soothing the threatened brain: Leveraging contact comfort with emotionally focused therapy. PLoS ONE,8, 1–10.
Lane, R. D., Ryan, L., Nadel, L., & Greenberg, L. (2015). Memory reconsolidation, emotional arousal and the process of change in psychotherapy: New insights from brain science. Behavioral and Brain Sciences,38, 1–19.
Lebow, J. (2019). Current issues in the practice of integrative couple and family therapy. Family Process,58(3), 610–628.
Levitt, H. M., Whelton, W. J., & Iwakabe, S. (2019). Integrating feminist-multicultural perspectives into emotion-focused therapy. In L. Greenberg & R. Goldman (Eds.), Clinical handbook of emotion-focused therapy (pp. 425–444). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Makinen, J. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2006). Resolving attachment injuries in couples using Emotionally Focused Therapy: steps toward forgiveness and reconciliation. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology,74, 1055–1064.
McGeorge, C. R. (2010). Couples, gender and power: Creating change in intimate relationships. Journal of Family Theory & Review,2(4), 428–431.
Mitchell, S. A. (2003). Can love last? The fate of romance over time. New York, NY: W.W. Norton.
Robles, T. F., & Kiecolt-Glaser, J. (2003). The physiology of marriage: Pathways to health. Physiology & Behavior,79, 409–416.
Scheinkman, M., & Fishbane, M. D. (2004). The vulnerability cycle: Working with impasses in couple therapy. Family Process,43, 279–299.
Siegel, J. P. (1992). Repairing intimacy: An object relations approach to couples therapy. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.
Siegel, J. P. (2010). A good enough therapy: An object relations approach to couple treatment. In A. S. Gurman (Ed.), Clinical casebook of couple therapy (4th ed., pp. 134–152). New York, NY: Guilford.
Siegel, J. P. (2015). Object relations couple therapy. In A. Gurman, J. Lebow, & D. Snyder (Eds.), Clinical handbook of couple therapy (pp. 134–152). New York, NY: Guilford.
Siegel, J. P. (2016). Identifying and working through projective identification. In G. R. Weeks, S. T. Fife, & C. M. Peterson (Eds.), Techniques for the couple therapist: Essential interventions from the experts (pp. 123–127). New York, NY: Guilford.
Siegel, J. P. (2020a). Digging deeper: An object relations couple therapy update. Family Process,59(1), 10–20.
Siegel, J. P. (2020b). Couple therapy. In J. Brandell (Ed.), Theory and practice in clinical social work (3rd ed.). San Diego, CA: Cognella.
Snyder, D. K., Simpson, J. A., & Hughes, J. N. (2006). Emotion regulation in couples and families: Pathways to dysfunction and health. Washington, D.C: American Psychological Association Press.
Wile, D. (2008). After the honeymoon: How conflict can improve your relationship. New York: Wiley.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Additional information
Publisher's Note
Springer Nature remains neutral with regard to jurisdictional claims in published maps and institutional affiliations.
Rights and permissions
About this article
Cite this article
Fishbane, M.D., Goldman, R.N. & Siegel, J.P. Couple Impasses: Three Therapeutic Approaches. Clin Soc Work J 48, 301–312 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-020-00764-x
Published:
Issue Date:
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-020-00764-x