Texts From Charles Bukowski -The Toast

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bukowskiiAs a young man I could not believe that people could give their lives over to those conditions. As an old man, I still can’t believe it.
what do you mean
like
going to work?
What do they do it for? Sex?
what
no
that’s not why people go to work and you know it
TV?
i mean that’s not the primary reason
An automobile on monthly payments? Or children?
yes
obviously
that is why most people go to their jobs
is to pay their bills and also feed their families
Children who are just going to do the same things that they did?
are you honestly asking me to explain the circle of life to you right now
“Hey, the boss can come in here at any moment and lay all of us off, just like that, don’t you realize that?”
yes
we all realize that

 

There’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out
oh?
but I’m too tough for him
oh
well
that’s good
I say, stay in there, I’m not going to let anybody see you
that seems
okay
you can trap birds in your heart if you want to
i guess
there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled
i thought that was where the bird was
no
that’s a different place
a different place in my heart

 

in my next life I want to be a cat
to sleep 20 hours a day and wait to be fed

you do that already
well
sometimes i have to wait to get drunk

 

im sad
i’m sorry to hear that
sad like a christmas tree
would you like me to come over?
i’d rather stick my head up an elephant’s cunt

 

If I had been born a woman I would certainly have been a prostitute
oh, well
you know
you can still
be one
if you want
a man can love a woman he never touches
only writes to, keeps little photographs of
do you mean like celebrities
there’s no lie in her fire
which fire
not like all those other fires
which fires
those lying fires
those fires that lie to you when you’re talking to them

what matters is how you walk through the fire
the lying fire?
NO
the walking fire
that’s a different fire

 

You know, we’re monstrosities. If we could really see this, we could love ourselves…realize how ridiculous we are, with our intestines wound around, shit slowly running through as we look each other in the eyes and say “I love you,” our stuff is carbonizing, turning into shit, and we never fart near each other
you fart near people all the time
you farted in the middle of that sentence
never fart near each other
that’s what’s wrong with this country
and Disneyland is the opposite of a graveyard

that’s not what it is at all
you can go to Disneyland and still accept that you’re going to die
not even allowed to fart in Disneyland

 

The crowd is the gathering place of the weakest
true creation is a solitary act

also can you come over and bring dinner
and also bring whiskey
can you come over and clean up and then bring dinner

 

the ones who love you, that’s pretty hard to take
“Oh you are so great, Bukowski! Oh, you saved my life! Oh, Bukowski! Oh, Bukowski!” It makes me sick

oh
i’m sorry to hear that
i didn’t have any friends at school
didn’t want any

well
that part’s good, i suppose
if you didn’t want them
you can put fifty thousand dollars in my bank, I still don’t like the rich.
I may eat dinner with them in the same cafes, the maitre d’ might know my name, but I still don’t like them.

why don’t you eat dinner somewhere else, th–
Because they are dead. I don’t like dead people, even if they have one million dollars. I take their million but I don’t take them.
why don’t you not take their million
nothing ever works
the whole Left in America is just glorious bullshit hype-nothing

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