Thank Your College Admission Supporters

Whether you're anxiously awaiting Early Decision results or still filling out your applications, this is a good time to take stock of the people who have helped you get where you are now. And a good time to acknowledge them. Just as you're taught to send thank-you notes after receiving gifts (you're still taught that, right?), it's important to send notes for the less-tangible but vitally important gifts of good advice, recommendations and support during the college admission process.

And I'm not talking about emails, either. In this electronic age, the value of a personal communication has been seriously undermined by the ease of pushing a button. To be truly valuable, your thanks should come with some personal investment of time and effort. I'm talking about using a pen, stationery, your best handwriting and maybe even a stamp to reach your supporters. Did I say handwriting? Hopefully, you've been taught cursive, which is very personal and elegant, but if not, your own unique style will do. A real thank-you note will stand out instead of being obscured in an in-box. You can buy an inexpensive set of Thank You cards or just a nice selection of cards at a Staples or, if you're lucky, a stationery store near you. Or online, of course. Here's a simple tutorial.

Why is a thank-you note so important, especially in this context? It's not only a good way to acknowledge the help you've received over the years, it's also a way to reflect on the path you've taken to where you are now as you ponder your future. It's a moment to pause and genuinely give thanks for what you've received. In most cases, your help and support have come freely and been generously given. You need to say thank you for them.

If you need any proof that a sincere note of even only a few lines can be important, I can tell you that I still have every thank you I've ever received in a 30-year career teaching and advising students. Some are two sentences; some are several pages long. Each one tells me the sender has or will become a decent adult. And each one makes me happy to have been a part of his or her life.

Whom to thank? Ultimately, that's for you to decide, but here are a few suggestions:

1. Your most influential teachers, especially those who wrote your recommendations. You'd be surprised how much they'll enjoy receiving thanks for their work on your behalf. We don't generally go into teaching for the accolades, but we do greatly appreciate it when a student recognizes our support. That may include those who encouraged you when you thought you couldn't succeed or who introduced you to whole new worlds. If we've written your college application recommendations, it's particularly nice that you realize we took the time and effort to do so.
2. Others who've been part of your college process: A counselor, principal or other adults who materially contributed to your efforts to apply to college. Don't forget the support staff--administrative assistants and office managers, for example--who helped you stay organized, got your transcripts ordered and also had a stake in your success. They often labor for you anonymously while rooting for you; be sure to remember that they took care of a lot of the details.
3. People who have contributed to your being who you are today: A Scout leader, religious adviser, employer or coach are a few possibilities. Who gave you the right advice at just the right moment? Who was your strength when you felt weak? Who's been your role model?
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4. Your friends. It may sound odd, but you've all been working on this project together and you've all shared your highs and lows. Give them a shout-out. It'll be a nice surprise, I guarantee it.
5. Anyone on the college side who helped out, even if he or she works at a college you won't be attending. College admission officers, professors you may have contacted or students you may have spent an overnight with, deserve your thanks, especially if they went beyond the call of duty to research a tough question or give you a personal tour or interview. I was surprised and delighted to receive a thank-you from a young man I had recruited for Amherst who'd decided to attend Harvard instead. It spoke well of his character.
6. Last but not least, your parents. Whether it's been an easy journey or a rocky one, they've always tried to have your best interests in mind. We don't often take the time to say thanks; this is a good moment to do it.

Don't think of this effort as labor; it can be very satisfying to acknowledge the connections we have with others. And consider it practice for the future. You'll always have people to thank as you go through college, begin your career and make your way through life. Thank you notes are part of the web of relationships we weave as we do so.