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When men face breast cancer, it can be a lonely battle. Jerry Rubenstein, of Beachwood, has taken comfort in the services offered by The Gathering Place, a non-profit organization that offers free support and educational resources for people facing cancer and their loved ones.
(LINDA KINSEY/NORTHEAST OHIO MEDIA GROUP)
Beachwood resident Jerry Rubenstein has breast cancer, which has metastasized. He continues to take treatments and run 6.2 miles every other day. In inclement weather, he heads to his basement to run on the treadmill. He, along with his older daughter and sister, will participate in the June 7 Race for the Place, a Gathering Place event.
BEACHWOOD, Ohio -- The journey through cancer can be a solitary one, especially for men with breast cancer, as Jerry Rubenstein, of Beachwood, knows all too well.
The National Cancer Institute predicts that 2,350 men - compared to 232,000 women -- will be diagnosed this year with what many people think of as strictly a woman's disease. But unlike women who are diagnosed with the illness, there's little in the way of resources men can turn to.
That's why Rubenstein finds The Gathering Place, a non-profit organization that offers free support and educational resources for cancer patients and their loved ones, especially helpful.
Rubenstein's diagnosis came in 2003, when he found a lump. "I was 41," Rubenstein says. "My kids were real little - 12 and 9. I just thought it was this little cyst."
Even his doctor thought it was nothing to worry about at first, but tests revealed it was, in fact, cancer. This doctor called him at home to break the news.
The family made the decision to keep the diagnosis as quiet as possible. "I didn't want my kids to have their friends making nasty remarks. I was embarrassed, too."
Rubenstein, an accountant, went through treatment and surgery, which included a mastectomy. "The tumor was estrogen positive," he recalls, and doctors put him on a five-year course of the drug tamoxifen, essentially the same treatment often used for women.
Despite the shock of the cancer diagnosis, Rubenstein's prognosis looked hopeful. "They told me the odds of recurrence was 100 to one."
As the years went by, he and his wife were hopeful the matter was behind them.
"We pretty much went on with our lives, the best we could," Rubenstein says. "But when it reoccurred, my older daughter took it very much harder, and she's very concerned. My younger one is in college, and she's not at home."
Then, nearly 10 years to the day of his original diagnosis, he was told the cancer had come back - this time in his lungs.
"About two years ago, I developed a cough," Rubenstein says. When the cough worsened, he decided to see a doctor. His personal physician was away at the time, and another doctor prescribed steroids and antibiotics for what was thought to be pneumonia or bronchitis.
Rubenstein's cough did not improve and eventually returned to his personal physician. "When my doctor came back, he said 'Oh, I want to do an x-ray.' The next day he called up and said he wanted to do a CAT scan, and then he wanted to do a PET scan."
Shortly following the scans, his doctor called him at work and told him to come to his office immediately. Tests revealed "a huge tumor on one of my bronchial tubes," which resulted in a loss of 30 percent of his lung capacity.
"Meanwhile, during all of this, I was still running," says Rubenstein, who has been a runner for 29 years and continues to run 6.2 miles every other day. "I was running but just not as fast as I had been. I also lift weights."
The last two years have been rugged, with treatments ranging from radiation to various drug therapies. The cancer has since spread to his spleen and lymph nodes, and he has some lesions in two of his vertebrae. "They found a new one in my abdomen, which is very small. We're really hoping this new treatment is working. The last round really knocked me out."
He also had to give up his job. "I worked for years after my first diagnosis, but the coughing got really bad, and I was coughing so much that I was dragging myself into work. The boss expects you to be 100 percent."
Despite setbacks and anxiety of what the next scan might reveal, Rubenstein keeps up his workout regimen and continues to run through his neighborhood, including on the street where he grew up in neighboring Shaker Heights. "The doctors want to keep me physically active as possible."
Although a longtime runner, Rubenstein had never participated in a race until last year when he entered The Gathering Place's Race for the Place, and he plans to run this year's race on June 7. His older daughter, Melissa Rubenstein, and his sister, Judy Swirsky, will run with him.
Rubenstein has a deep loyalty to The Gathering Place. Before connecting with the center, he was hooked up with a couple of male mentors. The first mentor was trying to help patients maneuver through the medical system and did not offer the emotional support Rubenstein says he needed. A second mentor, who also had breast cancer, died just a couple of months after counseling Rubenstein.
Today, Rubenstein regularly attends a breast cancer support group at The Gathering Place. He's the only male member of the group with breast cancer but says he finds the its members helpful and supportive. "Unless you've gone through it, you don't quite understand."
The Race for the Place, a 5K and one-mile walk or run will take place at 8:45 a.m. June 7, Cancer Survivors Day, at Beachwood Place mall, in Beachwood. Presented by University Hospitals Seidman Cancer Center, all proceeds from the race will support The Gathering Place. For more information or to register for the race, visit racefortheplace.com.
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