Should I Trust Him? - Not If He Does These Seven Things

By Logan Strain on October 14, 2015

You might hate the way he smacks his lips when he eats. He might have a habit of claiming he’s listening to you even while he keeps his eyes focused on his Twitter feed. He might even plug his phone into your car while you’re driving to play his music, even though you’ve told him you’re going to chuck his Samsung Galaxy into the river if you hear one more damn Sublime or Jack Johnson song come out of your speakers.

A few obnoxious habits are forgivable, if you think his redeeming qualities make up for them. But if you can’t trust him, then you’re looking down both barrels of a big time deal breaker.

But it’s tough to figure out whether or not someone is trustworthy. After all, if he’s really good at being untrustworthy, then he’s also good at covering up how big of a phony he is. It’s why some people are able to run scams for years before they’re finally caught.

If you’ve ever asked yourself “Should I trust him?” here are seven red flags to look out for.

1) He Never Answers Simple Questions

Whenever you throw a straight question at him, he should toss back a straight answer. The most common tactic of people with something to hide is to give super vague answers that only superficially answer your questions.

“What are you doing today?”
“Stuff.”

“Have you ever tried that restaurant?”
“Maybe.”

“How long have you lived in this city?”
“A while.”

If his personal information is locked down more tightly than the CIA’s files, he’s covering up something.

2) His Friends Are Liars

His college buddy has never been faithful to a girlfriend. Ever. The guy he goes drinking with earns his beer money by running Craigslist scams. And his other friend? Well he doesn’t talk about himself much.

Birds of a feather flock together. So if all of his friends are vultures, then that gives you a clue about what kind of bird your guy is.

3) He Always Steps Outside To Take A Call Or Text

There’s nothing wrong with having a private conversation. But there is something wrong if all your conversations are private. If he makes extra effort to get you out of earshot every time someone calls him, he’s worried about what you might hear.

4) His Background Check Reveals Big Secrets

He might feed you half-truths you about where he’s lived in his life. He might lie to you about his criminal history. He might even claim that he’s told you about every single social media account he’s used. But how can you pick apart the truth from the lies?

There’s an easy way to find out whether he’s telling you the truth or not: an online background check. If you think he’s being less than totally honest about his past, simply pull his background check report. You could discover his arrest record, current and past addresses, and possibly social media profiles he doesn’t want you to know about.

Hey, we all make ourselves look a little cooler than reality on social media. But you should be suspicious if his social media accounts are downright deceptive.

Does he steal jokes and post them on Twitter, even though he’s about as funny as an IRS agent at his mother’s funeral?
Does his Instagram account make him look like a world traveler, even though his idea of a road trip is going to the fancier movie theater in the next town over when he wants to watch a superhero flick?
Do his snaps make him look like he parties every weekend, even though you know his biggest party pal is his Xbox?

Compulsive cyber-lying usually signals that someone also lies in real life.

6) He Accuses You Of Being Untrustworthy

Frauds think that everyone in their life is a big phoney. Does he always accuse you of going behind his back, cheating on him, and keeping secrets? It might be because he knows how easy it is to lie to someone in a relationship, and he’s trying to deflect attention away from his own lies.

7) He’s Unreachable For Days At A Time

You don’t have to expect that he'll get back to you the second you send a text. But if he can’t even respond with a simple “hey” for days when you try to reach out to him, he's probably living a life he doesn’t want you to know about.

Or at the very least, you are so low on his priorities list that he doesn’t see any problems with cutting off all communication with you— which is just as bad.

Should You Trust Him?

If a relationship were a car, then trust would be the gas. If it were coffee, then trust would be the caffeine. And if it were Jurassic Park, then trust would be the T-Rex. One just doesn’t work without the other. If he lies to you so often that it’s become a reflex, then you don’t really have a relationship. You have a guy who you hang out with a lot and tells you fairy tales about what a great person he is. And you’re probably long overdue for a reevaluation of where you two actually stand.

DISCLAIMER: It is PROHIBITED by law to use our service or the information it provides to make decisions about consumer credit, employment, insurance, tenant screening, or for any other purpose subject to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, 15 USC 1681 et seq. Instant Checkmate does not provide consumer reports and is not a consumer reporting agency. The information available on our website may not be 100% accurate, complete, or up to date, so do not use this information as a substitute for your own due diligence, especially if you have concerns about a person’s criminal history. Instant Checkmate does not make any representation or warranty about the accuracy of the information available through our website or about the character or integrity of the person about whom you inquire. For more information, please review Instant Checkmate Terms of Use.