5 Tips on How NOT To Write a CV

As a recruiter, we see a gazillion CV's every day. In an effort to assist the general populace in the art of how not to annoy your Recruiter/Hiring Manager we have endeavored to create 5 Tips on How NOT to Write a CV.

Here are some of the most common examples of CV's that just will not hit the mark.

1. THE NOVEL otherwise known as A Tale of A CV so long and cumbersome it could be mistaken for War and Peace.

While you may find your every minute detail of your career history to date to be of vital importance, no employer will.

Truths.

Here’s the reason – and its an obvious one- your CV will be one of many, and no hiring manager is going to have the time to read through the novella you have constructed so beautifully to detail your career from age 4 to current.

No, not even if you are going to be the CEO of The Very Successful and Important Business Corps.Nope. No one has the time. And they are not going to take it home for a bit of extra curricular reading either. So how much is too much to write in a CV and how little is too little then?

Basically, detail the last 4-5 positions you've had. Anything past that should be summarized. Your CV should ideally be 4 pages but this will also be dependent on the format and layout you use.

Bottom line: ‘keep it direct, relevant and to the point’

2. THE TECHNICAL MANUAL

For IT guru’s and tech heads of all shapes and sizes... you may know all the programming languages under the sun, have all the technical know-how and letters after your name to prove it, but if you write your CV like you are trying to program it onto the paper, then you are missing the most vital of these languages, the ENGLISH language.

The Solution -

You will need to put in a few of what we call 'sentences' here and there, and while it is vital in an IT CV that you include a technical skills piece (preferably at the very beginning of the CV so hiring managers can immediately see if you have the necessary IT skills for their role) you must also be able to show that behind all the tech is an actual human, kind of in a captcha sort of way to confirm you are a bona fide human being and not a cyberbot.

Include a mission statement ( what you want to achieve), key achievements in each role (use your words) and a note at the end of the CV about your personal interests, hobbies, what effectively makes you stand out. This will help paint a picture of you as a person and not you as a technical product.

Bottom line: Balance is key – include your skills, but don’t disappear as a person.

3. THE FLUFF

On the flip side, you could produce what we would call the Fluffy CV - the one that has absolutely ZERO substance. These can often take the form of a beautifully laid out template which was designed specifically in a top graphic design house in some ludicrous font such as Goudy Stout , with a fabulous non-selfied image of the candidate which was taken by a professional photographer and features said candidate staring into space in Sepia or holding a binder/book/laptop and for whatever reason... pointing. Some may believe this says, ’I point, therefore I am’ - It doesn't say this.

This CV will typically have fabulous words such as ‘expert’, ‘specializes in’ ‘passionate about’ ‘spent 4 years travelling in the Amazon as part of personal development’ and ... there will be no substance. No key achievements. No duties. No results. They may have put in their education but it could potentially read ‘1 year certificate in Emotional Intelligence studies’.

Fluff.

Bottom line: If your CV has zero substance to it, to the trained eye, all the prettifying in the world will not help you.

When writing your CV for a role you want to pursue but you have no relevant skills or experience for, stop writing. Instead, go out into that big bad world, decide on some courses and get some relevant work experience until you have something concrete for your application to stick to.

4. THE EGO STROKER

Now, a further step along the lines of the Fluff is its cousin, the Ego Stroker. A testimony to a person’s greatness, the Ego Stroker will similarly discuss expertise, spectacular achievements and incredible feats of fantasticness such as dragon slaying, rediscovering Atlantis etc.. etc.. however it may have a level of fact, achievements and duties that lend to the truth of these accomplishments. Which is, in fact, fine, however you must consider the PERSONALITY fit with the role/company you are going for.

Hiring managers tend to dislike when a candidate tells them they are the perfect fit for a role as to be honest, a candidate really cannot possibly know if they are or not unless they have specifically tapped into the minds of those making the hire (if the role you are going for is as a Psychic, well then you've got the job there obviously). Therefore, the idea of submitting an Ego Stroker CV which effectively screams off the page HIRE ME NOW YOU FOOLS DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM is as pointless as going to your local doctor and telling him your own diagnosis.

You need to let the hiring manager do their job and decide that you ARE the best person for the role – the key is to tactfully put forward this concept successfully in a CV by providing them with all the detail that is RELEVANT to the role.

Bottom line: There’s a big difference between nudging someone in your direction, and shoving your details in their face and screaming PICK ME

Most hiring managers prefer the former approach.

5. And finally – the CV du jour... THE ILLITERATE

OK. So. Here’s the thing. There is a little tool on word called SPELL. CHECK. This tool has effectively made everyone unable to spell as we are now too lazy to remember how to do it, however – it is no excuse not to use it. So lets SPELL it out for you: YOU MUST SPELL CHECK YOUR CV.

MUST.

It is shocking the amount of CVs that are submitted for roles from all levels that have spelling errors everywhere. And equally that goes for formatting – if you are sending a CV it must look good. That means, correct spelling, no weird tables or graphs that have no reason to be there or that when you open them up look like you accidentally confused your CV with your 90’s childhood obsession with the paint program on your PC and you went nuts.

Ensure that any tables are formatted correctly if you are going to use them, that your links to whatever sites you are using are functional (hyperlink where you can, shorten links where you can). Be sure to have correctly spelled the name of past companies and the CURRENT company (big, big no-no to have this spelled incorrectly) and be confident that you have thoroughly made use of that Review button on your word doc and activated that little old spell check button.

If English is not your first language, consult someone who’s primary language it is. Why would you let a little thing like an illegible document get between you and potentially your dream job? And it will. Stop you, that is. It can and will prevent you from securing an interview, so do not forget when writing your CV that is should be legible, in a clear font, no crazy formatting, spelled correctly, with your details clearly outlined.

Bottom line: Not annoying the recruiter/hiring personnel is your first aim, and the simple way to achieve this is to NOT write an illegible CV. Use SPELL CHECK.

The moral of the story being that the CV is such a vital part of your job search experience and it is worth putting the time into getting it right. By selling yourself through a clear, relevant document you have a much better shot at having your experience noted & you give yourself the best possible start as you kick off your job search.