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A Note to My Daughter on Father's Day: Don't Settle for Anything But Your Biggest Dream

This article is more than 8 years old.

Being a dad is the most amazing experience in the world. It’s impossible to explain how joyful and fulfilling it is most of the time, and how difficult it can be at other times. The beauty about this job is that you can never get fired. How about that?! In a way, it’s the most entrepreneurial adventure anyone in life can have. It starts with a brand new baby (aka startup) who grows and develops over time to be something independent and larger than life. This startup experiences lots of pivots but never exits. It’s purely a lifetime investment. Jon Stewart jokes “Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.” Legendary coach Jim Valvano, who was known for being an emotional guy stated “My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: He believed in me”. However you look at it, with fatherhood as with startups, what you put in is what you get out.

For me, being a dad (or Abba as we say in Hebrew) is life changing. My two kids, Ella (4.5 years old) and Micah (2 years old) are everything to me. They make me laugh, proud and also drive me crazy, all at the same time. They teach me something new every day, and surprise me constantly with their ability to catch on to things so quickly. Technology-wise, their ability to navigate between apps and get to to the right place on their tablets is beyond impressive. This is truly a new, much smarter generation than the one I remember myself growing up in.

Recently, I asked Ella what she wants to be when she grows up. She is about to start kindergarten in September so I thought it’s a good time to see which way the “wind is going”. Her answer was loud and clear: “I want to be a mom!”. Being the competitive person I am, I went at it again. “You can be a mom Ella, but you can also be something else… do you want to be a doctor? A lawyer? An artist?... No Abba, I just want to be a mom!”, Ella kept repeating. I looked at my wife Dina, who smiled at me like…. Don’t worry, she’ll change what she wants to be a hundred times, she’s only 4 years old for god sake!

Well, I want my Ella to have dreams and to go after them. I want her to be whatever she wants and never to settle. I want the world to give her everything and offer her all the opportunities that will get her excited about life. But still, she’s only 4, what’s the rush?... Today more than ever before the opportunities are endless and most people don’t know what they want to be even as grownups. But like a startup, Ella can pivot many times until she finds her dream job. This is the biggest advantage this generation has over previous ones.

The best proof is to look at my own experience and how I came to be working in tech and living an entrepreneurial life. My parents were blue collar people, working for decades at the same job. My mom was a nurse for 35 years while my dad worked at a factory that produces yeast for about 40 years. This is the kind of opportunity they were given, and they did the best with it.

Today its almost unimaginable to think of anyone in tech working for the same company for this period of time. The world has become so dynamic, and today we expect instant gratification or else we move on to the next thing.

Watching my parents experience, I grew up to believe that having a stable job with a good salary and benefits is the only way to go about life. Turned out that plan never worked for me. After trying that route I realized I have other ideas that I wanted to try out. I wanted to work with Israeli and other global companies looking to bring their products to the US market, I wanted to build communities, write, speak, be involved. This experience liberated me and helped me become who I am today. It enabled me to meet so many amazing people, more that I would ever meet if I was to work for just one company for many years. It stimulated me in unbelievable ways. It made me smarter and showed me how innovative and global the world is. It made me who I am today.

As we celebrate Father’s Day, I want you Ella to be whatever you want to be. Whether it’s being a teacher, a pianist, a doctor, lawyer, swimmer or a full time mom, I’d like for you to live up to your dreams. I know it sounds crazy when you are 4.5 years of age, but I was your age just yesterday. I can show you the pictures. It goes by so fast. And I never want you to settle for anything but your biggest dream. Like all other kids your age, you deserve it. And I’ll be there every step of the way to share some advice, or just to watch you and smile. Happy Father’s Day my love.

 

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