The plan for today’s lesson was to look at how to use employees without “using” or co-opting them.
I worry that some of our tactics for managing employees is more like callously moving pawns on a chessboard than working with human beings respectfully. I planned a refresher in the old-school lesson that if companies truly understood their employees’ needs and fears, and treated them nicely, they would get what they need from their employees in terms of productivity and quality.
I am still concerned about this, but the developments in the national election over the past month have trumped – pun intended – that concern with a related but more pressing one. If social media were any barometer, the level of incivility and intolerance for understanding one another is at an all-time high, with no promise for improvement through Nov. 8.
You might be wondering if and how I intend to ensure this lesson doesn’t become a political diatribe or rant. It won’t, and here’s how.
I will do this two ways: I will be transparent about my political stance and I will be committed to demonstrating how the national political campaign is a good example, albeit a macrocosm, for dealing with incivility and intolerance related to disagreements in our workplaces.
First, transparency: I firmly believe a Donald Trump presidency would create devastating circumstances and consequences for our country and the world. I have seen first-hand how narcissistic leaders jeopardize growth and even survival of organizations. I believe the impact would be exponentially worse if such a leader were the president of a democratic country. I hope you Trump-eters haven’t already tossed this lesson in the trash, because that’s the end of my political opinion.
Second: Here’s how we can use the national election to explore incivility and intolerance in our workplaces. Let’s begin with the national scene.
Have you ever witnessed such divisiveness during a national election? And, true to my promise to not get political, I’m not talking about the candidates. I’m talking about their supporters. Reading my social media feeds, I am sickened and saddened: not that people so passionately disagree with one another, but by the way people disagree. There is no civility, no respect and no interest in learning from one another. There is fear-mongering, condescension and rudeness; essentially, there is bullying.
How often does this happen at work? We have an agenda that we want to advance, and we’ll use whatever tactic we think will work. If we have power over others, as we discussed in previous columns, fear has long been one of those tactics. And regardless of position or power, arrogance and impoliteness are tolerated because someone brings in sales or is under a lot of stress. Perpetuating the “nice-guys-finish-last” adage may have been effective in the past, but never was lauded as venerable or even enduring. Today, we get that people shut down or, worse yet, sabotage when they are treated badly. Being kind and nice gets you credibility and respect, even if it doesn’t get you what you want every time.
How do we deal with disagreements? The election can also be very instructive on this issue. The people I know – and I mean “know” in a real and personal way and not in a Facebook way – who support Trump are good people with strong, admirable values. So I found myself in a bit of a quandary. I don’t agree with them, but I respect them too much to simply discount their point of views.
To address some of the dissonance, I felt that I needed to truly empathize and understand their perspective. Here is what I came up with:
Looking at Trump’s campaign theme, Make America Great Again, gave me the most insight. It resonates with the people I know. To these people, it seems they believe a Trump presidency means:
Our country won’t be taken advantage of because of our generosity throughout the world.
The U.S. will again be the “best” at everything, including manufacturing, technology and quality.
We will take care of our own citizens, ensuring that everyone can do better than just making ends meet.
More jobs will stay in America because more products will be made in America.
We won’t be attacked for standing for democracy.
I understand these sentiments. In fact, I agree that they are worthwhile cornerstones for democracies to pursue. By looking deeper to understand why people I respect might support Trump, I can acknowledge that we share important values but differ on how to promote them.
Think how this works at the workplace. When we disagree with our boss or co-worker, our first response is to push our view, opinion or idea even harder. Stephen Covey, author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” thought there was a more effective way. Likely inspired by the Prayer of St. Francis, he framed it in this way, as Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This means that when we have a disagreement at work, our default is doing our best to understand the other person – their needs, their thought processes and their views – at a deep level, beyond what our filters and even their words suggest. From that understanding, we see more of what share than how we differ. It’s a better place to start from in resolving disagreements.
We don’t make America great, or our workplaces, by bullying and incivility. Being kind and authentically understanding others first is what great countries and great workplaces are built upon.
Next month: the pursuit, as seen through LGBT-employee eyes.
Dr. Santo D. Marabella, The Practical Prof, is professor of management at Moravian College and president of Marabella Entertainment & Education Enterprises LLC. Website: ThePracticalProf.com;Twitter: @PracticalProf; Facebook: ThePracticalProf.
