How a memory lapse can cause you to leave a child in a car; child safety advocates explain

EVANSVILLE, Ind. — When Raelyn Balfour speaks to parent groups, she’ll sometimes ask her host to tell the audience nothing about her own life story.

She starts by asking the audience how many of them have lost their keys. Left their cell phone or medication behind even though they needed it. Most of her listeners admit they have.

“If this has ever happened to you, you can absolutely forget your child,” Balfour tells them.

She speaks from experience. In March 2007, Balfour’s infant son died after being left in her car for several hours, on a day she was convinced she had dropped him off at daycare. 

“I (would) swear up and down that’s what happened,” she said. “If you gave me a lie detector test, I would’ve passed.”

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But when Balfour found the baby still in his car seat that afternoon, she realized the memory wasn’t real. She had missed a turn that morning and gone straight to work, forgetting to take 9-month-old Bryce to daycare. Balfour tried to perform CPR, but Bryce was pronounced dead at a hospital soon after.

“My husband showed up, and we just cried,” she said. 

Fatalities at 'an all-time high'

More than 800 children in the U.S. have died in hot cars since 1998, according to data collected by San Jose State University. Fifty-two of those deaths were reported only last year.

At least five children were reported found in hot cars in less than a week in Vanderburgh County, during a blanket of heat and humidity that sent Tri-State heat indices above 100 degrees. One 3-year-old boy died, despite his distraught father’s efforts to get help.

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City police say three children, including a baby, were left in a vehicle July 5 with the windows rolled up and the engine off while their mother ran an errand. A bystander heard the children yelling for help and called 911. 

The children were unhurt, according to Evansville Police. Detectives are investigating the incident.

Toddler Oliver Dill was found inside a vehicle on USI’s campus Tuesday afternoon, several hours after his father parked and left the boy there by accident. The man rushed to find help after discovering the 3-year-old in the vehicle, but Oliver was pronounced dead that day. 

Investigators with Vanderburgh County Sheriff’s Office believe the toddler's death was a heat-related accident, but the county Coroner’s Office had not yet ruled on Dill’s cause or manner of death by press time.

“It could happen to anybody, really," Sheriff Dave Wedding said. "People think it can’t, but it can.”

Evansville Police reported another toddler was trapped in a car with their unconscious parents Thursday. The 2-year-old was removed from the vehicle and put in an air-conditioned police car, and the parents were arrested on preliminary drug possession charges.

The U.S. Department of Transportation warns caregivers not to leave children unattended in cars. Children are more vulnerable to heat stroke than adults because their bodies are less able to adjust to external temperatures.

But awareness of the issue is not enough to save lives on its own, child safety advocate Amber Rollins said.

“We hear about it every summer. And yet the number of fatalities is at an all-time high,” said Rollins, director of advocacy group Kids and Cars. “Education and awareness are not going to stop this problem, because nobody believes this can happen to them.”

The dangers of mental 'autopilot'

One of Kids and Cars’ efforts is tracking details of cases where children died after being left in hot cars. That includes cases where children were unintentionally left, like Oliver Dill and Bryce Balfour.

“This happens to moms, it happens to dads, it happens to grandparents,” Rollins said. “People of all economic statuses, people of all races and ethnicity, it happens to young people and old people. It’s just one of those things that does not discriminate.”

That’s hard for some parents to accept, Balfour said. It’s tempting to believe an accident can be blamed on someone’s bad decision because it could mean you’re immune to experiencing it yourself.

“It’s the mentality that if I acknowledge that could happen to me, in some way I’m an irresponsible parent,” Balfour told the Courier & Press. “And that’s just not the case. Our brains, unfortunately, do not differentiate between a cell phone or a child.”

Child safety advocates at Kids and Cars say sleep deprivation and routine play a major part in cases where children are unintentionally left in a hot car.

“This is more likely to happen when you’re very fatigued and when there’s a change in the normal routine,” Rollins explained. “That can be as little as a change in the order you drop the kids off in the morning.”

Tired caregivers will automatically follow their normal routine unless they have reminders of the change, she said.

“The scary part is, when you’re in autopilot mode, your brain and memory systems can’t account for a change in that routine,” Rollins said. “You would have to have some type of audio or visual reminder that you’re supposed to do it. Otherwise, you’re going straight to work.”

Prevention strategies

Memory aids such as keeping a stuffed animal in the child’s car seat and moving it to the front seat after the child is buckled in can give drivers a visual reminder of their child passenger. Rollins recommends cultivating a “look before you lock” habit — checking all seats for passengers before walking away.

“A really good way to start that habit is to put something you need on the floor in front of the car seat,” she said. “If I got into work and didn’t have my laptop, I’d turn right back around and go back to the car because I can’t do my job without it.”

Balfour also recommended a strategy that could have helped her son: Asking daycare providers to call parents until they get an answer if the child has not shown up within 15 minutes of their normal drop-off time.

On a national level, Kids and Cars is pushing for the Hot Cars Act. Bills introduced in Congress would require vehicle equipment that reminds drivers to check the rear seat for passengers when the engine turns off — similar to alert systems that let a driver know their headlights are still on, or someone is not wearing a seat belt. The bills would also require a study to find out what technology could provide those alerts in older cars.

Balfour said there was a “perfect storm” of factors that led her to accidentally leave her son in the car: Sleep deprivation, the baby falling asleep on the way, a change in routine, a work phone call she answered while driving.

After her son died, Balfour decided to take every opportunity she could to teach other parents about preventing accidents.

“I wanted to make sure my son’s death wasn’t for nothing,” Balfour said.

She’s spoken to many parents who have suffered a similar loss. She compares the grief to being constantly wrapped in a cold blanket.

“I tell them, very straightforward, that it’s never going to get better,” Balfour said. “It’s something you learn to live with… the hole is forever there.”

Resources

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has the following tips for preventing children from suffering heatstroke in a hot car:

• Never leave a child unattended in a vehicle, even if windows are open or the air conditioning is on.
• Look in the front and back seats of a vehicle every time before locking the doors.
• Do not let children play in vehicles, and do not give them access to car keys, to avoid children locking themselves in a vehicle by accident. Close to 30 percent of hot car deaths happen when an unattended child gets into a vehicle.
• Bystanders should call 911 right away if the child is not responding or seems distressed, according to the NHTSA. Get the child out of the car immediately if possible and spray them with cold water.

For more information, see kidsandcars.org or nhtsa.gov/road-safety/child-safety.