How To Find Your Long Lost Ex And Win Them Back

How To Find Your Long Lost Ex And Win Them Back
By Logan Strain on November 9, 2015

Old flames still burn long after you’ve said goodbye. You may have traveled down separate life paths since you called it quits, but you’ve decided that you aren’t totally done with the past yet. You ended on good terms, but want to see if there's still something there. So you’re going to find your ex. And you’ll do everything in your power to rekindle your relationship.

It’s impossible to ignore your longing if you want to reconnect with someone special from your past. And that ache only gets worse if you have no idea where they’re living now.

Fortunately, if you know their name and their age, you can possibly find out where they live. And a whole lot more.

If you’re strategic, you can be your own private eye and track down just about anybody. Here’s how to find your ex to see if the spark is still there.

1) Google Them

Step one is a Google search. While a search engine is great at finding the closest pizza joint to you and uncovering facts like what year Thomas Edison was born (1847, if you were wondering), it’s not quite as great at finding a person's contact info. People often guard against leaving their personal information available to anyone who searches their name, so you will probably have to dig deeper.

2) Check Out Social Media

Are they on Twitter? Facebook? Instagram?

If they’re younger, it’s almost guaranteed that they keep in touch with their social circle via social media. Check all of the major social media networks to see if they reveal where they’re living now. Even if they don’t reveal their address, they probably expose their favorite hangout spots if they post often.

3) Get In Touch With Their Family

No luck with Google or social media? It’s time to talk to actual people.

Your best bet will be to contact their immediate family. Be warned, however. The sight of an ex trying to get in touch can set off red flags. Be prepared to explain that you have completely noble intentions in order to see them. If they refuse to give up the information, you can ask them to ask your ex for permission to give up the contact information.

4) Locate Their Address

You can also take advantage of the information located in public records. Simply do an online background check. You might be able to see their current address, as well as their criminal history. If you upgrade to a premium report for an additional fee, you may also be able to see their email addresses or phone numbers.

How To Win Them Back

Of course, once you find them, your work is only half done. Once you get back in touch, you have to find a way to delicately let them know you still have feelings for them. And hopefully inspire them to return your affection.

1) Take It Slow

Admit it: you’ve been grabbed by fantasies of hopping back into each other’s lives like you never missed a beat. While you already did the courtship tango once before, the fact that you called it quits means that you’re going to have to do it all over again. Don’t expect to pick up like nothing ever happened.

2) Admit Past Mistakes

Even if you separated on good terms, there were reasons you didn’t stick together. Sure, they weren’t perfect. But if you blame them for the end of the relationship, they’ll just get defensive.

Instead, you need to look inward. How are you a better, more mature, and more developed person now? Humbly admitting that you weren’t at your best during the waning days of your couplehood will make your ex take a second look.

3) Get Their Friends On Your Side

Love and war have more than just the “fairness” thing in common. In both endeavours, it also helps to have allies. Does your former flame have friends who liked you? Let them know that you’re interested in getting back together. If you explain why you would make a great partner, it might come off as hollow. But if your ex hears it from a close friend, they’ll take you more seriously.

4) Know When To Walk Away

Some things just aren’t meant to be. If you’ve given it your all and they’re still not interested, then you owe it to yourself (and to your ex) to simply walk away with your dignity intact. Pining over someone who isn’t interested in you is a waste of time.

Don’t Let Old Flames Die

Unearthing the past forces you to walk through an emotional minefield. You just don’t know how your ex will react to you showing by getting their contact information through public records. Regardless of what happens, you can always have the satisfaction of knowing that you were brave enough to try.

DISCLAIMER: It is PROHIBITED by law to use our service or the information it provides to make decisions about consumer credit, employment, insurance, tenant screening, or for any other purpose subject to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, 15 USC 1681 et seq. Instant Checkmate does not provide consumer reports and is not a consumer reporting agency. The information available on our website may not be 100% accurate, complete, or up to date, so do not use this information as a substitute for your own due diligence, especially if you have concerns about a person’s criminal history. Instant Checkmate does not make any representation or warranty about the accuracy of the information available through our website or about the character or integrity of the person about whom you inquire. For more information, please review Instant Checkmate Terms of Use.
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