Do trad students find it weird to hang with 25+ non-trads in med school?

Yikes. I started undergrad at 25 and am now 28. Last year I married my 21 year old intro Bio TA. I didn't have any issues making friends of all ages. Some of my very best friends are traditional UG seniors, others are 40 year old stay-at-home moms.

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I never felt like I really belonged, but I hear that's a common refrain for many people, regardless of their traditional or non-traditional status (we had a post secret where the most common thing I felt like I would read was how lonely everyone was). I had a few people I was friends with, but I was close enough to home that I could just hang out with my actual friends instead of making new ones. I feel like a lot of it was just the chronological barrier- my priorities and goals just aren't in line with the traditional crowd, and we really just don't have a hell of a lot to talk about. That barrier seems to be more for the late 20s and beyond crowd though, I feel like the 22-26 crowd was pretty cohesive, while the father you got out from that, the more people had families and other support networks that made socializing at school unnecessary. I wouldn't say I ever had trouble socializing though, just that I wasn't at the same point in my life so the sort of socializing the younger students were doing just wasn't something I wanted to be involved in (my liver can only take so much).

Considering the average age of an MD matriculant is ~24, they shouldn't. I'm starting second year soon..I am almost 27 and married, so no, I don't feel that I fit in, but that has nothing to do with my age. I just have different priorities than many of my peers and choose to spend my free time with my husband and not out drinking.

That being said, I don't have any friends and really haven't tried much except during orientation to do so.

Age is a number. You make friends with people because of who they are not how old. Ask yourself this question, out of a med school class of 150, how many of those people will you even be study buddies with, let alone genuine, i'll-be-invited-to-your-wedding level friends?

And just to reverse the scenario, don't you think us non-trads find it weird hanging out with you 21 year old babies? I got my drivers license while you were in kindergarten. I saw Jurassic Park in the theater before you were a twinkle in your parents' eye. I used to have to walk 5 miles, up hill both ways to get to school!

But in all seriousness, my two closest friends in med school are 23 and 25, while I'm 30+ and married.

Nope, but I've always gotten along with people older than me. I'm close with both of my roommates who are older than 25 and one of my friends is approaching 40.

Older people > people my age. I like the deep and meaningful convos I can have with them about society, politics, life etc.


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have you ever had a job before...?

I'm in my 30s and I have friends who were born in the 70s, 80s, and 90s.

As a 22 year old rising M2, sometimes I do feel a little awkward around older non-trads. Not that they're not fantastic, interesting people! I just feel like they're so much more mature and are in a much different stage of life than I am. So I tend to hang around mostly with the early 20s crowd, although a few of my good friends are in their late 20s!

Older people are ideal social partners. Because you can gain their knowledge and wisdom instead of failing yourself and learning the hard way. This applies to all aspects of life. Especially older women.

I'm 36 in my post-bac and friends with many people on campus. I don't see myself hanging out with freshman, but I get along splendidly with the younger folks. I'm married, so like many people who posted above, I'm mostly hanging out when I'm on campus - I have a separate life at home. Can't say for medical school, but the age difference will be less there so I don't foresee any issues.

Not a med student, but I work in a lab with grad students that are 25+. We all get along really well and occasionally have lab hangouts that are a ton of fun. I love hanging out with people who are older than me! They tend to have a lot more wisdom and they often give better advice than people my own age.

You thought this was a legit question to ask and make a thread about? lol....

Lannister said:

As a 22 year old rising M2, sometimes I do feel a little awkward around older non-trads. Not that they're not fantastic, interesting people! I just feel like they're so much more mature and are in a much different stage of life than I am. So I tend to hang around mostly with the early 20s crowd, although a few of my good friends are in their late 20s!

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This is fair. I have some straight out of UG people in my study group and more than once I've heard that exact same thing to my face - 401ks, mortgages, kids, etc. it's just not part of where they are in life. Similarly, while I will occasionally go out and party with my classmates which is always a blast, you have to remember that I've already done that. I feel like I still have bar tabs that my credit card and liver are still paying off. So it's not that I don't want to, it's that I've already had my fair share.

meraki_soul said:

This is true in theory, but does it play out in reality? I'm 23 right now and sometimes I feel people that are 21 or even 22 look at me differently when they first meet me and realize I'm a year older.

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This isn't high school. This isn't like a freshman looking up in awe at a senior. My wife is 3 years older than I am. The world outside of undergrad doesn't care about your age... unless you're a female actress.

CyrilFiggis said:

Similarly, while I will occasionally go out and party with my classmates which is always a blast, you have to remember that I've already done that. I feel like I still have bar tabs that my credit card and liver are still paying off. So it's not that I don't want to, it's that I've already had my fair share.

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Yeah absolutely! I think that's part of why it's easier to be friends with people your age, because those are the people who are gonna wanna do the same things as you. It's harder to be friends with someone who has to go home to their spouse and kids at night and doesn't have the time/desire to hang out outside of school.

I think the "age" difference is really not about age. In my experience the two biggest factors are:

1. Has the person worked before?
2. Are they married/Do they have kids?

Those seem to be the factors that influence interaction/maturity/desires more than minor age differences which is part of the reason why you see age starting to be meaningless from a social perspective past ~25. Also, the longer you're alive each year represents a smaller percentage of your experiences and for most people there is less variance year to year.

meraki_soul said:

Curious about this question...do traditional students find it weird to hang out with 25-26 year old non-trads? I'm not talking about being study buddies but actual, genuine friendships. How common is this?

At the same time, do non-trads feel left out in the midst of a younger student body? Do you guys still fit in and belong in the class despite being 3-4 years older than your peers? Curious whether med school is like undergrad where people form their own little groups and judge others based on their age, grades, popularity status, etc. I'm not saying every undergrad is like this, but that's what I saw at my school

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I start school next week but have been doing medical student research this summer with other students. We all hang out after lab and they are all 23-26...I'm 33. No one even knows I'm older (or cares) unless I bring it up. If anything others have been inspired by my journey to medicine. I think being non-trad and older with experience sets you up to be a leader.

I had peers in my uni that were 20 years older. We got along and even became friends. It is all about the attitude and perspective.

zurc2014 said:

I start school next week but have been doing medical student research this summer with other students. We all hang out after lab and they are all 23-26...I'm 33. No one even knows I'm older (or cares) unless I bring it up. If anything others have been inspired by my journey to medicine. I think being non-trad and older with experience sets you up to be a leader.

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Does your class at UTSW have a lot of non-traditional people?

mariposas905 said:

Does your class at UTSW have a lot of non-traditional people?

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We have a good amount. We had a non trad lunch and there are a fair amount of people who are 30+ yo with previous careers.

Level of maturity only loosely correlates with age.

libertyyne said:

Level of maturity only loosely correlates with age.

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I've found a stronger correlation to work experience.


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lol I'm non-traditional student upper 20's and most of my friends are 18-23. People don't really care.

zurc2014 said:

We have a good amount. We had a non trad lunch and there are a fair amount of people who are 30+ yo with previous careers.

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So would you say this seems reasonable for the class profile at UTSW? http://www.utsouthwestern.edu/education/medical-school/admissions/our-students.html

Sometimes in one of my old job, I am in a group with 10+ members that are 25+. For me it was rather a positive experience, because as the youngest member of the group you tend to get more love and care from your senior peers (I know it can get opposite in some places). But, those are the times that taught me the most, because almost every single conversation I had with them had taught me something that enlightens my future.

So no, I wouldn't think it's weird to hang around non-trad students. You should even welcome them into the field and embrace their previous experiences. Remember you all have one common goal ---to become a lifesaver. That should help reducing the "age gaps" between and lead to good relationship.

I had no problem hanging out with much older classmates and I made some genuine friendships.

Inspired Chaos said:

I started undergrad at 25 and am now 28. Last year I married my 21 year old intro Bio TA.

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What a boss.

DBC03 said:

I've found a stronger correlation to work experience.


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Agree with this. I'm 33, and I have peers who are extremely immature. The ones who aren't almost universally have worked real jobs with real responsibility.

I'm a trad student (22) and have lots of friends who are in their late 20s and early 30s. It's not that weird to be honest. The only thing that I'm still not always used to is them talking to me about their wives/husbands or their kids. Mostly because I just can't picture myself as married with children.

Mrlewy said:

I'm a trad student (22) and have lots of friends who are in their late 20s and early 30s. It's not that weird to be honest. The only thing that I'm still not always used to is them talking to me about their wives/husbands or their kids. Mostly because I just can't picture myself as married with children.

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I couldn't when I was 22 either. Or 28. Wasn't until I was 30.

joschar said:

What a boss.

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Hahahahahahahahahaha

I'm a 27 year old MS4, and I have multiple good friends in my class who are 24 or 25, as well as some who are 29 or 30. As long as you aren't a weirdo, you'll have no trouble finding friends in med school regardless of age difference.

mariposas905 said:

So would you say this seems reasonable for the class profile at UTSW? Our Medical Students: UT Southwestern, Dallas, TX

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Nah thats out dated. They havent updated that in a few years I believe. We have slightly more females in this class (50.6) as well as a broader gpa range. It says 2016 profile but it was the same in 2015 :/

I'm 22 and all my friends I've made in medical school are non-trads. I prefer hanging out with them than the people my age in most cases

Here were my observations that could or could not be unique to myself...

1. My school didn't have mandatory lectures, so I only came for mandatory labs and exams. I pretty much maintained friendships with friends outside of school.

2. For people that went to lecture, it became very cliquish. It was like high school, but not as bad.

3. Once you get into the 20s, she becomes just a number.

zurc2014 said:

Nah thats out dated. They havent updated that in a few years I believe. We have slightly more females in this class (50.6) as well as a broader gpa range. It says 2016 profile but it was the same in 2015 :/

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Hey! Check your PMs

I'm 40 and I've never really had difficulty relating to or becoming friends with my younger classmates (which is all of them).

Mrlewy said:

I'm a trad student (22) and have lots of friends who are in their late 20s and early 30s. It's not that weird to be honest. The only thing that I'm still not always used to is them talking to me about their wives/husbands or their kids. Mostly because I just can't picture myself as married with children.

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I'm also 22 and even after a year of being around all these older non-trads, I still get a little shock when someone mentions their spouse/kid. I think I forget how young I am, and the idea of being married/having a family is just such a bizarre concept to me! Doesn't help that people around here tend to get married very young, so there are plenty of people who are just a year or two older than me who are already married. Makes me feel slightly behind haha.

Lannister said:

I'm also 22 and even after a year of being around all these older non-trads, I still get a little shock when someone mentions their spouse/kid. I think I forget how young I am, and the idea of being married/having a family is just such a bizarre concept to me! Doesn't help that people around here tend to get married very young, so there are plenty of people who are just a year or two older than me who are already married. Makes me feel slightly behind haha.

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When you hit 22 and your facebook feed starts lighting up with engagements and marriages and ..... babies
I can hardly take care of myself, thank you very much.

DrHart said:

When you hit 22 and your facebook feed starts lighting up with engagements and marriages and ..... babies
I can hardly take care of myself, thank you very much.

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That's why I deleted Facebook haha.
And yeah, the fact that I've eaten only hard boiled eggs for dinner for the past few days is probably fine when you're single and childless, but feeding a kid nothing but hard boiled eggs might result in someone calling CPS on me.

Lannister said:

That's why I deleted Facebook haha.
And yeah, the fact that I've eaten only hard boiled eggs for dinner for the past few days is probably fine when you're single and childless, but feeding a kid nothing but hard boiled eggs might result in someone calling CPS on me.

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You'd think. But then you have kids and they go like a week eating nothing but cheese and crackers and they do just fine. You pick your battles.

Matthew9Thirtyfive said:

You'd think. But then you have kids and they go like a week eating nothing but cheese and crackers and they do just fine. You pick your battles.

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Dude nothing be cheese and crackers sounds awesome.

Lannister said:

Dude nothing be cheese and crackers sounds awesome.

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Lanny this is how we now you're still a kid at heart

Lannister said:

Dude nothing be cheese and crackers sounds awesome.

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My two year old thinks so.